The Parishioner - Edition 26|Spring 2016

Pauline Jacqueline Marie Sexton
20th February 1927 - 31 August 2015
Edmund and Gerard Sexton combined to give the Eulogy for Pauline during her Requiem Mass.
Edmund
Not since Mum tied the knot with Dad in 1951
will she be the first out of the Church after
this Mass. The queen of the Narthex
chin-wag; where many a distressed soul was eased
or advised and a good hearty debate would ensue.
Project Pauline kicked off when she was born to Cecil
and Frederick Cheesman in Feb 1927 and she was
handed her instructions by her heavenly Father. Her
mission statement was to embrace the ministry of a
fervent Christian; one of sacrifice, selflessness,
devotion and love. Spiritually and humanly she
excelled; Mum didn’t do things by halves; she truly
grasped the nettle of life and drove a huge Pauline
shaped furrow through it touching many who met
her. Her conviction to her faith and her down to earth
humanity was the central tenet to which she tied her
colours.
A pilgrim, a sports woman, a joker; a singer; a
thespian, apple scrumper (least said, Mrs Murphy!); a dedicated nursemaid and
carer; a rally driver (again need I say her driving prowess and high jinx!), a
counsellor, a cook, a poet, a horticulturist, a letter writer, a reader, a fund raiser,
a campaigner (notably for the unborn child); a conversationalist. A companion
and selfless friend, a servant to her fellow person; poor of spirit or less
fortunate. A true advocate of Christ, Our Lady, mother church and all the saints
and holy people, a true friend and companion, a dutiful daughter, sister, a
beautiful and loyal wife, a loving grandmother and latterly great-grandmother
and above all else a wonderful mother… forgiving; the personification of the
unconditional love that the gospel expounds.
Mum had committed herself to so many things; however the abbreviated
CV would say ‘doing God’s work…’
She had a special place in her heart for the great heroes and heroines of
the faith whose example she leant on greatly throughout her life;
predominantly the Blessed Mother Theresa whom she met with her daughter
Teresa in 1971 and again later in her life. Her tireless work as a dedicated
Co-worker was so important to her living Mother’s message. But there were
so many others; Padre Pio; Titus Brandsma; The 40 Martyrs of England and
Wales; you name it mum knew them all.
She jumped in both feet to faith based projects with CWL; Women’s World
Day of Prayer, The Carmelite Third order, the ecumenical movement, numerous
prayer groups and church coffee morning and Life (she so loved children and
was persistent with her campaigning for the right to life of the unborn Child).
She was so happy to accept the responsibility of becoming a special minister
and served the Parishes she attended notably Brentwood Cathedral and St
Francis’ Church, Maidstone with magnificent consistency, humility and
enthusiasm.
As a relentless pilgrim she embraced Aylesford; Walsingham, Lourdes,
Fatima, Medjugorje and Rome. The air miles alone would get her to Heaven I
think!
On her journey Mum met so many wonderful people that became friends
to us all. The roll call would be extensive. Many of you are here in person or in
spirit and know her; you know she loved you all as we know you loved her. I
know she’d say you are in all in her ‘White Bag’. On her endless runs to London
with our Sister Teresa it was her white bag she carried with her and she adopted
the term to those in need ‘We’ll put you in our white prayer bag.’ Well, aren’t
we fortunate she’s taken it with her in her heart and soul straight to the Boss?
She prayed so hard for all of humanity but had special cause with those
she met on her way. Today we’d ask you (if you wish) to write a short message;
memory or intention and place it in the bag at the reception where we’ll meet
you at later this afternoon. Mum would be so heartened. It’ll also be nice for
Dad and the broader family to reflect upon in years to come.
Mum’s greatest achievement was her family; nine children she would have
died for. Her family were paramount and the greatest expression of the love of
a wonderful husband and a strong faith. Her example to us all should be
honoured and I think she wouldn’t want a tree or a
stone but more a memorial in action; what we can to
do for the least of these, thy brethren; to pray for her
and world and to spread love which she had such a
natural propensity to share.
Dementia stole some of mum away some time
ago but we were lucky she was strong and still shone
through like a bright shard of light on a stormy day. She
would be happy that we’ve set up in her memory a
JustGiving page to supplement the offerings to the
Sisters today for Dementia UK to help in easing this
most cruel disease
Mum used to say in some of our darkest hours
‘Offer it to Jesus for those who are worse off’. Mum’s
final sacrifice (of which there were many throughout
her life) came to an end, her race was won when her
earthly ministry peacefully diminished on 31st August.
Gerard
Where do I start? Charshalton, Bromley, London Rd. Brentwood, Warren
Rd. Shenfield, West Malling. How do I distil 88 years into just 7 mins. Pauline
Jaqueline, a mother, a daughter, a sister. a painter, a writer. A wife to one, a
mother to nine, a grandmother to 15, great-grandmother to 1 speaks volumes
about you. You taught us your values, you showed us the way. Each of us carry
some small part of you throughout our lives and as we multiply so the process
continues; as Shelley writes “we are a portion of everything we ever loved”.
What a journey Mum! Mary arrives in 1952 and Edmund in 1971, a gnat’s
whisker shy of 20 years between number 1 and 10. Did you ever imagine what
you let yourself in for. Probably the answer is no. I know you left your fate in
your Lord. The comings and goings of missionary priests from Africa and North
America, au pair girls from Belgium, Japan and Denmark and Armando from
Italy. Your life was spent in service to others. Whatever happened along the
way, you remained steadfast, rarely flustered, always dignified, the one
constant, the one certainty, our mentor, our succour in times of need. You, never
outwardly flinched, you only rarely scolded, almost never judged, you listened
to all our woes, as the shipwrecks came and went you helped steer their ships
to calmer waters. I want to celebrate your compassion, your relentless
acceptance and your devotion, to your husband our Dad, to us your children,
to your grandchildren, to the Church and to your faith. I want to be reminded
of your humility, your grace and selflessness, your strength of faith and your
humour and, above all, your love.
You were a giver, never a taker. You nurtured rather than demolished, you
facilitated rather than demanded, there was never a tragedy large enough -
and there were many - to send you off balance, as your sails seemed always
full your energy.
Your belief in God and the teachings of Jesus were indeed your inspiration.
His light shone through you like a trillion stars, never faltering, never
complaining, always teaching, always showing us his way, the path to
redemption and freedom. That light can never be extinguished. It burns bright
in us all, its flame showing us the way to everlasting joy. Your purpose was
always clear. To enrich so many lives as you did is more valuable than any
amount of money. We each have stumbled, tripped and grazed our
metaphorical knees but you were always our nurse, patching us up, reminding
us tomorrow was another day, life goes on and there is a way out, with trust
in the Lord.
I know we all at some time and most likely more than once thought we let
you down but you never let us believe it. All of us independently and collectively
will have memories, stories about your courage in the face of all that unfolded
as we grew to take on our own worlds and to face our own demons..
We know you were so proud of all of us and full of praise for each one of
us. We know you loved us unconditionally, with all your heart your soul and
your being. We all owe you our lives, not as a debt but as a gift. You were our
guardian angel, our rock. We will miss you in the flesh, though treasure you in
the spirit.
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