Chris Isaak Book

SAN FRANCISCO SUN
SA2
TODAY'S WEATHER
Morning should be clear with
lear evening.
C
ENTERTAINMENT
Thursday, January 24 - 2002
Know What's Going On In Town
Check with this weekends Feature Film Releases
By Christie Horseman
San Francisco Sun
Isaak the Chimpanzee will pretty much jump
anything in sight. But jumping things became a
little less exciting than throwing his crud at singer
Chris Isaak's girlfriend. "Adopt a Friend" - the latest
charitable function held at the Golden Gate Zoo
drew a crowd of only 50 - 80 onlookers, but what a
sight they saw.
Laughter poured from the crowd as "Isaak" picked
up his dung and with great aim winged it through
the bars on his cage and planted it on the left cheek
of singer Isaak's girlfriend. There was a stillness to
the crowd that you could cut with a knife as Ulmer -
Isaak's date - touched her cheek and began to
scream. The screaming did not stop for over 30
minutes as she made her way to their car.
There has been some question about the choice of
dates that Isaak has on his arm and this one was the
topper. Wearing an animal hide, Ulmer stood there
with almost disgust and the patience of a 2 year old
as she watched Chris adopt his new primate.
Chris Isaak, as you well know, is the remarkable
talent whose hits such as "Wicked Game" and
"Baby, Did a Bad, Bad Thing" have graced the
charts. One would assume that such an individual
would be more selective when choosing an escort
for an important and focal charity event.
A Tail Of Two Isaaks
Mating Habits.
Isaak the Chimpanzee: Jumps everything in sight.
Isaak the Crooner: Slightly more selective.
Photo courtesy of Golden Gate Zoo
Photo courtesy of Ikonn Management
As background, the escort chosen was Olivia
Ulmer, (28) a local waitress. Other than these small
facts little is known of her character or profession.
However, the events of Wednesday afternoon will
likely lead to her fifteen minutes of fame. Briefly at
least, this crude moment has shone some light on her
undoubtedly mundane life.
As for Isaak, well, unfortunately the intended
positive nature of "Adopt-A-Friend" has been
upstaged by these comical events.
Perhaps, Golden Gate Zoo should have offered
Isaak a "dating for society" seminar rather than the
gift of a chimp. Maybe then both parties would have
benefited. Sadly, the crud of Wednesday will be
remembered, not a great talent and terrific charity.
So one has to ask what will become of their
relationship. Not Chris Isaak and Ulmer - but future
charity work. Will Chris keep the chimp or girl? My
advice ... keep the chimp, he has a better arm.
You can bet that you will see Chris with another
girl on his arm at the next charity event. Let's just
hope that this one has a clean face.
For more San Francisco Society gossip and a
plethora of veritable who's-who's, be sure to read the
weekend edition of my column.
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