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Adventist Life BY PAMELA CONSUEGRA Parents in today’s technological age are dealing with issues that their parents never had to face. Social media is a cultural change that did not enter our world until the end of the last century—and it’s not a passing fad. Instead, it’s become the fabric of our American culture. As with many things, technology has proved to be both a blessing and a curse. We’ve witnessed ruling parties of nations overturned, in part, because of the influence social media had upon its citizens. If it can impact a nation, it surely has an impact upon our individual families. Many parents feel as if their attempts to control the use of media are futile. A recent study conducted by the Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture 1 revealed some startling information. Parents shared a view indicating that the family is in decline. This decline was attributed, to a large degree, to social media. Parents expressed a sense of danger to their child that was linked directly to the use of technology. Here are some of the findings the study revealed: • Eighty-four percent of teenagers carry a cell phone. • Ninety-three percent of teenagers are connected to their peers via cell phone or online social networking. • Seven out of 10 teenagers are texting at least once a day, and 64 percent are texting multiple times daily. • Four out of five teenagers have a Twitter, Facebook, or other social networking account with which they follow and “friend” people whom their parents don’t know. • Two thirds of teenagers connect to their online social networks at least several times a week. • Sixty-two percent of all parents of teenagers say their children “ are constantly connected electronically with their friends.” Another study indicates that the situation is actually worse than parents report. It shows a disconnect between parents’ perceptions and reality. “The Online Generation Gap: Contrasting Attitudes and Behaviors of Parents and Teens,” conducted by Hart Research Associates for the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI), 2 found a “generation gap” between what parents think they know about their kids’ online behavior and what the teens say they actually do know. In short, this study revealed that parents think they have a better handle on their kids’ online behavior than they actually do. This means that the problem may be worse than parents think it is. In fact, 71 percent of teens say they hide their online activity from their parents. 3 Our children’s lives are infused with • contacts, conversations, and information that many parents feel are out of their control. Parents readily admit that their child sees things in media that they should not be seeing. Parents have a sense that they should, in fact, be doing more; however, they’re uncertain as to how to get a handle on social media and the digital world that has invaded their child’s life. Many parents feel as if their attempts to control the use of media are futile. If parents try to envelop their child in a safety net against the influences of social media, they are left with nowhere for their child to go. After all, social media is all around us. There’ s no escaping it. So should parents just admit defeat? Do we throw up our hands and give up? A key role of parenting is teaching our children to become responsible adults. This is not a matter of control; it’s a matter of living up to our Godgiven responsibility as parents. In so doing, we’ll help to ensure their safety amid social media frenzy. Here are some thoughts to consider: Install parental control software. Teens should never have accounts that don’t allow parents complete access. Noth- 24 (840) | www.AdventistReview.org | September 19, 2013
Parenting Teens in a Digital ing should be secret to you regarding your children’s online activities. Software is available that can be installed on all household computers that allows you to retrieve a report of your child’s online activity, including gaming and pornography. You may want to consider Net Nanny, a toprated parental control software, which sells at a very affordable price. Set boundaries and monitor use of technology. Limit your child’s time on the computer, and be sure the computer is located in the main part of the house. Allowing your children to have computers in their rooms may limit your ability to monitor their activity and screen habits. This may not be a popular move, but that is OK. Remember, you have a responsibility as a parent to protect your children, as well as to teach them responsibility and time management. Spend time considering what you value as a family. Some families have decided to ban the television from their homes completely, finding the merits of television to be minimal. Other families have chosen to control television usage and programming, again reflecting family values. Internet access can also be gained directly from your television, so setting boundaries and monitoring its use is vital for this purpose as well. Many teenagers can’t seem to put down their cell phone. They walk with it, eat with it, and lie in bed at night World talking on it. At times they seem more interested in talking or texting on their phones than in interacting with family and friends in person. Texting has gotten out of control at every age, and it seems as if families can no longer enjoy a meal together without texting or talking on the phone. Establish ground rules for your family—adults included—so that time to talk, share, and listen are a normal part of your family’s interactions. Set up “no-texting” times and (841) 25
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