229 Samples of 4th Grade Writing Pieces Sample A - Milwaukee ...

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample A© Milwaukee Public Schools 229

Sample AI have been given the opportunity to go on any trip of mychoice. I have chosen to go to Australia. Three things I willtake with me on my voyage are a cell phone, swimming gearand additional clothes.The first item I'm going to bring is a cell phone. The reason Iam bringing it is because I want to keep in touch with myfamily. I also want to bring it in case of an emergency. Younever know what can happen when you're away from home. IfI am bored on the plane ride, I can take out my cell phoneand play one of the exciting games available on it. Playinggames always helps me pass the time.The second item I'm going to bring is swimming gear. Ofcourse this means my swimming suit, in addition to otherimportant swimming necessities. For relaxing, I will bring mybig comfortable floaty chair. This I will use while drifting© Milwaukee Public Schools 230

near shore in the crystal blue ocean. I will also need divingequipment, so I can explore the coral reefs in the waterssurrounding the rugged continent of Australia.My third item consists of a variety of clothing for thedifferent activities I will enjoy while vacationing in Australia.I will need my bathrobe to go to the spa in. My slippers willbe a must for walking to and from the spa. The Australian suncan be quite hot during the daylight hours, so I will pack acouple of hats to protect my head from the scorching rays.Boots will be necessary for hiking. Of course I will need afancy outfit when we go out in the evening.I'm planning to have a great time in Australia using the itemsI have included in my suitcase. When I return to Wisconsin,I'll be sure to share the stories about my adventures withyou!© Milwaukee Public Schools 231

AÑO XXXIV Núm. 49 12 de marzo de 2015 7042EXPOSICIÓN DE MOTIVOSLa caza es una actividad que se desarrolla en la mayor parte del territorio de Castilla-La Mancha, constituyendo unapráctica de amplia repercusión económica, social y medioambiental.Al realizarse en el medio rural, soporte del patrimonio natural y biodiversidad de la región, es necesario habilitar losinstrumentos específicos que aseguren su protección, así como establecer las condiciones, para que las diferentesprácticas cinegéticas, y aquellas agrarias que inciden directamente sobre las anteriores, se realicen de manera compatiblecon las estrategias y planes de conservación, así como garantizar su compatibilidad con otras actividadesque se realizan en el medio natural con una creciente repercusión social y económica.La caza como actividad comercial, deportiva, recreativa y lúdica, es practicada en esta región por un gran número depersonas, por lo que debe ser regulada de forma conveniente, ordenada, sostenible, teniendo en cuenta su potencialcomo medio generador de economía y de empleo rural, diversificación de la renta agraria y desestacionalización deesta. Las numerosas asociaciones, sociedades y clubes de cazadores distribuidos por las poblaciones de Castilla-La Mancha, tienen una trascendencia social de relevancia, con un marcado carácter cultural, por lo que deben serimpulsadas, ya que al realizar una importante labor de promoción y vigilancia del medio rural pueden participar muyactivamente en la conservación de los hábitats y especies naturales, así como en la prevención y control de dañosproducidos por especies cinegéticas, fundamentalmente en la agricultura.La ley viene a derogar y sustituir a la Ley 2/1993, de 15 de julio, de Caza de Castilla-La Mancha, que tiene indudablesvirtudes, pero dado el tiempo transcurrido desde su aprobación, se considera necesario adecuarla a las necesidadesactuales al objeto de conseguir una planificación integral de la totalidad de los terrenos cinegéticos basada enla cooperación con los titulares de los aprovechamientos cinegéticos, así como una simplificación y agilidad de lostrámites administrativos que facilite una gestión eficaz compatible con la insustituible labor de supervisión y controlde la Administración.El Estatuto de Autonomía de Castilla-La Mancha otorga competencia exclusiva a esta Comunidad Autónoma enmateria de caza.La ley se estructura en nueve títulos, ochenta y siete artículos, cuatro disposiciones adicionales, once disposicionestransitorias, una disposición derogatoria y seis disposiciones finales.El título I recoge los objetivos y fines de esta ley, establece los conceptos básicos de aplicación, las definiciones,así como las disposiciones generales que la inspiran. Como novedad, introduce los Planes de Conservación delPatrimonio Genético de las especies cinegéticas más sensibles a la introgresión genética como herramienta paraconseguir los objetivos marcados en la custodia de la pureza genética y la calidad sanitaria, junto con la identificacióngenética siempre que sea posible de las especies o subespecies cinegéticas, el establecimiento de sus característicasmorfológicas y fenotípicas, y la promoción de una marca de calidad cinegética.El título II hace referencia a las especies de caza y sus hábitats. En él, dentro del marco legal que la actual distribuciónde competencias permite y debido a la gran importancia que tiene esta materia en la región, desarrolla las fórmulasen cuanto a la responsabilidad por daños causados por especies de caza en la agricultura, terrenos forestaleso la ganadería. En cuanto a la responsabilidad civil derivada de accidentes de tráfico por piezas de caza se haceuna remisión a la legislación estatal.Se establece la posibilidad de un tratamiento especial en su planificación de forma preferente de aquellas especiescinegéticas autóctonas, en atención a su significado ecológico, deportivo, económico o por resultar sensibles alaprovechamiento cinegético, que tienen en muchas ocasiones una vital importancia como base trófica para ciertasespecies protegidas de gran interés de conservación, asegurándose el fomento de sus poblaciones.Con el fin de evitar el furtivismo, se regula la documentación necesaria y dispositivos válidos para el traslado depiezas muertas procedentes del ejercicio de la caza, que junto con otras medidas adoptadas en la ley, dará mayorseguridad jurídica a las infracciones cometidas por este hecho.Resulta de gran importancia el tratamiento que da la ley a los aspectos sanitarios implicados directamente en lasalud pública y seguridad alimentaria de los consumidores así como, la calidad sanitaria y la pureza genética de laspiezas de caza vivas o sus huevos, que son objeto de captura, traslado o suelta, así como los principios básicos decontrol del estado de las poblaciones cinegéticas y para la conservación de sus hábitats, o el tratamiento en la apariciónde enfermedades, entre los que se encuentra la figura de las agrupaciones de defensa sanitaria cinegética.

Sample BIf I went on a trip and could only 3 things, They would bethese things my favorite pants that turn into capris or shorts,I'd bring my shampoo/conditioner, and my mini tv.I'd bring my favorite pants because if its cold out I have towear pants if its warm Ive got to wear capris, and if it's hot outI'll want shorts. I also bring them because there comfortable andif I can only bring 3 things Ill need them 4 pajamas.Id also bring my shampoo/conditioner. Id never leave thehaise for more than to days with-out washing my hair. I alwayshave to use conditioner no matter what.Most of the time on a trip I want my mini tv. I don't watchtv that mutch but when I do I can't miss these shows...theparkers, the Cosby show, Simpsons, and that 70's Show.I would be happy to go on a trip for 3 days as long as thethings are my favorite pants, my shampoo/conditioner and my minitv.© Milwaukee Public Schools 234

Score = 3 (Proficient)Sample BYesMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea Communicated+ Ideas sufficiently organized &developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Not YetAppropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicatedideas sufficiently organized and elaboratedauthor’s personality imprinted on the writing taskWeaknesses:Conventions (capitalization, punctuation, andspelling)Below grade level word choice/ language use (4,to, two, too).Focus of Instruction:Focus should be editing paper for capitalization,punctuation, and spelling,Creating an introduction and conclusion that arenot a summary of the pieceAdding grade level vocabularyEliminating language errors.Student Comments:Good job of letting your reader know the three itemsyou’ll be bringing. Think about adding someadditional detail by answering these questions:Where are you going that you’ll need to adjust yourpants? Why do you need to wash your hair every twodays? Are you proud of your hair?Teacher Comments:Modeling of leads.Use of an editing checklist.Word choice/use of thesaurus.© Milwaukee Public Schools 235

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample C© Milwaukee Public Schools 236

Sample CToday my family and I are going on a trip. I'm taking threethings I need. My family and I are going to land O' lakes. We will leaveat Saturday 7:00 am and come back next week at 1:00 pm. I'm thinkingwhat three things I could take.One of my three things is money. So you can buy things. Yourparents are spending there money on gas and other things. So yourparents can't help you buy something.Lap top is another thing you can take. So if you get bored youcan play on it. Sometimes I get bored of watching the road. So I bringsomething that I can play with. That is why I bring a lap top.A suit is another you could take So if you are going to a party.Or if there is nothing else to wear. Always bring a extra suit. If youdon't know if you don't have any clothes.Well we are leaving now. I got my three things. I got the money,lap top, and suit. Leaving at 7:00 am just like I told you. Coming backnext week. Well got to hit the road.© Milwaukee Public Schools 237

Score = 3 (Proficient)Sample CYesMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea CommunicatedNot YetIdeas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicatedIdeas sufficiently organizedEvidence of author’s response to the writing taskSpellingWeaknesses:Some sentence fragmentsIdeas underdevelopedFocus of Instruction:Expand upon existing ideas ( use past experience,examples). Work of sentence variety, specificallytargeting sentences staring with “if” or “so”.Have student read each sentence checking for asubject and predicate (eliminating fragments).Student Comments:I liked your three choices and you addressed theprompt but I wanted to know more. For example, Why are you going to Land O’ Lakes? What will you do there? What do you spend your money on? What kind of suit will you bring?Teacher Comments:Mini-lesson on sentence combining.Reminder of correct use of homophone – “they’re,their, there”© Milwaukee Public Schools 238

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample D© Milwaukee Public Schools 239

Sample DIf I were going on a trip and I could only bring threethings I would bring things that are useful. I would bringmy notebook, my pen, and my tooth brush. I would writethings down that I saw or did. My toothbrush is useful tome because I would need to brush my teeth. Those arethe 3 things I would bring on a trip.My notebook would be useful because I could writethings down. The things that I would write down are thethings that I saw or did. It would be so cool if I couldexplain the trip. I love to write in my notebook.Next, I would bring my pen. My pen would go with mynotebook or some kind of paper. I love to write stories,poems or what I did or I saw. I love to write where everI am. I would write on my way down and on my way back© Milwaukee Public Schools 240

from my trip. The pen makes words on paper! I love towrite about anything.Finally, my toothbrush is very useful. I would need tobrush my teeth. My teeth need to stay white. I can'thave yellow teeth. That would just make me gag. I brushmy teeth everyday. My teeth and my toothbrush are veryimportant to me.All of those things are useful to bring on a trip. Iwould need all of those things. I could use all of thosethings. I like all of the things I chose. I like everythingthat I want or brought on the trip.© Milwaukee Public Schools 241

Score = 3 (Proficient)Sample DYesMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea Communicated+ Ideas sufficiently organized &developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)+ Appropriate word choice &usageNot YetAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicatedIdeas sufficiently organized and elaboratedAuthor’s personality imprinted on the writing task.Weaknesses:Some run-on sentencesFocus of Instruction:Creating an introduction that is not a summary ofthe pieceWriting a conclusion with more sentence varietyIdentifying and correcting run-on sentencesStudent Comments:You did a good job of explaining your reasons forbringing the items. I especially liked your detailsabout writing using the notebook and pen.Work on making your lead more interesting so thatyour reader wants to continue reading. Try varyingyour sentence beginnings.Teacher Comments:Model leadsMini-lessons on sentence beginningsMini-lessons on run-ons© Milwaukee Public Schools 242

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample E© Milwaukee Public Schools 243

Sample EIf I was going on a trip to Florda and could only bring threethingsi'd bring my three piece Nike outfit. And my two piecebikini. And my favorite stuffed animal Lisa.I would bring my three piece Nike outfit because it is verycomfortable. The inside of my sweater is very, very soft!!!!!! Myshorts are nice and smooth. My slirt has the Nike logo on it. Thatis why i'd bring my Nike outfit.I'd bring my 2 piece bikini because it is my favorite color. Ithas Hawaiian flowers on it. I love that swim suit!!I would bring my stuffed animal Lisa because my cousin gaveher to me. And that if I had a bad dream she could make it goaway. I love my cousin and I love Lisa!!!!!!!!!If I went to Florida and could only bring three thing. that iswhat I'd bring.© Milwaukee Public Schools 244

Score = 2/3 (Basic)Sample EMPS Writing Rubric – FormativeStrengths:Main idea communicatedAuthor’s personality imprinted on the writing taskYesNot Yet+ Main Idea CommunicatedIdeas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStudent Comments:Your ideas are adequately presented and organizedbut could be developed more. Can you explain howthe clothing you are bringing will be appropriate fora trip you are taking? Can you start your sentencesin ways other than “I” and “my”? Do yourintroductory and concluding paragraphs captivate thereader?Teacher Comments:Mini-lesson on leads and conclusionsMini-lesson on sentence fluency (specificallysentence beginnings)Weaknesses:Underdeveloped ideasConventions (spelling and punctuation)Occasional incorrect language usageLack of sentence variety.Focus of Instruction:Work on writing introductions andconclusion that are not restatements of themain ideaDeveloping ideas in paragraph(specifically paragraph #2)Work on developing effective languageusage.© Milwaukee Public Schools 245

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample F© Milwaukee Public Schools 246

Sample FIf I went on a trip and I could only bring 3 item, here is whatthey would be matches, money, and my cellphone. Go on and readthe story and see why I picked those things.The first item I would bring would be my cellphon. Thereason why I would have to bring my cellphone is so I could talkto my friend. Another reason why I would bring my cellphone is soI could play this really really fun game called Bejewled. Also Icould text message my friends. It would be so much fun to bringmy cellphone on the trip.The second thing that I would bring would have to bematches. The reason why I picked matches is so my cousin and Icould have bomb fires. We would have so much fun. we wouldthrow gas in the fire so it would blow up into a great deal ofburning hot glowing flames. The third item I would bring is money.The reason why I picked money, is so I could buy things for mycousin and I. My trip and items would be great.© Milwaukee Public Schools 247

Score = 2+ (Basic)YesSample FMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea Communicated+ Ideas sufficiently organized &developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Not YetAppropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicatedIdeas well organized and developedCorrect capitalization, punctuation, and grammarWeaknesses:Lack of a closingSome sentence repetitionSome poor word choice.Focus of Instruction:Develop ways to add “juicy words” (replace theword “fun”)Add a closing that adds to the piece but is not asummaryStudent Comments:You address the prompt and explain what threethings you are planning. How can a reader walk awayfrom the conclusion of your piece more satisfied?Can you use more interesting or active words otherthan “fun”?Teacher Comments:Mini-lesson on conclusionsMini-lesson on synonyms© Milwaukee Public Schools 248

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample G-1© Milwaukee Public Schools 249

Samples of 4th Grade Writing PiecesSample G-2© Milwaukee Public Schools 250

Sample GIf I was going on a trip I would bring gas, money and myskateboard. I would bring my skateboard becaise I couldskate on it. I would bing money so I could luy things. Icould put in in my car. These are the three things I wouldbring on my trip.The first thing I will talk about is my skateboard. Iwould bring my skateboard because I could stop at skateparks. I would also bring my skateboard because if I feltlike skating I could stop at places and skate and eat. Icould also stop at playgrounds to skate at. I might also beable to skate at the resort so I could skate in the emptypool.If I bring my money I could buy things. I will proablybuy food. I would also buy toys. I would buy lighters. I© Milwaukee Public Schools 251

could buy all of these things because I would have a holelot of money.I would bring gas because I could put it in my car. Icould also start a fire for me when I camp out. I will lewarm with the fire going. my car would keep on movingbecause of the gas I would bring. I would never have toostop at a gas station intill I run out of gas in my gas tank.These are the three things I would bring on my trip.I will have a fun time on my trip. It will be a good time. Iwon't bring anything else on my trip. I can't wait to go onmy super fun trip.© Milwaukee Public Schools 252

Score = 2+ (Basic)YesSample GMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea Communicated+ Ideas sufficiently organized &developedNot YetEvidence of author’s response +to the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicatedIdeas well organizedWeaknesses:Little personal relationship with the writing pieceSome run-on sentencesFocus of Instruction:Work on writing introductions and conclusion thatare not restatements of the main ideaDevelop relationship with writing by addingexperience or examplesStudent Comments:I can see that you really want to bring yourskateboard. I would like to know why you like ridingyour skateboard and some examples of tricks you door how it feels would add to your piece. Pick strongwords to paint a picture for your reader.Teacher Comments:Mini-lesson on combining sentence and sentencevariety/beginnings.Adding personal experience to the writing.© Milwaukee Public Schools 253

Samples of 4th Grade WritingSample H-1© Milwaukee Public Schools 254

Sample HIf I was going on a trip and I can only take 3 things I wouldtake a lap top with 1 long lasting battery, a cell phone and money.The reason why I would take a lap top is so I havesomething to do in the car. I also found a really cool web site thatI would play on. Then I would turn it off s the battary doesnit goout. lap tops are cool because they have long lasting batterys. Idont have 1 yet. but in saving up to get 1.The reason why I would take a cell phane is so that I cancall my friends when I gone. it also has lots of games like pac man,pool, slar wars, pinball and bots more. I love cell phones.The reason why I would take money is so that I can buyfood and water. I would take $50.00. I would keep counting it. Iwould by candy with that momey.Those are all the things I would take on my trip. This is thebest trip ever, I want to go on another trip like that. I cant wait.That is all I have to say.© Milwaukee Public Schools 255

Score = 2+ (Basic)YesSample HMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea CommunicatedNot YetIdeas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicatedOccasional capitalization, punctuation, andgrammar errorsWeaknesses:Sentences that are not on topic ( laptops are coolbecause they have long lasting batteries)Lack of sentence variety (the reason why…, … isreally cool)Focus of Instruction:Develop word choice and sentence varietyWork on writing introductions and conclusion thatare not restatements of the main ideaEliminate sentences that are off topicStudent Comments:I clearly understood why you chose your 3 items butas a reader I want to know more. Hook your readerby grabbing their attention with your lead. Thinkabout making your writing stronger by adding moredetails such as: What things will you buy with your moneybesides candy? What kind of candy?Look at your word choice and see if you can usestronger words to paint a better picture for yourreader.Teacher Comments:Stretching ideas by adding pertinent detailsUse of descriptive words.© Milwaukee Public Schools 256

Samples of 4th Grade WritingSample I-1© Milwaukee Public Schools 257

Sample IThree things I would bring on my trip.If there were three things I would bring on my tripI would bring my PS2, my hairbrush, and my CD player.Those are three things I would bring on my trip. I wouldof thought of more but those are three things I like.The reason why I would bring my PS2 is becauseeach time I would get bored I would be able to play myPS2 and the game I would play would be Marykate andAshley driving lessons. I have other games like Pac-manworld 1 and 2 but I will just stick with Marykate andAshley. My cousin Nickolas would also like playing with myPS2 when we go visit him in Florida. Thats my first thingI would bring on my trip.The reason why I picked my hairbrush is becausewhen my gets messed up I can brush my hair so that I© Milwaukee Public Schools 258

don't look like a slobe. Thats why I would bring my purplehairbrush. Everywhere I go I always have to bring myhairbrush. Thats my second thing I would bring on mytrip.The reason why I picked my CD player is because Ican listen to music on the way to Florida. And I can listento whatever I want. Also I can turn it up as loud as Iwant with headphones. Thats the third thing I wouldbring on my trip.Those are the three things I would bring on my trip.I will repeat all three things I would bring on my tripagain my PS2, my hairbrush, and my CD player. Those arethe three things I would bring on every trip.© Milwaukee Public Schools 259

Score = 2 (Basic)YesSample IMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea CommunicatedNot YetIdeas sufficiently organized & +developedEvidence of author’s response +to the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Main idea communicated, ideas sufficientlyorganizedWeaknesses:Occasional incorrect language usageSome run-on sentencesAuthor’s personality not imprinted in introductionand conclusionLack of sentence variety (the reason why…)Focus of Instruction:Creating an introduction and conclusion that arenot a summary of the pieceEliminating run-on sentencesStudent Comments:It is clear to the reader the items you are bringing andwhy. Is there a way for you to begin and end yourparagraphs in different ways? How can you makeyour personality come out in the story? What does a“slob” look like?Teacher Comments:Mini-lessons on transition sentences and paragraphbeginnings.© Milwaukee Public Schools 260

Samples of 4th Grade WritingSample J-1© Milwaukee Public Schools 261

Sample JI am going on a trip, and I am going to a hotel for myvacation. It's going to be really fun.I am going to bring clothes. Clothes is the main thingyou have to bring. I am going to bring my swimsuit if Iwant to swim in the swimming pool. And my dress so if Iwant to look pretty for someplace. And shoses because itwould be for my dress.I am going to bring toys and other stuff so Iwoulden't get bored. I'm going to bring my polly pocketsto play with. I am going to use my crayons to color in mycoloring book.I'm going to bring flowers to my grandpa's funeral.I'm going to bring roses, daisies and sunflowers to thefuneral. They will be so pretty there.It'll be fun and sad, but it is worth it.© Milwaukee Public Schools 262

Score = 2 (Basic)Sample JStrengths:Ideas organizedMPS Writing Rubric – FormativeYes+ Main Idea CommunicatedNot YetIdeas sufficiently organized & +developedEvidence of author’s response +to the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionWeaknesses:Conventions (capitalization, punctuation, andgrammar)Lack of sentence varietyOff topic ideasFocus of Instruction:Creating sentence variety and developing ideas insentencesEliminating “and” at the beginning of sentencesEliminating off topic ideas.Student Comments:The reader understands that you are going on a trip,but for what purpose? Is it for a vacation or afuneral? Reread your sentences. Do they begin indifferent ways? Are they complete thoughts?Teacher Comments:Mini-lessons on sentence fluency. Have students useself-assessment checklist to look for consistency ofon-topic idea.© Milwaukee Public Schools 263

Samples of 4th Grade WritingSample K© Milwaukee Public Schools 264

Sample KI am going on a trip to South Dakota for myvacation. It will be really fun.For my first object I would bring a book because it's along way. I love books to. Book's my mind of the road.Books a real good thing to bring.The main most special thing I would bring would beclothes. But South Dakota is one day to get there andone day to get back. South Dakota is very hot so mabeyou should bring som flip flops and swimming suit just incase there's hotel with a pool.I would bring binoculars just because there aregreat views of South Dakota. For example Crazy Horse,Mount Rushmore, and beautiful views with horses and© Milwaukee Public Schools 265

afalo. The thing I would bring would be a book,binoculars, and clothes.Score = 2 (Basic)YesSample KMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea CommunicatedNot YetIdeas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStrengths:Solid introductionIdeas sufficiently organizedWeaknesses:Some problems with spelling, punctuation, andgrammarWord choiceSentence fragmentsPoor conclusion.Focus of Instruction:Elaborate on ideas (South Dakota is one day thereand one day back. Does that mean you need a lotof clothes?)Better word choice (replace “The main mostspecial things”)Improving the conclusion.Student Comments:I was excited to see you mentioning specific details inyour writing like..”flip-flops, Crazy Horse and MountRushmore.” I think if you add details in other placesyou would greatly improve your paper. For example, What kind of books do you like to read? How do they help pass the time?You could also try and re-write your conclusion tomake it stronger.Teacher Comments:Mini-lessons on adding details to writing, conclusionsand word choice.© Milwaukee Public Schools 266

Samples of 5th Grade WritingYour teacher will be gone for the day. You have been chosen as the substitute.What are your plans for the day?Sample I-1© Milwaukee Public Schools 267

Samples of 5th Grade WritingSample I-2© Milwaukee Public Schools 268

Sample ITommorow I substitute for Room 25 at Tippecanoe. I’ve gotto finish up my lesson plans The teacher, Mr. Stark, left it totallyopen. The only thing I know is the times of the specials, Buddiesand Art. Other than that, I just have to have a few activiteslined up. But, lazy me left it to the last minute.The students come in at 7:45. While their coming in, theywill need something to do. I could have them free draw. From7:45-8:45, that way, all the students will have been in theclassroom, and they could have time to finish one, if not twodrawings. I guess they will need to go to the bathroom by now, sowe could take a bathroom break next. I’ll give 15-20 minuts forthat, since art starts at 9:00.They will be in art from 9:00 – 10:40. That gives me time torelax in the teacher’s lounge, read a book, do whatever. Then I’llgo and get them, so they can be to lunch by 10:45. After they’veeaten, I’ll take them to recess, to burn off some energy. Regular© Milwaukee Public Schools 269

ecess goes to 11:30. If the kids are good, maybe I’ll let themhave an extra recess to 1:00. If they don’t earn it, the can freewrite until 1:00.After recess and extra recess the kids will need to quietdown. Buddies should do the trick. From 1:15-2:00 the childrenwill read to their buddies. I won’t ask them to do any homework,unless, they want to finish a sketch from the morning.That’s a pretty good day of school for the kids, if I do sayso myself. It should still feel pretty good to get home for themthough. After all they did have a sub, even it was me. I just hopethe kids will respect me. I’ve had classes that don’t. Well, I’ve goto stop worring and get some sleep. Whatever happens, I wan’t tobe well rested.© Milwaukee Public Schools 270

Score = 3 (Proficient)Sample IYour teacher will be gone for the day. Youhave been chosen as the substitute. What areyour plans for the day?MPS Writing Rubric – FormativeStrengths:OrganizationWord ChoiceVoiceSentence FluencyIdeas developedWeaknesses:Lack of relevant detailsYesNot Yet+ Main Idea CommunicatedIdeas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Focus of Instruction:Expand on writing by adding specific,relevant details+ Appropriate word choice &usage+ Adequate sentence sense &minimal sentence errors+ Occasional errors in capitalization,punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStudent Comments:I really heard your voice in this piece of writing andyou did a good job of responding to the prompt andstaying organized.Are their places in your writing that you could bemore detailed about what your plans are? Forinstance, what will the children do in art? Whywould you choose for students to free write or freedraw? Could you describe one of your experiencesof not being respected?Teacher Comments:Using a graphic organizer for each part of the dayand then adding details might help this childstrengthen this piece.© Milwaukee Public Schools 271

Samples of 5th Grade WritingYour teacher will be gone for the day. You have been chosen as the substitute.What are your plans for the day?Sample K© Milwaukee Public Schools 272

Sample KOkay what sould I do I have to sub for Starky. Well I could doboring school (nah). Lets have all day recess no. How about apizza party no. Umm how about a movie and icecream. Yah a movieand ice cream I can’t wait to see thare faceses. It will be thebest.Wow This is the coolst we get to watch a movie. You also get icecream. This is the collest thing ever. What were is the teacher(Starky). He is not here and im the sub. You are to young to bethe sub. Well at least you get a movie and ice cream. No sit andwatch the movieWell I thank you very much for helping me. We all had a greattime. We watched James and The giant peach, and Harry potterand the prisoner of azkabam. Then they started calling meStarky asking to go to the bathroom. Then we had a normal day.We had Lunch, then gym, and art, music sciene. It was fun but inthe future I think I’ll hav a normal day.© Milwaukee Public Schools 273

Score = 2 (Basic)Sample KYour teacher will be gone for the day. Youhave been chosen as the substitute. What areyour plans for the day?YesMPS Writing Rubric – Formative+ Main Idea CommunicatedNot YetIdeas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)Appropriate word choice & +usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsStrengths:Addresses the promptSome evidence of voiceWeaknesses:OrganizationSentence FluencyIdeas underdevelopedConventionFocus of Instruction:Use of graphic organizer to organize ideasDevelopment of ideasSentence combinationOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStudent Comments:You did a pretty good job of “hooking” me in as areader but I kept wanting more details.I really wanted to know more about the plans. Couldyou tell me more about what you might do besideseat ice cream and watch a movie? What is a “normalday”? How do you think students would react if theysat and watched movies all day?Teacher Comments:This author really needs to stretch their ideas.Teaching the students how to list possible ideas andthen organize them would be helpful.Combining sentence activities would also bebeneficial.© Milwaukee Public Schools 274

Samples of 5th Grade WritingYour teacher will begone for the day. Youhave been chosen as thesubstitute. What areyour plans for the day?Sample L-1© Milwaukee Public Schools 275

Samples of 5th Grade WritingSample L-2© Milwaukee Public Schools 276

Sample LHuray!!Yay!We’re free! Our teacher is absent for the day and leftme in charge. They say teachers are supposed to be smart.Anyway today is gonna be a blast. Yes in my class “gonna” is aword. Now it’s time for…..morning work. Very exciting, don’t youthink. I mean come on I might be a 10 year old sub but we stillhave to do something educational! The law requires us to. It’sjust the regular “organize your desk, English pg. 94 #s 13-24,then finaly read silently. “Hold on. Every body done?!? YES!!!Okay next thing to do on our agenda …..Phy.Ed(physicaleducation(gym)). Time for dodgeball. The rules are hit themanywhere they’re out. Catch the ball and one of your teamatescan get back in. Final rule is be as brutal as possible. Justkidding. You can’t pass the half court line. Ready set go! Whydid I pick phy.ed.? Well because it challenges you physically. (1hour and 45 minutes later) Sorry to say class but phy.ed. is OVER!Here is something fun and maybe educational…..D.E.A.R.! It might© Milwaukee Public Schools 277

e educational if you’re reading a non-fiction book. Reading is fun.That’s why I made the whole class read for 45 minutes. Whenyou read you learn fake or fact. Of corse 10:45 always meanslunch. Lunch is for refueling the child’s mind. Plus there’s alwaysrecess. 11:30 can only mean one thing…..art! Teachers are alwaystrying to say something like art is educational. I’m just trying tofollow the pros. 12:30 is Writer’s Workshop. We must havewriter’s workshop if we want to become proficent writers. Nowtime for extra recess. You know what that means KICKBALL!Extra recess is because it’s the end of the day and everybodyneeds to run around more. The best part of the day is goinghome. (Teacher(me!!) See you tommrow class. (class) Thanks forthe warning! Flushhhh. Well my career just went down the toilet!© Milwaukee Public Schools 278

Score = 3 (Proficient)Sample LYour teacher will be gone for the day. Youhave been chosen as the substitute. What areyour plans for the day?MPS Writing Rubric – FormativeStrengths:Strong voiceWell-organizedGreat word choiceIdeas developedWeaknesses:Sentence FluencyYesNot Yet+ Main Idea Communicated+ Ideas sufficiently organized &developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)+ Appropriate word choice &usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsFocus of Instruction:Sentence structure & combining sentencesOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionStudent Comments:You did a good job of responding to the prompt andyour voice is evident.Your writing was organized and took me through theday.Could you find a way to combine some of yourthoughts and sentences? Remember how we learnedto connect sentences using linking words.Teacher Comments:Sentence combining.© Milwaukee Public Schools 279

Samples of 5th Grade WritingYour teacher will begone for the day. Youhave been chosen as thesubstitute. What areyour plans for the day?Sample M© Milwaukee Public Schools 280

Sample M“…And that is how to disect a raspberry. Class is dismissed.Oh! Before I forget, Melaine, stay after class.” BRING! BRING!“Don’t forget to do your homework!”“Um, Ms. Lilythelongtailedrat, why did you need me to stayhere after school?”“Huh? Oh! I’m going to a conference in Albany today, and Iwon’t be back until Tuesday. I want you to teach my class onMonday. Okay?”“I guess I could if.”“Great!”“Um, Ms. Lilythelongtailedrat, we have.”“Got to get going!”“(sigh)we have off on Monday. Ms. Lilythelongtailedrat?Hello? Hmmm…she must have left allready. Oh well. I guess It© Milwaukee Public Schools 281

might be fun to write out a lesson plan. Lets see..I’ll do a cookingclass! Everyone can make sushi! Or tacos. It’ll just be sushi.Everyone in this class likes shushi! Better get to work or this’llnever get done! I’ve got to write out recipes and plan out a daylongspeech and practice presentation…there’s so much to do!Plus, I have to do homework – but I just don’t see how dissectinga raspberry is going to help me in the future.”“I hope this works! Maybe she’ll remember the randompresentation this time because she thinks shes going to be theteacher on Monday. I hope she forgot about the three-dayweekend so she’ll work extra hard and get an A+!”© Milwaukee Public Schools 282

Teacher ResourcesScore = 2 (Basic)Sample MYour teacher will be gone for the day. Youhave been chosen as the substitute. What areyour plans for the day?Strengths:Evidence of voiceWord choiceYesMPS Writing Rubric – FormativeNot YetMain Idea Communicated +Ideas sufficiently organized & +developed+ Evidence of author’s responseto the writing task (voice)+ Appropriate word choice &usageAdequate sentence sense & +minimal sentence errorsOccasional errors in capitalization, +punctuation and spelling do notimpair comprehensionWeaknesses:Ideas underdevelopedOrganizationFocus of Instruction:Use of graphic organizers to add detailsTransition wordsStudent Comments:Your introduction wanted me to read more. I wasintrigued but I kept waiting for you to tell me more.Could you help the reader along by adding in writingthat isn’t conversation or thought?It was sometimes confusing to figure out who wastalking or thinking.Teacher Comments:Work with this student on organizing his/herthoughts by using a graphic organizer.Transition paragraphs would also be useful© Milwaukee Public Schools 283

Writing PromptsPrimary Prompts - The purposes of the prompts are for teachers to use asspringboards when teaching the writing process, and to help prepare students for ondemandwriting assessments. Teachers can use the prompts to guide students through theentire process or only focus on those stages students find difficult. These may also beused as prompts to assess strengths and weaknesses of students’ writing, and then toinform instruction. Prompts that are starred (**) can be used for on-demand assessmentwhile prompts marked with an (I) may require some explanation and/or instruction beforethe student addresses the prompt.1.**2.I3.**4.**5.**6.**7.I8.I9.I10.**11.**12.**13.I14.**15.I16.I17.**18.IIf you could have any pet, what would it be? Write a story about looking for andfinding the perfect pet.Winter, spring, summer or fall. Which is your favorite time of year? Write a storyabout your favorite season.Make a wish. Write about the wish you made. Tell why you chose it, and how itwill change your life.Tell about the best day of your life.Tell about the worst day of your life.Tell about a fieldtrip you have gone on.Think about a friend. Write a story about a time this friend helped you out.A new student came to your class. Describe how you would make her/himfamiliar with the school.There are many school activities we enjoy. Describe your favorite activity and tellwhy you like it.Everyone likes a surprise. Tell about a time a surprise made you happy.Your friend fell and broke her/his leg and is sad. Explain how you would cheer upyour friend.On your walk home (from school or your bus stop) a puppy follows you home.Explain what you would do with the puppy.You have just been chosen as a student of the month. Explain why you think theteacher has chosen you.We all have a favorite place. Describe your favorite place and tell why you like it.There are seven days in a week. What is your favorite day of the week and why?There are twelve months of the year. Describe your favorite month.You have just had your best day at school. Tell about what has made your day sowonderful.You wake up and its sunny and 85 degrees outside. Describe your day frombeginning to end.© Milwaukee Public Schools284

Writing Prompts19.I20.**You are home without your parents. Describe your day and what you do to makeyourself feel better.A friend from another school asks you what you do in your classroom. Describe atypical day in you classroom.21. Your class has just earned a party. You have been chosen to plan it. What plans** do you have for the party?22. You are told that on Friday afternoon there will be free time in the classroom. You** can choose your own activities. Describe your afternoon.23. You have a chance to work at the zoo. What animal do you want to help and why?I24. Tell a story about something that has happened in your neighborhood.**25. A blizzard hits Milwaukee. You are stranded at school for the night. Write a storyI about what happened.26. Everyone has a hero. Write an essay describing your hero and tell why that personI is your hero.27. Write a story about a time when you were really angry.**28. Write about one thing that you are afraid of and tell why it makes you afraid.**29. Describe a present that you have received that you really liked and tell why you** liked it.30. Dreams can be scary or funny. Describe a dream that you had recently and tell** how it made you feel.31. Sometimes friends can upset us. Write about a time when a friend upset you.**32. Visiting relatives can be fun. Tell about a time when you visited a relative and had** a good time.33. Tell about things you can do inside during bad weather.34. Everyone has a favorite summer activity. Describe your favorite summer activityI and tell why you like it.35. Your favorite store has awarded you a shopping spree. You have fifteen minutesI to shop. Explain what you would buy and why.36. Tell about the best day you have spent at a playground or park.**37. Write about a stressful time in your life.I38. School can be fun. Describe an activity at your school that you enjoy the most.**39. First impressions are not always correct. Think about a time when your firstI impression of someone was not correct.40. Each of us has our favorite time of the day whether its morning, noon, or night.I Name your favorite time of the day and describe why you like this time of day.41. Pick a story that your teacher has read to you and write a different ending for theI story.© Milwaukee Public Schools285

Writing PromptsGrade 3 Through Grade 5 Narrative PromptsIntermediate Prompts - The purposes of the prompts are for teachers to use asspringboards when teaching the writing process, and to help prepare students for ondemandwriting assessments. Teachers can use the prompts to guide students through theentire process or only focus on those stages students find difficult. These may also beused as prompts to assess strengths and weaknesses of students’ writing, and then toinform instruction. Prompts that are starred (**) can be used for on-demand assessmentwhile prompts marked with an (I) may require some explanation and/or instruction beforethe student addresses the prompt.1. Write a story about what happened when somebody you know broke a rule.**2. Write a story about a time you did something you wish you had done differently.I3. Write a story about how you might help someone in yourI neighborhood/community who is in need.4. Is there a special place you’ve always dreamed of visiting? Write a story about a** dream vacation to your special place.5. You’ve just won a million dollars in a contest! Write a story about what you willI do with the money.6. It’s nice to receive gifts, but sometimes it feels even better to give them. Write a** story about a time you gave someone a special gift.7. Write a story about a special celebration/party you’ve experienced.**8. Tell about the best day of your life.**9. Tell about the worst day of your life.**10. Describe a fieldtrip you’d like to take and why you’d like to take it.**11. Imagine meeting your favorite celebrity. Write a story about meeting this personI and how you’ll spend the day.12. Think about you favorite T.V. show. Write a new episode for the show.I13. Most people own a television. Explain how you would survive a day without a** television.14. Write about the time when you had a disagreement/argument with someone and** how you solved the problem.15. Small children need help doing things. Describe a time you helped someone** younger than you to do something.16. Think of a time something funny happened to you. Describe it in a way that** makes the reader want to laugh.17. Accomplishing our goals makes us feel good about ourselves. Write about how** you worked hard at reaching a goal.18. You have just been chosen as a student of the month. Explain why you think theI teacher has chosen you.© Milwaukee Public Schools286

Writing PromptsGrade 3 Through Grade 5 Narrative PromptsIntermediate Prompts - The purposes of the prompts are for teachers to use asspringboards when teaching the writing process, and to help prepare students for ondemandwriting assessments. Teachers can use the prompts to guide students through theentire process or only focus on those stages students find difficult. These may also beused as prompts to assess strengths and weaknesses of students’ writing, and then toinform instruction. Prompts that are starred (**) can be used for on-demand assessmentwhile prompts marked with an (I) may require some explanation and/or instruction beforethe student addresses the prompt.19.**20.**21.**22.I23.**24.**25.**26.**27.**28.**29.**30.**31.**32.**33.**34.**Your teacher has asked you to plan a field trip. Describe where you would go andwhat you would do.You wake up and its sunny and 85 degrees outside. Describe your day frombeginning to end.You are home without your parents. Describe your day and what you do to makeyourself feel better.You have just finished reading your favorite book. You did not like the ending.Rewrite the ending.Your teacher will be gone for the day. You have been chosen as the substitute.Write about your day.You get to spend two hours with your favorite adult. Name the person anddescribe how you would spend the two hours.You are told that on Friday afternoon there will be free time in the classroom. Youcan choose your own activities. Describe your afternoon.Tell a story about something that has happened in your neighborhood.A blizzard hits Milwaukee. You are stranded at school for the night. Write a storyabout what happened.Everyone has an important person in her or his life. Write an essay about animportant person in your life. Tell who the person is and why she or he isimportant to you.Everyone has a hero. Write an essay describing your hero and tell why that personis your hero.Sometimes things happen at school that we cannot forget. Write a real life storyabout something that happened at school that you will never forget.We all get angry. Write a story about a time when you are really angry.Everyone has had a time when she or he felt disappointed or let down. Writeabout a time when you felt disappointed.Write an essay about one thing that you are afraid and tell why it makes you afraid.Describe a present that you have received that you really liked and tell why youliked it.© Milwaukee Public Schools287

Writing PromptsGrade 3 Through Grade 5 Narrative PromptsIntermediate Prompts - The purposes of the prompts are for teachers to use asspringboards when teaching the writing process, and to help prepare students for on-demandwriting assessments. Teachers can use the prompts to guide students through the entire processor only focus on those stages students find difficult. These may also be used as prompts toassess strengths and weaknesses of students’ writing, and then to inform instruction. Promptsthat are starred (**) can be used for assessment while prompts marked with an (I) may requiresome explanation and/or instruction before the student addresses the prompt.35.I36.**37.**38.I39.**40.I41.**42.**43.**44.**45.**46.**47.**48.**49.I50.I51.IMost people can remember a time when they had to make a difficult decision.Write about a time when you had to make a difficult decision.Embarrassing events can happen to anyone. Describe your most embarrassingmoment.Write about what role music plays in your life.We all need help at some point in our lives. Describe a time when you needed andreceived help from someone.Sometimes friends can upset us. Write about a time when a friend upset you.Everyone has a favorite school subject. Name your favorite subject and tell whyyou like it.You have just found out that you have to move far away. Write a letter to yourbest friend telling her/him how you feel about moving.Write a story about a stressful time in your life.We all spend our evenings in different ways. Describe a typical evening in yourlife.Everyone has had success at doing something. Talk about something that youhave done lately that was very successful.Helping other people can make us feel good about ourselves. Tell about a timethat you helped someone and how it made you feel.Each of us has a hidden talent that might not be displayed at school. Name yourhidden talent and tell how you use it.Life is full of surprises. Tell about a time when you were surprised.You have decided to write your own autobiography. Write a story about one of thechapters of your life.Everyone’s family is unique and special. Write a story about a special memory ofyour family that shows just how special it really is.Imagine that you are stranded on a desert island with just one other person. Writeabout one of your adventures.Write a story about something happening in your school or community.© Milwaukee Public Schools288

Writing PromptsIntermediate Prompts - The purposes of the prompts are for teachers to use asspringboards when teaching the writing process, and to help prepare students for on-demandwriting assessments. Teachers can use the prompts to guide students through the entire processor only focus on those stages students find difficult. These may also be used as prompts toassess strengths and weaknesses of students’ writing, and then to inform instruction. Promptsthat are starred (**) can be used for on-demand assessment while prompts marked with an (I)may require some explanation and/or instruction before the student addresses the prompt.52.**53.**54.**55.I56.**57.I58.I59.**60.IFriends are very important in our lives. Write about a special time you’ve spentwith one of your friends.Think about a friend who has been an important part in your life. How did youbecome friends with this person? Write a story about this friendship.All of us have a favorite place where we get to do what we want. What is yourfavorite place? Write a story about what you get to do in your favorite place.Think of a time when you achieved a personal goal. Write the story of how youmet your goal.You find a page torn from a short story that has only two lines: “That’s how Ibecame known as a ‘Hero’. THE END.” Create a story that could still end withthis page.Think about people who know or have met. Choose ONE person who has made abig difference in your life. Write about that person AND describe his or herpositive effect on your life.Think about a special object you own. Write a story about this special item, tellinghow you got it and what it means to you.Pretend that you have received a message from a friend asking you to visit him/herbut that you are unable to go. Write a letter to the friend about the situation that iskeeping you from visiting.We do some silly things when we are little. Tell about a time you did somethingreally silly as a toddler.© Milwaukee Public Schools289

AppendixPrimary Checklist for Narrative WritingName: _______________________Title of Writing: __________________________________Things to CheckStudentPeerTeacherIdeasCan the reader tell what the story is about?Did the writer include enough details?Did all the details stick to the topic?OrganizationIs there a beginning that grabs the reader’s attention?Is the writing organized with a beginning, middle, and end?Does the writing stay on topic?VoiceDid the writer’s personality come out in the writing piece?Word ChoiceDid the writer use words that “paint a picture” for the reader?Did the writer use action words?Did the writer use specific words?© Milwaukee Public Schools290

AppendixPrimary Checklist for Narrative WritingName: _______________________Title of Writing: __________________________________Things to CheckStudentPeerTeacherSentence FluencyDid the writer use complete sentences? (No fragments or run-ons)Did the writer use a variety of sentence beginnings?Did the writer have a variety of sentences?ConventionsDid the writer check for misspelled words?Did the writer follow capitalization rules?Did the writer use correct punctuation?Is the final copy neatly handwritten or word-processed (legible)?Additional spaces provided for teachers to insert skills taught based on their own instruction.© Milwaukee Public Schools291

AppendixIntermediate Checklist for Narrative WritingName: _______________________Title of Writing: __________________________________Things to CheckStudentPeerTeacherIdeasIs the main idea clearly communicated?Did the writer include enough details?Did all the details stick to the topic?OrganizationIs there an interesting lead that grabs the reader’s attention?Did the paragraph(s) contain a topic sentence?Is the writing organized? (Paragraphs)Did the writing make sense and is it easy to read?(smoothtransitions)Did the writing have a strong conclusion?If there is dialogue in the writing, is it clear who is talking?Additional spaces provided for teachers to insert skills taught based on their owninstruction.© Milwaukee Public Schools292

AppendixIntermediate Checklist for Narrative WritingName: _______________________ Title of Writing:___________________________Things to CheckStudentPeerTeacherVoiceDid the writer address the audience?Did the writer’s voice match the purpose?Is the author’s voice imprinted in the writing piece?Word ChoiceDid the writer use words that “paint a picture” for the reader?Did the writer use strong, active verbs?Did the writer use specific words?Sentence FluencyDid the writer use complete sentences? (No fragments or run-ons)Did the writer use a variety of sentence beginnings?Did the writer have a variety of sentences?ConventionsDid the writer check for misspelled words?Did the writer follow capitalization rules?Did the writer use correct punctuation?Is the final copy neatly handwritten or word-processed (legible)?Additional spaces provided for teachers to insert skills taught based on their owninstruction.© Milwaukee Public Schools293

AppendixRevision and Editing Symbols© Milwaukee Public Schools294

AppendixTransition or Linking WordsTransitions are words that help tie words together.Words which can be used to show location:above around between inside outsideacross behind by into overagainst below down near throughoutalong beneath in back of off to the rightamong beside in front of on top of underWords which can be used to show time:about during until yesterday finallyafter first meanwhile next thenat second today soon as soon asbefore third tomorrow later whenWords which can be used to compare two things:in the same way likewise as similarly likealsoWords that can be used to contrast things: (show differences)but otherwise on the other although yethandhowever still even thoughWords which can be used to emphasize a point:again for this reason in fact of course above allin the first placeWords which can be used to add information:again and for instance as well alsobesides next along with another for examplefinally yet another in additionWords which can be used to conclude or summarize:as a result finally in conclusion therefore lastin summary lastly and so© Milwaukee Public Schools295

Appendix100 Savvy “Said” Substitutionsaccused added admittedagreed announced answeredapologized argued askedassured babbled barkedbawled begged bellowedblubbered blurted boastedboomed bragged breathedcackled called cautionedchallenged chanted chatteredcheered chirped chokedchuckled claimed commandedcomplained continued contributedcoughed crabbed decideddeclared demanded discussedechoed enjoyed exaggeratedexclaimed explained explodedexpressed greeted groanedgrowled grumbled gruntedgulped hinted hissedhollered howled indicatedinquired insisted interjectedinterrogated interrupted jabberedjeered joked laughedmarveled mentioned moanedmouthed mumbled murmuredmuttered nodded notedobserved persisted persuadedpleaded predicted proclaimedpromised pronounced questionedrambled replied reportedresponded screamed screechedshouted shrieked teaseduttered wailed whimperedwhinedGreat Genre Writing Lesson Scholastic Professional Books© Milwaukee Public Schools296

AppendixSparkling Synonym SheetBad: ghastly, rank, foul, despicable, detestable,obnoxious, heinous, gross, dismal, deplorable,putrid, sinister, wrong, outrageous, atrocious,horrible, nasty, cross, unpleasant, disagreeable,unsuitable, inappropriate, improper, faulty,imperfect, inferior, defective, unfavorable, harmful,spoiled, tainted, contaminated, rotten, wicked, evil,dangerous, viciousBeautiful: pretty, lovely, handsome, attractive,gorgeous, dazzling, splendid, magnificent,ravishing, graceful, elegant, fine, exquisite,pleasing, shapely, delicate, stunning, glorious,heavenly, radiant, glowing, sparklingBig: substantial, mammoth, astronomical, ample,broad, expansive, spacious, stout, tremendous,titanic, mountainous, enormous, huge, immense,gigantic, vast, colossal, gargantuan, large, sizeable,grand, great, tallGood: excellent, fine, respectable, superb, grand,top-notch, first-rate, worthy, noble, great, splendid,beneficial, superior, wonderful, marvelous, suited,suitable, proper, capable, generous, kindly, friendly,gracious, pleasant, agreeable, pleasurable,satisfactory, well-behaved, obedient, honorable,reliable, trustworthy, favorable, profitable,advantageous, righteous, helpful, genuine, ampleGreat: noteworthy, worthy, distinguished, mighty,much, powerful, considerable, grand, remarkableHappy: pleased, overjoyed, content, satisfied,delighted, elated, joyful, cheerful, ecstatic, jubilant,tickled, gratified, glad, grateful, blissfulHot: scalding, boiling, smoking, smoldering,stolen, scorching, burning, flamingImportant: necessary, vital, critical, indispensable,valuable, essential, significant, primary,considerable, famous, distinguished, notable, wellknownInteresting: fascinating, engaging, sharp, keen,bright, intelligent, animated, spirited, attractive,inviting, intriguing, provocative, thought-provoking,challenging, inspiring, moving, tantalizing, exciting,entertaining, lively, racy, spicy, engrossing,absorbing, consuming, gripping, arresting,enthralling, spellbinding, captivating, enchanting,bewitching, appealingLittle: tiny, small, shrimp, runt, miniature, puny,dinky, limited, itty-bitty, teeny-weeny, microscopic,slight, petite, minuteMad: furious, angry, enraged, indignant, inflamed,peevedOld: feeble, frail, ancient, aged, used, obsolete,stale, musty, archaic, traditional, primitive, mature,veteran, out-dated, old-fashioned, broken-down,faded, ragged, dilapidated, wornSad: unhappy, miserable, depressed, uncomfortable,wretched, heartbroken, unfortunate, downhearted,sorrowful, dejected, melancholy, glum, gloomy,dismal, discouragedScared: afraid, frightened, alarmed, terrified,panicked, fearful, insecure, timid, shy, skittish,jumpy, disquieted, worried, troubled, disturbed,horrified, apprehensive, petrified, shockedGreat Genre Writing Lessons Scholastic Professional Books© Milwaukee Public Schools297

AppendixStory LeadsLead:X the beginning, introduction, start, first impression of astoryAction Lead:X the reader is placed in a scene where characters are inaction, or doing somethingX uses verbsDescriptive Lead:X gives the reader “a picture” of what is happening in thestoryX uses adjectivesDialogue Leads:X places the reader into a conversation between two ormore charactersX uses spoken dialogueGreat Genre Writing Lesson Scholastic Professional Books© Milwaukee Public Schools298

AppendixSample Dialogue Lead“Mom, I’m home!” I yelled.“How was school today?” she hollered from the inside of thekitchen.“OK,” I retorted, not wanting to strike up a lengthyconversation. “If you don’t mind, I would like to curl up on thesofa and finish the book I’m reading.”“Not a problem, I promise to stay out of your way!” mymother replied.Shortly after beginning my journey into the wonderfulfantasy world of by book, I heard a low grumbling sound and feltsomething soft briefly touch my shoulders.“Mom, quit making jokes. I’m trying to finish this book!”There was no reply and I began to panic.“Mom? Mom!” I continued to yell as I charged up the stairs.“Where are you? Is everything OK?”I ran straight for her bedroom and into the closet where I feltI would be safe. My screams for my mother continued, however. Ibegan to hear the noise come closer and soon heard scratching atthe door.“Help me!”Great Genre Writing Lesson Scholastic Professional Books© Milwaukee Public Schools299

AppendixSample Descriptive LeadThe yellow school bus slowly crawled its way down tree-lined Anderson Street.Finally, it screamed to a stop, and Angus, our bus driver, pulled the door open withher knotty hands. I headed down the worn steps onto the gravel road and began myshort walk home. After arriving at our two-story colonial, I yanked open our stubbornburgundy front door and headed into the living room. Anxious to finish the book Ihad been reading for two weeks, I cleared a place on the comfy sofa. Not long aftercurling up and beginning to read, I heard a low grumbling sound. Goosebumps slowlyslithered up and down my spine.My blue eyes scanned the room for something intrusive. When I didn’t see anything,I tiptoed across the blue shag carpet towards the staircase. Knowing the stairs so well, it wasunnecessary to hold the banister as I headed upstairs. Making a sharp left at the top of thestaircase, the first place I thought to hide was my parents’ walk-in closet. After openingthe door, I slid inside and crouched under a row of dresses. Not long after closing thedoor, I heard the grumbling sound coming closer – and soon the scratching began.Sample Action LeadAs soon as the school bus squealed and huffed its final sounds, I leaped off anddarted toward my house. After yanking open the burgundy front door, I ran insideand threw myself on the couch. Today was the day I would finally finish my book.Not long after beginning to read, I heard a low grumbling sound. Fear ripped thoughme like wind blowing across the pond.Looking around and panting heavily, I charged up the stairs and into myparents’ bedroom. Noticing that their closet door was open and realizing my timewas limited, I leaped in and slammed the door shut. Not long after closing thedoor, I heard the grumbling sound coming closer – and soon the scratching began.Great Genre Writing Lesson Scholastic Professional Books

Appendix

AppendixSuper-Star ColorsSome juicy color words don't fit into any specific color family.They are unusual blends we recognize from the world around us.These colors are so awesome, so dazzling, that they stand-alone!We call these super-star colors, and they're a great addition to descriptive writing.peppermintchocolate chippimento cheesetransparentblack cherryglow-in-the-darkmirrortapestryplaidopalpolka dotblacklightstripedtortoiserainbowdalmatiancamouflagehologramconfettimultitutti-i-fruitiNeapolitanstained glassmother-of-pearliridescentDay-GloglittercalicoSkin Tonesivorypeaches ’n creambronzecafe-au-laitmahoganyebonyJewel TonesdiamondemeraldsapphiretopazrubycitrineRazzle Dazzle Writing

AppendixYoung Author’s List of Sensory WordsSightblack & white dark hazy psychedelic stripedbright dull large round swayingbrilliant faded light shaded swirlingcloudy flapping misty spotted texturedcolored flashing murky square translucentSoundbaying clinking humming roaring splashingbeating crackling jangling rustling sputteringbooming crashing jingling scraping swishingbuzzing dripping meowing screeching tickingchiming grating moaning slurping wailingchugging growling mooing sneezing whinnyingTastebitter dry lemony rancid stalebubbly fishy moldy salty sugaryburnt fresh nutty smoky sweetbuttery garlicy oily sour tartcheesy gingery oniony spicySmellantiseptic flowery mildewy pungent saltycheesy fresh musky putrid sharpdank fruity musty rainy smokydecayed gassy new rancid strongdusty grassy old rosy wetTouchbristly furry moist sandy starchybrittle glassy nubby silky steamycottony gooey pleated slick stickycrusty gritty powdery slimy stiffdewy hairy puffy smooth velvetyRazzle Dazzle Writing

AppendixPosition WordsUse these lists for reference as you organize your paragraphs.Top to Bottom, Bottom to Top, Side to Sideabove below leading toacross from beneath middleagainst beside nearalong side of close to next toat the base of down overat the bottom of halfway topat the left in back of under, underneathat the right in front of upbehind inside uponNear to Far, Far to Nearabove beside midwayahead beyond neararound close next toat a distance far away outsideaway from forward topbehind halfway towardbeneathinsideDescriptive Writing

AppendixUse these lists for reference as you organize your essay.TIME ORDER WORDSafter before long immediately meanwhileafterward earlier instantly nextas finally just as soonat the same time first last thenbefore for a moment later untilGLUE WORDSafter because since wherealthough before so that whereveras even though though whileas if if unlessas long as in order that untilas though in order to whenever©Milwaukee Public Schools 305

AppendixStoryboardA storyboard is a graphic, sequential planning of a narrative. Students planmajor events of their stories and then sketch the events in the squaresprovided.©Milwaukee Public Schools 306

AppendixChain of EventsChain of Events can be used to plan the events in a story, the actions of acharacter or the steps in a procedure.Key questions that children can address are: What is the first step of theprocedure or the initiating event? How does one event lead to another?What is the final event or conclusion?©Milwaukee Public Schools 307

AppendixNarrative Graphic OrganizerIntroduction:B Who? What? Where? When?Why?EGINN©Milwaukee Public Schools 308

INGAppendixM Event 1 Event 2Event 3IDDLE(Use the five senses to describe your events)Conclusion:END©Milwaukee Public Schools 309

AppendixParagraph OrganizerBody Paragraph 1 Body Paragraph 2 Body Paragraph 3Topic Sentence Topic Sentence Topic SentenceDetails Details Details1. 1. 1.2. 2. 2.3. 3. 3.4. 4. 4.Concluding Sentence Concluding Sentence Concluding Sentence©Milwaukee Public Schools 310

AppendixEvent MapWhat happened?Where did it happen?When did it happen?EventMapWho was involved in theevent?How did it happen?Why did it happen?©Milwaukee Public Schools 311

AppendixWhat's the Big Idea?Narrow it Down: What's the Most Important Point?How do you know that's the most important idea? Write three examples or comments that support yourassertion that this is the most important idea. If they are quotes include the page number so you can refer toit later when writing about or discussing this idea.1.2.3.©Milwaukee Public Schools 312

Appendix©Milwaukee Public Schools 313

Appendix__________________________By:___________________________Date:1. A Picture of the Setting of the Story: My picture showsWHO,WHERE, AND WHEN.2. What happens First? 3. What happensNext?4. What happens After that? 5. Then?6. What happens at the end of the story?©Milwaukee Public Schools 314

AppendixMain Idea Organizer: Reading, Writing, Watching, ListeningSubjectWhat are youwiting about?SubjectDetailsDetail Detail Detail Examples Stories QuotationsExplanationsMain IdeaWhat are yousaying about thesubject?Main Idea©Milwaukee Public Schools 315

Teacher ResourcesTeacher Resources30 Nonfiction Book ReportsDeborah Rovin-MurphyScholastic75 Creative Ways to Publish Students WritingCherlyn SunflowerScholasticEffective Writing Instruction: The Six Traits Way!Sandy PeacockStaff Development ResourcesHow to Write an EssayGabriel ArquilevickTeacher Created MaterialsLet’s WriteCynthia M. StoweThe Center for Applied Research in EducationReading, Writing and Learning in ESLSuzanne F. PeregoyOwen F. BoyleLongmanThe Writing Teacher’s ToolboxCarol FrankCarson-Dellosa PublishingWriting Fabulous Sentences & ParagraphsJill NorrisEvan-MoorLiteracy TechniquesDavid BoothStenhouse PublishersGreat Genre Writing LessonsHeather ClaytonScholastic©Milwaukee Public Schools 316

Teacher ResourcesTeaching Writing with Picture Books as ModelsRosanne KurstedtScholasticISBN – 0439135-16825 Quick Mini-Lessons to Teach Narrative Writing: Classroom Tested Lessons withReproduciblesDave LeochkoScholasticISBN - 0439063965Teaching Narrative Writing: The Tools that Work for Every StudentLola M. SchaeferScholasticISBN- 0430117577Creating Writers through 6 Trait Writing Assessment and InstructionVicki SpandelPearsonISBN 0-205-41032-4Teaching Beginning WritingJo FitzpatrickCreative Teaching PressISBN 1-57471-531-3100 QuickwritesLinda RiefScholasticISBN 0-439-45877-3Lessons that Change WritersNancie AtwellHeinemann10 Easy Writing Lessons that Get Kids Ready for Writing AssessmentsMary RoseScholasticNarrative WritingCarol A. FeltsThe Mailbox25 Mini-Lessons for Teaching WritingAdele FidererScholastic©Milwaukee Public Schools 317

Teacher ResourcesLiteracy Techniques for Building Successful Readers and WritersDavid BoothStenhouse PublishersBrighten Up Boring Beginnings & Other Quick Writing LessonsLaura RobbScholasticNarrative WritingTara McCarthyScholastic40 Rubrics & Checklist to Assess Reading & Writing Grades 3-6Adele FidererScholastic35 Rubrics & Checklists to Assess Reading & Writing Grades K-2Adele FidererScholasticWriting Workshop: The Essential GuideRalph Fletcher and JoAnn PortalupiHeinemannWhat a Writer NeedsRalph FletcherHeinemannGrowing Up Writing: Mini-lessons for Emergent and Beginning WritersConnie Campbell Dierking and Sherra Ann JonesMaupin House©Milwaukee Public Schools 318

Teacher ResourcesThe Internet, including the MPS Portal, offers too many resources to list here. We havecompiled a small sampling of Websites we have found to be useful.National Council of Teachers of Englishwww.ncte.org/prog/writingNational Writing Projectwww.writingproject.orgLiteracy Matters Projectwww.literacymatters.orgReadWriteThinkwww.readwritethink.orgWriting Fixwww.writingfix.comWeb English Teacherwww.webenglishteacher.comKathy Schrock’s Guide for Educatorsschooldiscovery.com/schrockguide/Guide to Grammar and WritingGrammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammarNarrative Writingwww.leesummit.k12.mo.us/it/writing.htm#Narrative_WritingElementary Writingwww.bcps.org/offices/lis/curric/elem/ElemLa/elawriting.htmlScholastic Writingwww.teacher.scholastic.com/ilp/index.aspExplore Writingwww.42explore.com/writing.htmThe Writing Sitethewritingsite.org/resources/genreA Collection of Great Linkswww.ginnyhoover.com/sixtraits.htm©Milwaukee Public Schools 319

Teacher Resources©Milwaukee Public Schools 320