Carpet Express

24 • The Good Life - OCTOBER 2008 Tell Our Advertisers You Saw Them in the good life!!!
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MAGGIE’S GIFTS
A Large Selection of the Latest Trends in Jewelry, Priced Right
Many Unique & Whimsical Gifts for All Occasions
Infant Gifts • Webkinz
Best Savings Ever on a Great Selection of Merchandise
Open Daily 10-5 • Sunday 11-3
Harbortown Marketplace - 410 Main St, Harrisville
(989-724-7566
Gordon’s
BAIT & TACKLE
Minnows • Crawlers • Waxworms • Leafworms • Crickets
Pop • Snacks • Campfire Wood • Corn & Hay
Fall Color
Pontoon
Rentals -
Stop or Call
screen printing
embroidery
Hunting
& ORV
Licenses
OPEN 7 DAYS • Daylight to Dark - Just Stop In!
6075 N. M‐65, Glennie at the AuSable River & Five Channels Dam
(989) 728-2248
New Sun Dresses
new merchandise
designer sunglasses
arriving all the time!
NEW LOCATION:
133 N. State St, Alpena - Harborside Mall • 989-354-4400
www.inksettersgraphicdesign.com
body & mind gifts body jewelry
A Primer on Female Terminology
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when
they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an
hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given
five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the
house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin
with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she
thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #
3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a
women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think
long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your
mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or Faint.
Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is
true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she
is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ ... that will
bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying “up yours.”
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do
several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a
man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
* Share this with the men you know, to warn them about arguments
they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
LARRY'S
PARTS HAUS
(Corner of US-23 and Nicholson Hill Road)
Ossineke, 989-471-2911 • 888-471-2911
Open Monday thru Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Saturday 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
See your local Car Quest store for a
complete selection of Agricultural
Why
Pumpkins
are Better
Than Men
1. Every year you get a
brand new crop to choose
from.
2. No matter what your
mood is, pumpkins are
always ready to greet
you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a
better pie.
4. They are always on the
doorstep there waiting
for you!
5. If you don’t like the
way he looks, you just
carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up
your place, you can just
throw him out.
7. From the start you
know a pumpkin has an
empty, mush filled head
to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned
on (lit-up) only when you
want him to be.
Wise Old Man
An older, white haired man walked
into a jewelry store one Friday
evening with a beautiful young gal
at his side. He told the jeweler he
was looking for a special ring for
his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his
stock and brought out a $5,000
ring. The old man said, ‘No, I’d
like to see something more special.’
At that statement, the jeweler went
to his special stock and brought
another ring over. ‘Here’s a
stunning ring at only $40,000 the
jeweler said.
The young lady’s eyes sparkled
and her whole body trembled with
excitement. The old man seeing
this said, ‘We’ll take it.’
The jeweler asked how payment
would be made and the old man
stated, ‘By check. I know you need
to make sure my check is good,
so I’ll write it now and you can
call the bank Monday to verify
the funds and I’ll pick the ring up
Monday afternoon,’ he said.
Monday morning, the jeweler
phoned the old man.
‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let
me tell you about my weekend!’
All seniors aren’t senile.
Leading the Way
in Comfort
Specializing In
In-Floor Radiant Heating
Geothermal Heating and Cooling
Carrier Central Heating and Cooling
ALSO OFFERING THE BEST IN:
Hydronic Baseboard t Domestic Hot Water
Ice & Snow Melt t Gas Furnaces
Air Conditioning t Heat Pumps
Whole House Hepa Filtration t The Perfect Window
130 E. Ainsley
Hale, MI 48739
(989) 728-5955
(877) 879-8726
Visit Us at www.colvinsheating.com
Now Offering Rental Linens in White or Ivory
Round & Banquet, Skirting & So Much More
• Shoes
• Jewelry
We Also Have a Huge Variety of...
• Gloves
• Purses
• Jackets
• Shawls
Wilton Cake and Candy Supplies
• Anniversary Items
• Invitations
185 N. State Street (Located in Alpena Harborside Mall)
(989) 358-BRIDE (2743)
# Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.
# Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.
# Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes
costumes and goes around again.
# Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-ortreaters.
# Leo plans their costume for months, then won’t go out
because someone else had the same idea.
# Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they’re a
bookkeeper.
# Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a
costume.
# Scorpio isn’t in it for the candy.
# Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.
# Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy
and the
optimal route to take.
# Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and
spends all
night tinkering when it shorts.
# Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
Back Room Antiques
“From New To Old”
Furniture - Jewelry - Home Decor
Lighting - Antler Art - Animal & Fish Mounts
Custom Woodworking Available
Something for Everyone
402 W. Lake St. (US-23), Tawas City, MI 48763
Located in the Liberty Bldg. • (989) 362-0400
Open 7 Days. Mon-Sat 10-5, Sundays 11-4