1.She’s chok<strong>in</strong>g me. She’s really <strong>in</strong> there, f<strong>in</strong>gers on cartilage,mash<strong>in</strong>g my trachea and I can’t breathe, Maria th<strong>in</strong>ks. Shetruly can’t breathe, but she can’t br<strong>in</strong>g herself to care. Therewas a time <strong>in</strong> her life when <strong>this</strong> was new, when she was atleast as hot for be<strong>in</strong>g choked as Steph was for chok<strong>in</strong>g her,but now they’ve got an apartment together—a cat, goodlight<strong>in</strong>g—and Maria can’t even muster a shiver.She acts like she’s <strong>in</strong>to it. She’s thrash<strong>in</strong>g, hands atSteph’s wrists, pull<strong>in</strong>g. Not that hard, although Steph isprobably stronger than Maria, so it’s not like Maria couldphysically make Steph stop if <strong>this</strong> were for real. And she isturned on. She’s pressed up hard on Maria’s leg. Then oneof her hands is off Maria’s throat, at her own crotch, andSteph is gett<strong>in</strong>g herself off.Obviously, there’s an art to fak<strong>in</strong>g it. Anybody can tellthat a parade of porn star squeal<strong>in</strong>g and pant<strong>in</strong>g is justact<strong>in</strong>g, but conv<strong>in</strong>c<strong>in</strong>g somebody who loves you, who youdef<strong>in</strong>itely at least used to love, that you’re present andchok<strong>in</strong>g and hot for it, you k<strong>in</strong>d of have to make yourselfbelieve it. So Maria does.Her attention is on Steph’s f<strong>in</strong>gers at her throat, Steph’ssubstantial hips aga<strong>in</strong>st her own bony ones, Steph’s face.1
Now Steph’s eyes are closed but you can def<strong>in</strong>itely stillfuck <strong>this</strong> up. You can try to fake it but if you don’t conv<strong>in</strong>ceanybody, nobody gets off, and then you spend the afternoontalk<strong>in</strong>g about your relationship. The end part is great, thew<strong>in</strong>e and cuddl<strong>in</strong>g and stuff, but the hours of <strong>in</strong>securityand tears and feel<strong>in</strong>gs lead<strong>in</strong>g up to the reconciliation aretotally not worth it.Steph is com<strong>in</strong>g. She doesn’t really say anyth<strong>in</strong>g whenshe comes, or yell or make noises or anyth<strong>in</strong>g, but you canfeel her shoulders tense and then untense. They tense upreally hard. The first time they fucked, Maria was scaredthat Steph would pull a shoulder muscle.Then it’s Maria’s turn. She already knows she’s go<strong>in</strong>g tofake it. Maria’s relationship to her body, it’s a mess, she canbarely get it together to be naked <strong>in</strong> front of anybody, muchless get off with someone <strong>in</strong> the room. You’d th<strong>in</strong>k it wouldbe impossible to fake it, with junk like Maria’s got, but youcan. Maria knows some stuff about fak<strong>in</strong>g it. One timesomebody told her that when she came <strong>in</strong> their mouth, theycould tell she’d come because when that pre-come stuffturned <strong>in</strong>to regular come, it got saltier. But nobody toldSteph, because as soon as she’s been go<strong>in</strong>g down on Marialong enough for an orgasm to be plausible, Maria tensesup her own shoulders for a second and then releases them.Stupid, yeah. And immature. Maria has told Steph thatit’s easiest for her to get off from gett<strong>in</strong>g head, but the ma<strong>in</strong>reason she told Steph that is that when Steph is giv<strong>in</strong>gMaria head, she can’t tell the embarrass<strong>in</strong>g k<strong>in</strong>ky storiesshe th<strong>in</strong>ks Maria likes. Which also actually are k<strong>in</strong>d ofMaria’s fault.This k<strong>in</strong>d of makes Maria sound like an asshole. Thismanipulative, ly<strong>in</strong>g control freak who needs to be <strong>in</strong> chargeof everyth<strong>in</strong>g, doesn’t have any feel<strong>in</strong>gs, hates her girlfriend.But it’s just honesty. You fake orgasms because you want2 NEVADA
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