Up and down Dale Limericks

Our club has a walker called Ray
Who´ll tell you stories all day
But, if he mentions an orange
Every word you should challenge
'Cos you can't believe a word that he'll say!
There are some Lagos walkers my god one tells some porkers
One day he told a whopper got arrested by a copper
His wife she did not a wail as he was hiked off to jail
This walk was on a sunny day the bloody fool his name was Wainwright
I walked as fast as my legs can go
My head was thumping like a Kango
I thought that I had walked to Bristol
But wait! I see a frosty Cristal
And a plate of red hot frango.
There was an old walker called Bunney
Didn't know his arse from his tummy
He said where’s me stick?
So I though I would kick
It straight up his back side,...the dummy!!
Two walkers named Wendy and Adam.
Couldn't tell gravel from macadam.
He agreed just to suit her.
But wanted to shoot her.
What ever happened to the scooter?
Roger Dale
Jeff Patterson
David Foot
Wendy Bunney
Adam Bunney

The rules of the club are the theme
Piri Piri with mayo's a dream
Cristal's a blast
Bad jokes from the past
And carrying friends cross the stream
Ray Pocock
When its Up and Down Dale we are here
We are not the quickest that's clear
I may be lagging
Marg may be flagging
But we know we are going to get beer
Peter McClusky
We sometimes go walking with Ray
Which is sometimes quite hard I must say
But when problems occur
Super Wendy is there
And just makes them all go away.
Alternative ending
Kath Bailey
We sometimes go walking with Ray
Which can be quite hard I must say
We'd be better by far
Sitting in the Star bar
Eating and drinking all day
Kath Bailey
We sometimes go walking with Ray
Until he turned up in a sleigh
We all ran amok
Trying to get in this truck
Then the reindeers they all ran away.
Frank Sharpe

Twice yearly to Lagos we go
And walk with our friends as you know
The journey's a pain
And we know it might rain
But at least there's no bloody snow.
Malcolm Bailey
We walk with up and down dale
Not always, ‘cos some weeks we fail
But we are getting old
And our legs tend to fold
Perhaps we should keep off the ale.
Malcolm Bailey
When we walk with up and down dale
Sometimes there's a sting in the tail
It can be too far
But there's always a bar
For a beer at the end of the trail
There's a walk near Carrapateira
And another at Mexilhoeira
North of Silves is the best
Much better than the rest
Cos than Valdemar's lunch there's none fairer
Malcolm Bailey
Roger Dale
Have a good time on Friday night
Choose the right winner so you don't cause a fight
A few glasses of wine
And you'll all be fine
I'm sure the whole evening will be a delight
Kath Bailey

There was a walker called Ray,
Who set off to walk round the bay
He took along Tina,
So long since he'd seen her,
And that really made her day.
Patrick and Mary
Lets meet at the cafe Zig Zag,
We've just time for a beer and a fag,
Then well nip round the block
Keep an eye on the clock,
Then it's vinho all night till we sag.
Patrick and Mary
We all love Up and Down Dale,
It puts its exercise before ale,
But once in a while
Just to give you a smile
They'll all drink beer by the pail.
Patrick and Mary
When walking with Up and Down Dale,
Our leader he spotted a whale,
It rose from the sea
And gave a curtsy
Then flattened poor Ray with its tail.
Patrick and Mary
Our walkers are friends old and dear,
They stride the Algarve far and near
'This scenery's great
But we've no wish to wait,
Lets return and start opening the beer'.
Patrick and Mary

Our walks could cause people angina,
Especially our new member named china
She's black and inflatable
Makes some feel insatiable
Especially when Adams near her..............vvvvv, let down valve!!!
In the group there's a couple of Rogers
On face value they look like two codgers
But after closer inspections
Reveal two small erections
It appears they're just harmless tax dodgers..
There once was an Essex girl in Lagos
Who spoke a lot of tosh
But when walking with friends
Her accent did mend
And she now sounds positively posh
There's a walker in the club called Bunney
His jokes are sometimes quite funny
But most of them stink
- least, that's what I think!
Just as well he doesn't do that for money.
Two walkers named Wendy and Adam.
Couldn't tell gravel from macadam.
He agreed just to suit her.
Don't mention the scooter.
Sometimes she can be a right Madame.
Wendy Bunney
Adam Bunney
Sara Fox
Roger Dale
Adam Bunney

Bunnies are gamboling up and down dales
Neath thunder, lightening and gales.
They are all on their own,
No Roger and Joan
Who decamped to the January sales!
Roger “Laureate” Williams
Jerry and Sara know they'll be missed
At the awards - we are off the list
But we trust you'll have fun
In the land of the sun
And hopefully all end up pissed
Sara Fox
There are members called McCluskey
Who have a dog who thinks its a Husky
Its name is Geddy
Now lets get ready
For a walk in the country
Warwick Sola
There is a member called Ray
Who can spin five yarns in a day.
But he tells them so well
Just ask Bruno Mel.
The olive tax you'll just have to pay.
Adam Bunney
Predictive script is a scam
So Adam becomes a big Swam
When cancelling a walk
Because he was a dork
He will be Swam for the full programme
Ray Pocock

Tarmacadam’s a place on a walk
Where it can be heated when there’s some talk
He said there’s no more road
Then God did she explode
He watched the scooter with the eyes of a hawk!
Ray Pocock
Beeupnose corner’s a place of some fame
Naming locations are part of the game
Tributes on each road
To hamsters and toads
Or sticks of knob heads they failed to reclaim
Ray Pocock
The Modelo principal is quite sound
To some it may seem profound
Weight heat and height
Calculate them we might
To determine how many Cristal’s are downed.
Ray Pocock
Up and Down Dale is a club
Who spends a good deal of time in the pub
Cristal, Washing lines
Piri Piri and Grape Vines
And Scrubbers are part of the rub
Ray Pocock
The club has a section called "Udders"
Though all of its members are nutters!
With machete in hand
They traverse the land
And make new easy trails for us others.
Roger Dale

On the Bensafrim walk there's a well
Where olives once grew, Ray will tell
But to stop Spanish taxes
The locals brought axes
And chopped all the trees where they fell.
Tina Batey
At Castelejo there came a big wave
For surfers to ride who were brave
It crashed over the cliff
Or is that just a myth?
'cos the lifeguard had no one to save.
Tina Batey
We have a club mascot called Pippi
Though not young she's still rather zippy
She rounds us all up
Like a regular pup
But with Geddy can still get quite nippy!
Tina Batey
The 'Spaghetti is hanging' you know
Means only fast walkers not slow
We like to be quick
So we go at a lick
But it's just for more Cristals we go!
Tina Batey
A new club was once formed goes the tale
For people to meet on a trail
They would go for a walk
And crap they would talk
That's how we became 'Up and Down Dale'
Tina Batey

"Waresmistyk" (*) you might hear someone shout,
or "That's where the scrubbers hang out".
Catchphrases galore
So if you want to hear more
The craic's what this club's all about.
Roger Dale
* 1. A punk duo
2. A cry uttered by a walker when he or she suddenly realises that their
"styk" has been left on the ground at the last watering hole
A group of like minded people went roaming
On the Algarve it was they were combing
The pinnacle of their desire
Was to find chicken with fire
To make sure that none were left groaning !
Pauline Sharpe