Locale Hub 4074 - Issue 2

What Parents Need to Know about Aussie Teenagers:
10 ways to help your kids thrive
Pornography, peer pressure, perfectionism
to conform to social media, split families,
self-harm, parental pressure to succeed,
cyber bullying and gaming are all concerns of
teenagers today, according to the ABC 4Corners
documentary Our Kids.
In a telling episode, Australian kids from the age of 12
year to 19 years shared a glimpse of their inner world
and what their hopes, fears and dreams are for the
future.
While many of the concerns are not dissimilar to
previous generation of teenagers, the explosion
of social media has expanded the horizons of our
teenagers and is having a dire impact on their selfimage,
increased exposure to world events such as
terrorism and over use of technology.
Cyber bullying is wreaking havoc with teenage girls as
well as the pressure to conform to the perfection that
girls are seeing their friends on Instagram, Snapchat
or Tumblr. A twelve year old girl in the program told
of her need to belong to the ‘in group’ and used social
media to compare herself to others – to make sure she
had the latest white converse, the triangle bikini and
Marc Jacob jeans and watch.
Another concern for teenagers was the added pressure
of parents wanting their kids to do well at school.
These kids were concerned that their parents are
putting huge, unnecessary pressure on kids to succeed
at school as well as to participate in an ever increasing
amount of extracurricular activities and tutoring. One
girl talked about how she was in the top maths group
but her mum doubted her. ‘I’m going to fail every test
according to mum’.
An alarming statistic in the program revealed that 30
per cent of 11-17 year old boys spend up to 3 hours
a day gaming – more on weekends and it is affecting
boys ability to use their time well. One boy said ‘I don’t
have time for homework’. They are mostly playing
the game ‘call of duty’ against each other in virtual
online worlds and while gaming can have positive
ramifications to help kids think outside the box,
problem solve and build a community, there needs
to be strong boundaries and rules in place from the
parents to balance it with other activities, including
homework and sport.
The major concern for this age group, especially
among girls is the widespread use of self-harm. Selfharm
is dubbed the ‘new anorexia’ and scarily enough
this age group do not see it as dysfunctional because
it is so rife. Around 135,000 kids have self-harmed this
past year. It is strongly related to poor mental health
and can take its toll on all aspects of the teenager’s life.
Mental health in our teenagers today is at an all-time
low with one in four teens currently have a mental
health condition (including anxiety, depression and
substance abuse) and a quarter also saying they are
unhappy with their lives.
Access to pornography is altering the view boys have
of girls. By the age of 10, every boy will have seen porn
online and this is impacting on sexual relationships
and intimacy between boys and girls.
The common thread throughout the episode that
relieved stresses and pressures in teenager’s lives was
physical activity and strong relationships.
So what role can parents play in the lives
of their children to ensure they thrive
though the teenage years?
1 Start early
By the time your child is a teenager, you have already
sown the seeds of independence, love, trust, respect,
good mental health, resilience, confidence, self-esteem
and habits around technology. You have already
built your relationship and while none of these are
irreparable with a teenagers, they are easier to develop
from the moment our children are born, than to
suddenly input when your children are teenagers.
2 Build a solid relationship from the start
Extensive and widespread research shows that
building a strong parent-child bond early is the
number one factor to raising a resilient child. When a
child feels loved, nurtured and a sense of significance
and belonging from just one adult (ideally a parent
or parent figure), they have stronger mechanisms
to bounce back from adverse situations than
their counterparts who have formed negative or
no relationships with an adult and to make good
decisions. The relationship starts the very moment you
hold your child in your arms and it looks at you. Right
from that moment, you are forming an important bond
that will last a lifetime. Like any relationship, it needs
to be nurtured and effort needs to be fed into it to
make it work. One on one time is important, speaking
respectfully, building the relationships on love and
cuddles, creating micro moments of connection and
acknowledging how special your child is to you, are all
important in building a strong relationships.
3 Set clear boundaries and expectations
Just like adults, children are creatures of habit and
love to follow rules when they are young. If you can