Pain Pain Go Away

Since I figured she might need them right away, I had the clerk take
off the price tags too.
And just in case, I went to another shop and bought a blouse similar
in design to the now-stained one. I considered the possibility she
might be more comfortable in her uniform than casual clothes.
I returned to the car in the underground parking structure, tossed
the shopping bags to the back seat, and sprawled out on the seat,
whistling as I waited for the girl.
It made me seem no different from anyone else, just a regular
shopper - not someone who’d come here to make preparations for
murder.
I thought about what would happen when the effects of the
postponement ran out. The girl would die, her acts of revenge
would all return to nothingness, and instead, the reality of me
running her over would return.
Naturally, I would be charged with dangerous driving causing death
or injury and arrested. I didn’t know in much detail what would
happen after that, but I’d probably go to a prison for traffic
offenders. My term could be a couple years to a decade, maybe.
Even if I went to prison, that father of mine wouldn’t show any
particular reaction, I thought to myself.
That man was like a shed skin which, by some terrible mistake, just
kept moving. Not even causing death by way of drunk driving would
be enough to surprise him.
I figured that unless I did something like what the girl was doing,
purposefully taking someone’s life with clear intent, I’d never be
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