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Police News April 05.indd - New Zealand Police Association

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<strong>April</strong> 2005Warning: Don’t try this at homeThe following excerpts were taken fromvideos of interactions between Americanpolice officers and the public accordingto an Email circling the globe. Who saidpolice had no sense of humour?“Relax, the handcuffs are tight becausethey’re new. They’ll stretch out after youwear them a while.”“Take your hands off the car, and I’llmake your birth certificate a worthlessdocument.”“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”“Can you run faster than 1,200 feet persecond? In case you didn’t know, that isthe average speed of a 9mm bullet firedfrom my gun.”“So you don’t know how fast you weregoing. I guess that means I can writeanything I want on the ticket, huh?”“Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shiftsupervisor, but I don’t think it will help.Oh ... did I mention that I am the shiftsupervisor?”“Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I’mwarning you not to do that again or I’llgive you another ticket.”<strong>Police</strong> <strong><strong>New</strong>s</strong> The Voice of <strong>Police</strong>“The answer to this last question willdetermine whether you are drunk or not.Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”“Yeah, we have a quota. Two more ticketsand my wife gets a toaster oven.”“Just how big were those two beers?”“No sir we don’t have quotas anymore.We used to have quotas but now we’reallowed to write as many tickets as wewant.”“I’m glad to hear the Chief of <strong>Police</strong> is agood personal friend of yours. At least youknow someone who can post your bail.”“You didn’t think we gave tickets to prettywomen? You’re right. We don’t SignBook review:Mesquite Smoke DanceAuthor: Andrew GrantThis is the first book in a trilogy – Smoke, Fire and Ash. It is set in Texas. A brutal andsadistic serial killer is on the loose and Mac Benton, Inspector for the Texas division of theNational Homicide Task Force, is the officer in charge of the investigation.Like most novels of this genre, the main character, Mac Benton, is a flawed individual.He is a loner haunted by the death of his wife and unborn son in an automobile accidentand the ghost of his former partner still inhabits his office. He is reluctantly teamed upwith a new partner Karen Birdie Falcone, haunted by her own demons.I found this book very hard going initially. In fact, I almost gave up. However, Ipersevered and ended up pleased that I did. It picked up and had some interestingtwists and turns, especially when the killer is eventually tracked down.What is even more interesting is that Andrew Grant is a <strong>New</strong> <strong>Zealand</strong> author. Thissurprised me, given the American feel to the novel.If you are like me and enjoy a thriller, give it a go. – Reviewed by Leeann Peden.HOLIDAY HOME AVAILABILITY– for bookings see: www.policeassn.org.nzAPRIL MAY JUNEPAIHIA 10-11 17, 19, 22, 29-30, 31 1-2, 5, 6-9, 13-23, 24-30STANMORE BAY 10-13, 14, 25, 30 1-5, 8-13,15-19,22-31 1-30AUCKLAND 14 1-4, 17, 23-24, 31 1-2, 6-9, 16, 19-22, 22-23, 26-29WHANGAMATA 8, 15, 1-4, 8, 16-18, 18-19, 22-26, 29-31 1-9, 10-17, 20-30MT MAUNGANUI Fully booked 1, 3-5, 8-10, 11, 14-19, 22-26, 29-31 1-2, 5-8, 9-10, 12-16, 19-23, 26-30OHOPE 10-12 5-7, 10-23, 29-31 1-16, 19-30ROTORUA 10, 14 1-5, 8-12, 15-19, 23-26, 29-31 1-2, 5, 8-9, 10, 11-16, 19-20, 24-30TAUPO 10, 22, 28-29, 30 1-5, 8-12, 15-19, 22-26, 29-31 1-2, 6-9, 12-14, 15-16, 18-23, 26-30TURANGI 10-14, 21, 29, 30 1-5, 8-13, 15-26, 27-31 1-2, 5-30NAPIER 10-14 4-5, 8-12, 15-19, 23-24, 25-26, 29-31 1-3, 6-8, 12-30PARAPARAUMU 24 1-5, 8-11, 15-19, 23-26, 29 6-9, 12-16, 19-23. 26-29GREYTOWN 28 8, 12, 16-17, 22-26, 29-31 1-3, 6-9, 12-13, 19-23, 26-30WELLINGTON 10 1, 19, 22-26, 29-30 6-8, 9, 16, 19-22, 26-27NELSON 14 2-5, 9-19, 23-28, 30-31 1-2, 5-30HANMER SPRINGS Fully booked 4-5, 30-31 1-2, 29CHRISTCHURCH Fully booked 9, 11-12, 15-16, 18-19, 22-26, 29-31, 1, 6-9, 12-14, 15, 19-23, 27-30TEKAPO Fully booked 1-2, 6-9, 12-16, 19-22, 27-30WANAKA Fully booked 2-3, 7-8, 11-13, 19, 22, 23-26, 27-31, 1-2, 5, 7-21, 21-24,CROMWELL 11, 23, 1-12, 15, 18, 21-22, 27-31, 1, 3, 6-18, 20-30QUEENSTOWN Fully booked 12, 22-23TE ANAU 10, 11-14, 30 1-6, 9-13, 18-19, 20-31 1-2, 6-10, 13-30DUNEDIN Fully booked 1-3, 16-18, 23, 29-31 1-2, 9, 12-16, 22-23, 26-2862

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