Ventus by Karl Schroeder

Karl Schroeder / Ventus / Page 633
reasons given you by your makers. The pain you feel is the
pain that all conscious entities feel when they realize that their
destiny is in their own hands.’"
"And...?"
"I asked it, ‘What about you? Don't you feel this pain?’
‘No,’ it said. ‘I am not conscious, merely intelligent.
But you are conscious, and that means you must choose.’"
"I’m trying to choose. As far as I can see, Axel, there are
two possibilities for me: death, so simple, and such a relief; or
somehow accept the botched, half-finished thing I am and
continue. Neither seems very attractive right now."
"Then come with us."
She shook her head. "That’s not a good alternative. If I
go with you, it will give me a reason to live--finding Calandria,
I mean. She was my owner, even if the Government says I
own myself now. But don't you see, if I do that, I'll be going
back to old reasons to live, not finding new ones. I'll enslave
myself in a half-life of servitude. It won't be a real reason to
live."
Even as she said this, the Voice was smiling. "It is good,
though, to feel needed," she conceded.
Axel gently took her hand; it was warm enough to touch
now. "You misunderstand me," he said. "I'm not asking you to
help rescue Calandria because you owe it to her as your owner.
I'm asking you as a friend, to help Marya and myself, as
friends. And to rescue a friend of yours."
Tears formed in the Voice’s eyes. "You’re saying I’m
already free," she said. "That I can choose without enslaving
myself."
"Yes."
"I'm afraid," she said, hanging her head.
"There’s another reason why we want you to come," said