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Damini Mai reacts<br />
to Virgin Tree Feud<br />
Sidebar Clickversity<br />
by Shaktiman<br />
There are a couple of things in<br />
North campus which the students<br />
are proud of, one of these is the<br />
Virgin Tree in Hindu college. With<br />
thousands of young students as<br />
devotees of the respected<br />
Damdami Mai who is worshiped<br />
on Valentine’s Day, the tree is one<br />
of the sensations in the entire DU.<br />
It hasn’t been long since there<br />
was this order by the principal to<br />
chop down the tree – the only<br />
hope to nerds and shy soldiers to<br />
l o s e v i r g i n i t y. A s p e r t h e<br />
statements, “The tree has been<br />
chopped as it posed difficulties in<br />
expanding infrastructure.” .The<br />
tree has already been chopped off<br />
and the construction process has<br />
been initiated. The students are still<br />
praying for some miracle by<br />
Damdami Mai.<br />
However, it didn’t take much long<br />
for Damdami Mai to hear students’<br />
cries against the diktats of the<br />
college administration. As per<br />
brutally unreliable sources, the<br />
p r i n c i p a l h a d b e e n g e t t i n g<br />
nightmares in which Damdami Mai<br />
appears from time to time. She has<br />
threatened the principal to get<br />
everything back to normal as<br />
Damdami Mai doesn’t want a<br />
falling number of her followers. If<br />
her demands are not met, she has<br />
threatened that all the students<br />
would not be able to write exams as<br />
they will be using their right HAND<br />
for self pleasure a little more than<br />
too much.” The principal has<br />
decided to have a meeting with<br />
Damdami Maiin the dream next<br />
week and has decided to negotiate<br />
with the said demands. Though the<br />
PA of the principal did show some<br />
positive response regarding this<br />
matter and said that there had<br />
been turmoil in the senior staff and<br />
seeing the popularity of Damdami<br />
Mai among students, it has been<br />
decided that this issue will be<br />
further taken into United Nations<br />
to have an international solution to<br />
national virginity. Damdami Maihas<br />
recently opened a Facebook<br />
account to maintain her followers<br />
(just in case) where she has also<br />
asked her followers to put up a<br />
statue of virgin Sunny Leone in case<br />
the Virgin Tree is not restored and<br />
she has also apologised for not<br />
connecting with her followers due<br />
to poor networks in Devlok(Where<br />
all these gods and goddesses live).<br />
Damdami Mai has also begun a<br />
YouTube channel to give online<br />
tuition for self-pleasure and tips<br />
and tricks for newbies. All this has<br />
interrupted the semester exams<br />
preparation of students so let me<br />
study now and thank you very much.<br />
WWF Earth Hour<br />
2016- LIGHTS OFF<br />
By Prabhjot Kaur<br />
“We are the first generation to feel the impact of<br />
the climate change, and the last generation that<br />
can do something about it” – Barack Obama<br />
Until two decades back, the world looked at<br />
economic status alone as a measure of human<br />
development. This idea led to rapid exploitation<br />
of resources across the world. This lopsided<br />
growth led to catastrophic results increase in the<br />
carbon dioxide levels, rise in sea level and global<br />
warming.<br />
To combat this situation, WWF (World Wide<br />
Fund for nature) came up with the idea of<br />
Earth Hour-switching off lights in your home/<br />
office for one hour to take a stand against the<br />
climate change. It was famously started as a<br />
‘lights off’ event in Sydney, Australia in 2007<br />
and since then it has grown to engage more than<br />
172 countries and territories worldwide. It was<br />
started in India in 2009 and has seen widespread<br />
support from all the states. This year Earth Hour<br />
celebrates its 10th anniversary worldwide. The<br />
logo 60+ means going beyond those sixty minutes<br />
and working towards protecting our environment<br />
throughout the year. This year Earth<br />
Hour focuses on going beyond the hour; this<br />
year Earth Hour in India focuses on promoting<br />
rooftop solar panels and open discussions about<br />
climate change.<br />
Earth hour 2016 is on 19th March; 8.30 pm.<br />
Pledge your support and switch off the lights for<br />
an hour. It’s now or never!