Stories from the Edge - Volunteer Now

some it looked as if the Time was Nigh. But such a frightening tactic assumes that those watching are perfectly healthyboth in mind and body."No one thought about those struggling to cope both in and out of the closet,” according to David McCartney. Hisexperience of medical experts alerting the gay community to the danger within, was cold and clinical. This was objectivescience. The object at the other end of the microsope or the end of the scalpel was just that - an object. No longer arehuman beings part of such a process. The natural scientist seeks truth. The objectivity is above and beyond subject's basicneed for tender loving care. "The humanity isforgotten somewhere along the line,” according“its flag was to be therainbow, the universalsymbol of unity”to David. The only gay people who take a steptowards protecting themselves are those withhigh grade self esteem. Most gay men in their30s and 40s and older have grown up in andcome through a society where they wereencouraged to hide their homosexuality.Despite the 300 year old claims of theEnlightenment to reject traditional authorityand embrace a humanist perspective, gay menare still victims of dogma. Heterosexualmarriage is the highest value. To be gay was to be a freak, a deviant, perverse. The self image in the mirror is of a shatteredpersonality living the life of deception. Lack of self esteem resulted in high levels of depression and high rates of suicideamong the gay community. Many gay men suffer nervous breakdowns as run of the mill. Many hide their sexual orientationbecause of homophobia among their peer group. Ironically some of the virulent gay bashers are in reality closet gays clearlyin denial. Surveys suggest that a gay man is 70 times more likely to attempt suicide. This in turn can have a knock on effectby imposing suicide guilt on those who survived or are left bewildered and frightened. David McCartney has lost severalgay friends who tried to square a gay circle in a hetero-world. The impact on him has been devastating. He admits he isoften confused why some people who seem to be coping, and even coming to terms with being gay, then kill themselves.He admits in the words of Shakespeare, "There is no art to define the mind in the face. I think the social and personalisolation play a big part. You would never believe the terrible feeling of isolation allied to the inability to deal with theinternal conflict,” he said.Psychological problems are a major difficulty for the Rainbow Project. It now has a counsellor whom like David is also avolunteer. He sees the project’s task is to 'empower' the individual to take control of his life. However it was the physicalhealth problems that were life threatening. Rainbow volunteers give out information into a range of diseases. They alsoprovide details of how these can be avoided. David is not going down the way of the early government health adverts withtheir emphasis of scaring the hell out of people. Instead he tells how Rainbow has developed a series of fun cards similarto the Pokamon cards which can be collected. The idea behind such promotion is to produce a positive attitude towardshealth care and hopefully change gay men's behaviour.