The Parishioner - Edition 26|Spring 2016

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JOHN DERMOT NELSON McELROY This In Memoriam is based on the eulogy given by his son, John, at the funeral Mass, 2nd December 2015 The many people who knew John at St Francis or Nettlestead churches or as members of Maidstone Circle of Catenians were much saddened to hear of his death. John was born in Dublin in 1933 the eldest son of a family of four children. His father was a business man and his mother a lawyer. He grew up in a large and close knit family with three siblings and 21 first cousins. His schooling was blighted by recurrent asthma requiring protracted periods of convalescence. Then, when 16, he fell seriously ill with meningitis. At the time, this was a deadly disease but John was fortunate to be an early recipient of penicillin. In fact, during his illness Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of penicillin, was lecturing in Dublin and, through the intervention of his very determined mother, came to visit John in the clinic giving invaluable advice to the physicians treating him. Having taken so much time out of school for ill health, John decided to go straight into business. He was a gifted craftsman and began to make wood furniture which he successfully sold to department stores like Clery’s in Dublin. One of his signature pieces, a clothes horse appropriately called the Mac Rack, can still be found in discerning Dublin homes! In 1957 John decided to search for pastures new and moved, with some friends, to London. It was here that John met Jo when he and his friends were at a party organised by their landlady. John and Jo married in 1960, a year after John had taken up a job as a furniture designer for the Kent County Council Supplies Department, at the time a major procurer of goods and services for schools, the police force and other government departments. John remained with KCC throughout his career, eventually becoming deputy head of the Supplies Department. He was really an entrepreneur at heart. So, when the opportunity presented itself, he took early retirement and began a consulting firm, going back to what he enjoyed most, running his own business. centre in Maidstone. John loved to travel and took great pleasure in visiting family in Ireland and in Washington DC where his parents and siblings had moved. For many years he had a caravan and took Jo and their two sons John and Aidan exploring France, Germany and Italy. John also loved to walk, and he and Jo enjoyed many hiking holidays with friends in France, Switzerland and in the Lake District. Indeed, until a year ago he and Jo walked once a week with their close circle of friends. John took an active role in the life of St Francis Church in Maidstone. He was chair of the finance committee for some years and became a Eucharistic minister. He wasn’t just a pillar of the Catholic Church but also took time to assist other communities, for example, helping to raise funds to build the new Salvation Army John was a committed member of the Catenian Association to which he belonged for over 45 years. He was president of Maidstone Circle twice and truly believed in the Association’s values. As President, in 2008 he held a memorable dinner at Leeds Castle to celebrate the Circle’s 500th meeting. Catenians have been an important part of John’s life giving wonderful friendship and support over the years and, in particular, over the past few months when he was most ill. He much valued the visits and messages, and took comfort from the knowledge that the brothers would continue to be there for Jo too. John’s faith was strong and he was able to bear his final illness with fortitude and stoicism. When the end came, it came peacefully. John touched many peoples’ lives and was widely known and respected as a gentleman, and, indeed a gentle man. We know that his memory as a gentle and generous man will live on with all of us. Grandchildren Mary Brittain 2nd June 2014 At first, small bundle to cuddle and feed Change nappy, soothe, bath is all they need Before long they sit, crawl, try to stand Now smiling toddlers, isn’t life grand? Sarah and Gemma were first to arrive Time goes so fast, now almost five Christopher and Strachan, now on their feet And new baby Amy, all keen to meet Another year and two more babies to come Rachel, followed by Gareth, oh such fun! Two more years, two more babies so fine Emily and Jevan bring Grandchildren to nine Look forward to when they come and stay The cousins meet, chat, fight and play Outings in the car, are no good at all Now hire a mini-bus, we all have a ball Over the years the Grandchildren have grown Don’t come and stay, the nest they have flown But to keep numbers up, three more arrive Now Lewis nine, Sophie eight, little James five Usually the youngest seven of the dozen Still stay with us, sleeping cousin to cousin Playing, swimming or just having tea Take photos, make albums for them and for me Oldest five between twenty-five and twenty Are happy, healthy, doing well, fun a-plenty A Great-Grandmother, I want to be Not on the cards yet, I can see Other Grandchildren, please think of my plight But have your babies when it feels right Hope to have my get up and go Trust it’s not gone, but who’s to know? I will be ready and waiting for sure With stories of you, your parents and more albums to show, memories to make Grandad and I, just have to wait! (P.S. Am still waiting!) The seven youngest Grandchildren. 12
Dispassion and Detachment Christine Mace Dispassion In the dictionary, the meaning of dispassion states... not influenced by strong emotion, rational and impartial. In reality, it is a Grace given by the Holy Spirit, which is a detachment from sensuality and all pleasures and desires of the flesh, and detachment is a pulling away by the Holy Spirit from the enticements of the world and the focus of our affections. believe the Grace of dispassion is acquired by a soul who genuinely desires it in its fullness. One can say that one would wish to be detached from the flesh but to mean this request in all its implications is a different matter. This is particularly true I should imagine if one is in the flower of youth when by the very force of nature, passions run high. After all, along with the Grace of dispassion comes also the elimination of all vanity. One never again contemplates oneself as a desirable object. In fact, one is horrified at the thought of a member of the opposite sex even glancing at one in a lecherous way. Dispassion is absolute and serious in the administration of its lethal medication, that of the spiritual anesthetizing of the flesh. The Holy Spirit therefore, who can obviously never err and knows us far better that we can ever know ourselves, does not administer this lethal dose without knowing that the soul in question sincerely wishes to be freed totally and completely from the agitations of the pleasures of the flesh.We are a fallen creation and in consequence we crave flesh. We are as a creation flesh, but we also have a much higher, much neglected, nobler part which is our spirit. Of course, as with all matters concerning God, love is the key, love is the opener of the enclosure. When one, by Grace, can love God to the depth of turning aside all human excitation, then one is truly suitable for the reception of this privilege. For a great privilege of the Spirit it most certainly is! For when one falls madly in love with God, and I repeat madly, very swiftly one turns away from the world and all that its tentacles hold. I always think that Jesus does not prefer lukewarm and it is confirmed in His words to the Church in Laodicea. But because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will begin to vomit thee out of My mouth.” Revelation 3:16 Douay-Rheims In a word dispassion is freedom. Christ opens the cage and the master that is our flesh is annihilated and we are freed! “For you brethren have been called unto liberty. Only make not liberty and occasion to the flesh: but by charity of the spirit serve one another.” Galatians 4:13 Douay- Rheims Detachment In the dictionary the meaning of detachment states... the state of being objective or aloof. A person who has been given the Grace of detachment can, to a degree, often seem to the outside world within their own world so to speak. They do not join in the daily functions of other folk to any degree. They recognize the tabernacle of Satan (the television) confirmed by St. Padre Pio, and watch it as little as they possibly can. They abhor large department stores, or any gathering of people who are solely intent on enjoying themselves in consumerism. For the world the flesh and the devil is recognized as the enemy when we have eyes that can see through the spirit by the Grace of God. All three represent temptation and distraction from our path to holiness. For we are in reality, all called to be holy as our Father is Holy. “Because it is written: You shall be holy, for I am Holy.” 1 Peter 1:16 Douay-Rheims I believe in the power of the Grace of faith in its fullness. This much neglected root of Christianity. Jesus has said on His return will He find any faith? “But yet the Son of man, when He cometh, shall He find, think you, faith on earth”? Luke 18:8 Douay-Rheims. Faith, because it is another gift of the Holy Spirit can be given in measure and that measure is the depth of the love we return to the source of love itself, God. A lukewarm faith is an indication of a lukewarm love for our Creator. All is not lost however in the mercy of God. Ask for a deeper faith and it shall be given to you, ask for anything that is not against the Fathers will and it will be given to you. “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea, which is moved about by the wind.” James 1:6 Douay Rheims. SILENT WITNESS On February 27th this year, the from the corner (instead of seven small Ordinariate Chapel of Our from different areas) and sent it off Lady in Wateringbury was packed to three arbitrarily selected with people who had come to hear laboratories (instead of blind and a talk given by David Rolfe, film controlled tests to the world’s leading director and producer and BAFTA seven laboratories). At the same time winner for his film “Silent Witness - the scientists didn’t protest too much an Investigation into the Shroud of as they were afraid that the Vatican, Turin” in the 1970s. who had taken so long to agree, would cancel the test if a fuss was The documentary film was a great made. success, shown in cinemas and on television as well as being featured The test and results were rushed out. in the Sunday Times magazine To the sceptical press the results which bore the amazing image of were no surprise and the headlines Christ’s face on its cover. David that flew around the globe branded Rolfe’s talk, apart from the history of the Shroud a medieval fake. And to t h e Christine and Rob Mace, David Rolfe and his wife and Fr. Paul Gibbons all intents and purposes. that’s how making of his film, also covered as much as is the public perception has remained.” known of the history of the Holy Shroud itself, from its earliest documentation in the 12th Recent tests on the shroud have shown that the piece of cloth used in century as well as scientific investigations of the the C14 test was taken from cloth and image details which might indicate a the part of the shroud which Footprints... much earlier date, even the first century. ttwas badly contaminated in medieval times when the Interest in the Shroud, eventually in the 80s, lead Shroud was held up during to the use of carbon 14 dating tests and David festivals and religious Rolfe went out to Turin with his team to film the ceremonies. David Rolfe’s process. Everything was prepared meticulously talk was fascinating and but suddenly the protocols agreed were set intriguing . aside. “It was almost as though they didn’t care any more” he said, ”they just abandoned all the You can find out more about protocols that had been agreed with the the Holy Shroud on the international team of scientists, cut one sample Internet. 13
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The Parishioner - Edition 26|Spring 2016

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