2009-06

F L
A young police recruit was
asked during his exam: "What
would you do if you had to
arrest your own mother?"
"Call for back-up!" he
answered.
A couple who were going
away on holiday stood
at the airport check-in
desk.
The husband said to his
wife: “I wish I’d brought
the piano.”
“Why?” she asked,
“We’ve
got 10
bags
already.”
“Yes, I
know,”
he
replied, “But the tickets
were on the piano!”
Have you ever noticed how
anyone driving slower
than you is an idiot..
and anyone
driving
faster
than you
is a
maniac?
What lies at the
bottom of the
sea and
twitches?
A nervous
wreck!
What do
American
prisoners use
to
communicate
with each
other?
Cell phones!
After the ark came to a rest Noah
said to the animals: “God forth and
multiply”
All the animals went except for a
couple of snakes.
“Why are you still here?” he asked.
“We can’t multiply….we’re adders!”
they replied.
Lord, give me patience—RIGHT NOW!
A Sunday school teacher asked
her pupils what Jesus’ mother’s
name was.
“Mary,” one answered.
The teacher then asked: “What
was Jesus’ dad called?”
“Verge” replied the same child.
Confused, the teacher asked:
“Where did you get that from?”
“Well,” the child replied, “People
are always talking about ‘Verge
and Mary’!”
St Chads Church, Linden Avenue, Woodseats
email: office@stchads.org
Church Offices: 15 Camping Lane, Sheffield S8 0GB Page 5 website: www.stchads.org
Tel: (0114) 274 5086