PANTERA - Sara Reinke

SARA REINKEday in Sepphoris, as the crowds had converged about him,reminding him of his home in Sidon, were gone. For the firsttime in his life, the presence of so many people, crowded intoso narrow a margin of space; the stark and looming walls ofthe buildings lining the streets; the clamor and din of themarket square in full swing left his uneasy.Every sight, smell and sound—each bark of suddenlaughter, fleeting fragment of conversation or jostle of anunfamiliar shoulder—left him shying closer and closer toMallus, his eyes wide, his heart racing. Everything remindedhim of the day of his attack; a whiff of salted fish set out ondisplay at a passing stand; a flutter of sunlight reflected off of aglass vessel someone held up to admire; a toddler squirming inhis mother’s grasp, wailing in indignant outrage. It was allfamiliar to him, and no longer in a fond or pleasant way. Thedeeper they drew into the bustling heart of the city, the morehis anxiety mounted, edging precariously toward outright andfrantic fear.When Mallus caught him by the arm, drawing him toan abrupt and unexpected halt in the crowd, Abdes jerked, hisbreath caught in a startled, alarmed gasp, his eyes wide. Mallus’brows lifted in concern. “Are you alright?”Someone shoved against Abdes as they passed him; hestumbled forward, hunching his shoulders, his pallor ashen.“I…I am fine,” he said, his voice hoarse and warbling.Mallus drew him aside, finding some semblance ofreprieve from the traffic beneath the cool, shadowed eaves of aportico. “No, you aren’t,” he said. “You’re shaking. Godsabove, lad, you’re as white as a shade. What is it? What’swrong?”“I’m fine,” Abdes said, meeting Mallus’ gaze,struggling to compose himself, to control the pounding of hisheart. “I just…the crowd, sir. The close quarters…the heat,sir.”Mallus look unconvinced. If they returned to thecitadel now, Seneca would know why. He and Mallus wouldboth think Abdes was weak; they would never again trust him36