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Vietnam MemoirFinds a New Audience Among Grieving Wartime Widows:Pauline Laurent’s “Grief Denied” is helping the spouses of thosekilled in the war on terrorism begin the healing process20 - www.westcountygazette.com - 4/16/09Story by John P. AbbottPauline Laurent stumbled uponwriting in an attempt to save her life.So depressed that she was on the vergeof suicide, she began to pour out herfeelings in the pages of a journal.Those rambling, heart-wrenchingentries would eventually become“Grief Denied: A Vietnam Widow’sStory,” the first book of its kind aboutthat era and one that has found a newaudience today for those who have lostloved ones in the war on terrorism.Laurent will talk about herexperiences on Thursday, April 16 at7 p.m. at the Petaluma CommunityCenter, part of the Writers Forumthat meets the third Thursday of eachmonth.A Certified Professional LifeCoach, a gifted public speaker, and aworkshop leader, Laurent had neverdealt with the pain of the loss of herhusband. “Grief Denied,” published in1999, is an exploration of the price wepay when we hide, deny or delay grief.Writing Her Way OutLaurent grew up in a small townin southern Illinois before moving toChicago where she met her husband,Howard Querry, III. He was draftedinto the army, and soon after leavingfor Vietnam was killed in combat. Twomonths pregnant at the time, Laurentburied her grief and got busy. Shewent back to college, got her degreein education, and eventually settled inSanta Rosa, where she accepted a jobwith Werner Erhard and Associates.After three years of 70-hourwork weeks, she quit her job due toexhaustion and stress. At the sametime, she ended a relationship with aman she had been involved with forfour years. “My life had been a seriesof losses and losing this significantcareer and relationship at the sametime was too much to bear,” she recalls.She plummeted into depression andbecame suicidal. Realizing that takingher life would destroy her daughter,she entered therapy; part of herrecovery was writing about what shefelt. “I did not consider myself a writer,but I discovered there was a lot insideof me that needed to come out. Writingbecame the container that could holdthe feelings that were spilling outabout Vietnam.”Story Taking on a Life of Its OwnShe experienced an epiphany at awriting workshop a few months later.As part of a writing exercise, Laurentrecounted the day she had beeninformed her husband had been killed– a story she had never told. “Whenthe teacher asked who wanted to readI raised my hand. I was emotionallydevastated: I would read a few wordsthen sob, then read a few more and sobagain. But it was a huge breakthroughfor me. After that I felt like the storytook on a life of its own. It wouldn’tleave me alone. It wanted to be told.”As cathartic and compelling asLaurent’s story may have been,every agent and publisher that sheapproached rejected the book. Whenshe shared her frustration in a crowdedauditorium at a writing conference,a literary agent in the audience gaveLaurent her business card and offeredto look at her manuscript. That was thebreak that eventually led to the book’spublication.The book garnered strong reviewsand connected with people in allwalks of life. Jonah Raskin, professorat Sonoma State University, calledit “undeniably moving.” PublishersWeekly described it as a “direct andpowerful memoir.” Bill Moyers, whoinvited Laurent to appear on histelevision show, said the broadcast“brought a remarkable response fromso many people around the country.”Finding a New Audience TodayThe book’s influence continues toreverberate today. Laurent has beenasked to lead several grief workshopsfor widows of troops killed in Iraq andAfghanistan. “I treat these women as ifI were going back to myself as a youngwidow,” she says. “What did I needto know then? What would have thegreatest impact?”Laurent doesn’t consider herself aprofessional writer; instead, she thinksof herself as a “bright shining light”on the path of healing. “I don’t havethe credentials or degrees that otherwriters have, but it’s not about thedegrees you have or the people youknow. We all have a story to tell and wecan allow ourselves to tell our storiesusing whatever means and methodswe can avail ourselves to.”For more information about PaulineLaurent visit www.griefdenied.comand www.gutsycoaching.com.April 16 ~ The Courage to Write theStory that Scares You, Pauline LaurentWriter’s Forum ~ Supported by Poets& Writers, Inc. through a grant it hasreceived from the Hearst Foundation.$15 at the door. 7:00-9:00 pm at PetalumaCommunity Center, Luchessi Park, 320No. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma ~ www.theWriteSpot.us
Wine Banterby dick starr djstarre@sbcglobal.netCheers!Russian River VineyardsPaired with a befitting fare, awell crafted Chardonnay can leapto the front of the grape pack tostrut in full dress garb. And that’sexactly what recently happened atForestville’s Russian River Vineyardsnew restaurant, Corks. Russian RiverVineyards is one of only two wineriesin Sonoma County that has a permitapproving a full service restauranton location with the winery. Theother one, which I reviewed last year,is Francis Ford Coppola’s Rosso &Bianco. And, there are only three othersimilar permits in California.The winery and restaurant located at5700 Gravenstein Highway is presentlyunder the luminous stewardship ofChris O’Neill, Barbara Sattler, andSonoma County’s “Pasta King” ArtIbleto. The property is undergoingextensive renovation under theirtutelage with an eye towards organic,sustainable, and “green” farming. Dryfarming has already been establishedin a section of their estate.Greg Hallinan, owner of Stella’s Caféat Topolos which closed last summer,continues to create gastronomic magicwhile Sommelier Debra Del Fiorentinoprovides valuable pairing suggestions.Assistant wine maker GiovanniBalistreri recently choreographed asplendid dining and wine experience.During this visit, I was joined byWest County Gazette’s food columnistCarolyn Horan, a delightful diningcompanion who also addresses herdining experience in this issue. TheCorks crew assembled a lusciousepicurean presentation: Miso crustedsalmon ably supported by a crispysomen noodle cake, wasabi butter,shoyn and ginger.The recommended wine pairedwith the appetizers and main coursewas Russian River Vineyards ’07Chardonnay, gently and affectionatelyembraced by new French oak forfour months. While malolacticfermentation was permitted, a fruitforward authority rendered thisgolden nectar food friendly. Palateand aroma impressions were pear,citrus, apple, and melon. In addition,the Chardonnay was well balancedbetween acid, alcohol, and fruit.Dessert consisted of homemade cherrymerlot ice cream with a reductionmerlot sauce. The latter was pairedwith a delightfully dry farmed ’07100% estate Merlot. The courses pairedimpeccably with the correct grapebrought a smile to my palate.A Brief Chardonnay ProfferIn some quarters, it was thought thatChardonnay’s origin had a MiddleEastern pedigree, but UC Davis, usingDNA profiling, determined that it wasa cross between Pinot and an obscureCroatian grape, Gouais Blanc. Anyway,the classic Chardonnay grape has longestablished its home in the Frenchregion of Burgundy.While Chardonnay takes onmany faces, oak and full malolacticfermentation is not generally partof the crafting process in Chablis,Burgundy as well as other Chardonnayproducing countries like Australia,New Zealand, Canada (NiagaraPeninsular), Argentina, Chile, SouthAfrica, and Italy.It was California that popularized abuttery note to the wine by convertingthe naturally occurring malic acid tothe softer lactic acid. This malolacticconversion is sometimes referred toas a secondary fermentation and isachieved by introducing lactic bacteriato the must soon after alcoholicfermentation has started. Correctlyexecuted, its effect is to reduce acidity,add flavor, and complexity. Care mustbe taken in the process to not overproduce the buttery-smelling diacetyl,a by-product in the fermentation.The trend of recent years has been toreturn Chardonnay back to its roots,crisp and fruity. Other influencesthat can affect the finished wine arebarrel fermentation, lees stirring andaging, and oak aging. Maloed or not,Chardonnay is generally characterizedas rich, complex, and with a depth offlavor. California plantings began inearnest in the early 1970s. The RussianRiver Valley appellation is generallyrecognized as producing some of theworld’s finest Chardonnays.A fruity, crispy Chardonnay thathasn’t succumbed to the secondfermentation is easier to pair andsimilar to Pinot Noir, both complementsveal, chicken with a white sauce,salmon, pizza (try a chicken/garlicpizza with a white sauce), and pastadishes in white sauce, shellfish, lamb,goat cheese, Gruyere, Provolone, andBrie. It is an easy wine to experimentwith, especially anything with garlicand recipes with a cream base.The Russian River appellationprovides a textural enhancement thatcan only be found where the morningriver fog ameliorates afternoontemperatures so that fruit maturity isachieved without loss of depth andsuppleness.4/16/09 - www.westcountygazette.com - 21
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