Once Upon a Time at the Adelphi - Phil Willmott

third pint at the Raz like they want to melt your clothes off, and suddenly
your heart’s in your mouth and you’re sweating like Coleen at the Met
Quarter Sale and it turns out people haven’t been honest with you and… you
wish they had because maybe if you’d realised it earlier it would have been
really really nice, you know, that’s what people do to you!
OLDER ALICE: People my dear, or just one special person? When I woke the
next morning he was gone with all his secrets.
NEIL: (ON HIS PHONE IN RECEPTION) Jo! Answer your phone can’t you,
you’ve been on that roof for half an hour, we need you down here, there’s
nothing wrong is there? Just some senior took a wrong turn on the stairs
right? Listen, tonight, can we go for a drink? Just give me a chance to
convince you..Japan..you and me..we’ll be great..just..call me back ok?
MUSIC CHANGES LIGHTENING THE MOOD
Scene Three
MO - THOMPSON’S MUM’S HOUSE. SHE’S HANGING UP WASHING IN THE YARD.
THOMPSON WATCHES HER THEN SAYS –
THOMPSON; Hello Mam.
MO: Tommy! Oh Sweet Jesus you frightened the life out of me. (CALLING TO
THE NEIGHBOURS) Evie! Evie! Paddy? Look who’s here! I don’t believe it!
Lilly! Me boys come home! Oh come here! (SHE HUGS HIM) I must look a
state, it’s washing day… if I’d known -
THOMPSON: You look a million dollars!
HELEN AS A NEIGHBOUR: What’s up Mo? Trouble
MO: My eldest’s back.
HELEN AS A NEIGHBOUR: Well look at you, handsome, university obviously
agrees with you.
KANE AS A NEIGHBOUR: Thompson, I didn’t know you were visiting.
MO: It was a surprise. He just turned up out of the blue.
THOMPSON: Well now Mam I like to keep you on your toes.
HELEN AS A NEIGHBOUR: Listen to him all posh now.
THOMPSON: I’m still Dingle through and through underneath.
HELEN AS A NEIGHBOUR: Course you are. Come here. (HUGS)
OTHER NEIGHBOURS BEGIN TO DRIFT IN.
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