Experiences

Doi Ra has struggled for many years, and despite all her
suffering still has a teasing sense of humor. She had three
sons, all of whom were conscripted to serve in the KIA. Two
of them are now dead.
After that, I tried
to change myself.
I spent my time
praying day and
night, and tried to
make myself feel
better by saying
that he died for his
country and the
people. I felt like
everything in my
life was broken.
But I always pray
that I will recover
from the situation
and be able to
take care of my
grandson and
daughter. I feel a
little bit calmer
when I pray.
Doi Ra was traumatized when her youngest son was tortured and
killed by the Burmese army during a botched prisoner exchange
that broke the 17-year-long ceasefire on June 9, 2011. Doi Ra’s son
was a KIA soldier, who was captured by the Burmese army during
the ceasefire. Instead of handing him over to the KIA, they only
handed over his clothes and gun, and it was later discovered that
he had been tortured to death.
Doi Ra faced many difficulties in the aftermath of her son’s death.
Her eldest son had already died in battle in 1994, and she found it
very hard to cope with her young family and maintaining the farm.
I was so sad and empty. I tried to heal my pain by drinking
four or five bottles of alcohol a week. I had to drink a
bottle each night to be able to sleep well. The leader of
the church came to tell me not to drink alcohol because it
would affect my health. She also prayed for me. Slowly, I
began to realize that I should not drink, since some of my
children were still very young and I knew that I needed to
educate them.
In the end, the KIA gave Doi Ra’s son a proper funeral, and she
received 200,000 Kyat (around $ USD 200) as recognition for his
death. Yet she is very angry about the lack of justice for her son, “The
Burmese army cheated us and we Kachins always have to suffer like
this. Neither side would tell me exactly how he was killed, so I do not
know who really killed my son. Even though I followed the news for
days, I could not work out what really happened.”
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Doi Ra was able to reclaim her son’s body, which was already
decomposing. She assumes that he had been killed days before,
and that the Burmese army attempted to hide the body. Now she
grows corn and raises chickens and a pig for her family’s livelihood.
She also has a paddy farm, but is unable to farm this since her
other son has a bad leg and his wife is not strong enough to work.
Doi Ra suffers from abdominal pain and is grief stricken.
Although she feels weak and cannot work as she used to, she was
encouraged to carry on after meeting the other Kachin survivors.
Women’s Experiences of War,
Peace, and Impunity in Myanmar