2016 PWBN Fall Issue Magazine

Your Life is Your Job
By Natasha Sherman
Let’s face it. We all want more of
something. Most of the time we can
even define what we want. I’m not
talking only about material things.
I’m also talking about the experiential
aspect of what we want and crave
and long for; joy, satisfaction, delight,
self-love, confidence, peace of mind,
fulfillment, the freedom to be us. If you
take a close look , when we go after the
material things, what we are really going
after is all those experiential feelings.
We know how to go after the material
things; work, save, ask, create strategies.
Most of us are not trained or skilled
in creating and sustaining the feeling
experience.
All the “things” out there can be fun,
delightful, enhancing and even enriching.
The problem that arises is that the
feelings are not sustained, so we keep
repeating ourselves or looking for new
and different ways to create them. It
is fleeting. You’re hungry again very
quickly.
This is one of the reasons we become
addicted to food, alcohol, coffee,
people, drugs, and behaviors. Once
is not enough. So we reach for our
“connection/fix” over and over and over
again.
All the great wisdom writings, past and
current, keep pointing to the “answers”
being inside of us. The answers are
within. The well that will consistently
quench our thirst is within. The access
to consistent joy, satisfaction, and peace
of mind is something we carry within us;
but we keep focusing outward instead of
inward.
So where do we start? It has to start with
a desire and a willingness to explore what
may not seem familiar or comfortable. I
often meet people who articulate a strong
state of dissatisfaction or even a dulling
sense of resignation, who intellectually
understand that it will require something
of them, and who even feel strongly that
they are unwilling to leave things the way
they are. Yet they are unwilling to take
even a first step toward a new possibility.
Sometimes it seems unfathomable. Our
comfort zone/our default position is so
seductively familiar that we are willing
to sacrifice the possibility of joy because
of a wall of resistance to something
unfamiliar.
The other place to start is to recognize
that your life is your job, not anyone
else’s. The quality of how you experience
your life is up to you. It just takes a
minute to look at the things you’ve
bought in the past that brought you
momentary joy but that soon became
ordinary. Look at the relationships
where you expected the other person to
make you happy. That usually ends up in
disappointment and blame. It is your job
to make you happy! And if you are happy,
chances are good that you will draw to
you circumstances and people that will
enhance your life.
Start to meditate. Take a mindfulness
training. Spend time reading about
and exploring the inner journey. Take
responsibility for your happiness. Turn
off your television and your phone for
a period of time each day. Get out in
nature. Watch children and animals.
Start a journal. There’s no right way to
do this but there are some ways that are
more effective than others. This is a
training. It is not a one and done process.
This is where working with a trained and
skilled Coach is useful. Athletes do it.
Why wouldn’t you? Don’t settle for a
life half lived.
Natasha Sherman is a Life Success Coach
at “Live by Design/Not by Default” -
www.NatashaSherman.com