Joseph Brochure 2013_DEWYNTERS_

THE AMAZING DREAM CONTINUES... 

® 

SOUVENIR BROCHURE AND LIBRETTO 

Joseph Bro_Lib Sept 2013 (THE AW).indd 1 05/05/2016 17:54

“Way, way, back” – Over twenty years ago 

(and not long after our production began!) a respected critic 

wrote “I could watch this show a hundred times and then come 

back for more… It sweeps away all of the dreary sham that 

nowadays passes for theatre. It has everything: wonderful 

music and lyrics, splendid direction and choreography, 

characters and clowns, and one of the best storylines ever 

written. But above all it has honesty. It has a dedicated team 

who want to entertain, who dance like dervishes and sing their 

hearts out. You get a feeling that they love it. You have sort of a 

hunch that they love you. You know that they are going to give 

the theatre an evening that will be remembered.” 

As I sat down to write these notes, I felt that there was really 

little I could add – except to say that the critic was right. 

We do love it! Every principal performer, every brother, mother, 

slave, child, musician or stage hand who has travelled on this 

“juggernaut of joy” has been personally enriched by their 

association with this wonderful musical. 

This production is dedicated to the genius of Tim and Andrew, 

and is simply to say thank you to them from thousands of 

performers and millions of theatregoers all over the world, 

who have all come to believe that for two magical hours 

at least – “If you think it, want it, dream it, 

then it’s REAL – you are what you feel”. 

And finally it’s for David Land and 

Peter Lawrence from “a boy whose 

dreams came true”. 

Bill Kenwright 

Keith Jack (Joseph) 


Bill Kenwright presents 

® Technicolor is a registered trademark of the Technicolor Group of Companies. 

Lyrics TIM RICE 

Music ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER 

Director BILL KENWRIGHT 

Choreographer/Associate Director HENRY METCALFE 

Musical Director DAVID STEADMAN 

Designer SEAN CAVANAGH 

Lighting Designer NICK RICHINGS 

Produced by arrangement with The Really Useful Group 

This production is dedicated to 

the loving memory of David Land, 

without whom... 


Jess Conrad (Joseph) 

From its humble beginnings as a 

15-minute school production to the 

musical phenomenon we know and 

love today, Joseph has enchanted 

generation after generation of 

children and adults alike. 

With several incarnations of the show, 

spanning three record-breaking 

decades of performances, Joseph has 

always remained true to the charm 

and warmth of the original. 

Mike Holoway (Joseph) 


Arvid Larson (Joseph) 

Paulina Doncel (Mrs Potiphar), Richard Swerrun (Joseph) 


Julie Maguire (Narrator), 

Peter Lawrence (Jacob) 

James Earl Adair (Joseph), Ria Jones (Narrator), Robert Dallas (Pharaoh) 

C 


Chris Corcoran (Joseph), Francis Ruffelle (Narrator) 


David Ian (Joseph), Laura Webb (Mrs Potiphar) 

Vivienne Carlyle (Narrator) 

Shane Cortese (Pharaoh) 


Any Dream Will Do… 

The smash hit BBC show Any Dream Will Do introduced a whole new generation of fans to 

the music, excitement and Technicolor brilliance of Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice’s seminal musical. 

Watched by millions every Saturday night, the show was produced to find a leading man for the new 

West End production. After twelve nail-biting weeks, the public finally decided that Lee Mead would be 

the West End’s newest star. 

But for some of the other finalists this was only the beginning of the journey: Bill Kenwright recognised 

the extraordinary talent which was being nurtured week on week and decided they too should have the 

opportunity to perform live on stage in this wonderful show. To date, four of those finalists have appeared in 

the touring production of Joseph: Antony Hansen, Chris Barton, Keith Jack and, with his hugely popular 

portrayal of Joseph, Craig Chalmers. They were soon to be joined by another TV finalist – 

this time the BBC’s I’d Do Anything provided the opportunity for talented finalist Tara Bethan to join the 

company as narrator, at the same time as Antony Hansen took on the role of Pharaoh. 


Joseph Bro_Lib Sept 2013 (THE AW).indd 10 05/05/2016 17:54 

Joseph

Joseph Bro_Lib December 2008 (THE AW):Joseph Bro_Lib December 2008 (THE AW) 25/6/10 08:50 Page 11 

ACT 1 

PROLOGUE 

Narrator: 

Some folks dream of wonders they’ll do 

Before their time on this planet is through 

Some just don’t have anything planned 

They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand 

I don’t say who is wrong, who is right 

But if by chance you are here for the night 

All I need is an hour or two 

To tell the tale of a dreamer like you 

We all dream a lot – some are lucky, some are not 

But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it’s real 

You are what you feel 

But all that I say can be told another way 

In the story of a boy whose dream came true 

And he could be you 

Children & Female Ensemble: Brothers: 

Joseph Joseph is it really true Joseph Joseph is it really you 

Joseph Joseph is it really true Joseph Joseph is it really you 

Joseph Joseph 

Joseph Joseph 

ANY DREAM WILL DO 

Joseph: 

I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain 

To see for certain what I thought I knew 

Far, far away, someone was weeping 

But the world was sleeping 

All: 

Any dream will do 


Narrator, Children & FE: 

I wore my coat, 

I wore my coat 

with golden lining 

Ah 

Bright colours shining 

Ah 

wonderful and new 

And in the east 


the dawn was breaking 

Ah 

And the world was waking 

Ah 


Any dream will do (Bros/Jacob) 


Brothers & Jacob: 

A crash of drums, a flash of light Ah 

My golden coat flew out of sight 

All: 

The colours faded into darkness 


Narrator/Children/FE: 

I was left alone 

Ah, ah 


All (except Joseph): 

May I return 

May I return 

to the beginning 

Ah (Bros/Jacob) 

Ah (Narrator, Children & FE) 

The light is dimming 

light is dimming Ah (Bros/Jacob) 

Ah (Narrator/Children/FE) 

and the dream is too 


The world and I 


we are still waiting 

Ah 

Still hesitating 

Hesitating ah (Bros/Jacob) 







JACOB AND SONS 

Narrator: 

Way way back many centuries ago 

Not long after the Bible began 

Jacob lived in the land of Canaan 

A fine example of a family man 

Jacob, Jacob and sons 

Depended on farming to earn their keep 


Spent all of their days in the fields with sheep 

Jacob was the founder of a whole new nation 

Thanks to the number of children he’d had 

He was also known as Israel, but most of the time 

His sons and his wives used to call him Dad 


Men of the soil, of the sheaf and crook 


A remarkable family in anyone’s book 

Narrator, Brothers & Children: 

FE: 

Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel 

With Simeon and Levi the next in line 

Napthali and Isaachar with Asher and Dan Ah 

Zebulun and Gad took the total to nine Ah 



Benjamin and Judah, which leaves only one 



Joseph – Jacob’s favourite son 

Ah, ah 



Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob and sons 

JOSEPH’S COAT 

Jacob: 

Joseph’s mother, she was quite my favourite wife 

I never really loved another all my life 

And Joseph was my joy because 

He reminded me of her 

Narrator: 

Through young Joseph, Jacob lived his youth again 

Loved him, praised him, gave him all he could, but then 

It made the rest feel second best 

And even if they were – 

Brothers: 

Being told we’re also-rans 

Does not make us Joseph fans 

Narrator: 

But where they had really missed the boat is 

Brothers: 

We’re great guys but no-one seems to notice 

Narrator: 

Joseph’s charm and winning smile 

Failed to slay them in the aisle 

And his father couldn’t see the danger 

He could not imagine any danger 

He just saw in Joseph all his dreams come true 

Jacob wanted to show the world he loved his son 

To make it clear that Joseph was the special one 

So Jacob bought his son a coat 

A multi-coloured coat to wear 

Brothers: 

Joseph’s coat was elegant, the cut was fine 

The tasteful style was the ultimate in good design 

And this is why it caught the eye 

A king would stop and stare 

Narrator: 

And when Joseph tried it on 

He knew his sheepskin days were gone 

Narrator, Female Ensemble & Children: 

Such a dazzling coat of many colours 

How he loved his coat of many colours 

Narrator: 

In a class above the rest 

It even went well with his vest 

Such a stunning coat of many colours 

How he loved his coat of many colours 

It was red and yellow and green and 

Brown and blue 

Joseph’s brothers weren’t 

Too pleased with what they saw 

Brothers: 

We had never liked him 

All that much before 

And now this coat 

Has got our goat 

We feel life is unfair 


And when Joseph graced the scene 

His bothers turned a shade of green 

His astounding clothing took the biscuit 

Narrator & Brothers: 

Quite the smoothest person in the district 


I look handsome, I look smart 

I am a walking work of art 

Such a dazzling coat of many colours 

How I love my coat of many colours 

Narrator, Ensemble & Children: 

It was red and yellow 

and green and brown 

And scarlet and black and 

ochre and peach 

And ruby and olive and 

violet and fawn 

And lilac and gold and 

chocolate and mauve 

And cream and crimson and 

silver and rose 

And azure and lemon and 

russet and grey 

And purple and white and 

pink and orange 

And red and yellow and 

Joseph, Narrator, Ensemble & Children: 

green and brown and 

Scarlet and black and 






And cream and crimson 

and silver and rose 

And azure and lemon 

and russet and grey 

And purple and white 

and pink and orange 

And blue 

Choir: 

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba 


Oo-ee-oo oo-ee-oo 

Choir: 



Oo-ee-oo oo-ee-oo 

king would stop and stare 

Choir: 

Ah 

Ah 

Ah 

Ah 

yellow, green 

brown, blue 

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba 

Ba, ba 

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba 

Ba, ba 

Ah 

Ah 

Ah 


I look handsome, I look 

smart I am a 

Walking work of 

art. Such 

a dazzling coat of many 

colours. How 

I love my coat of many 

colours. It was 

red and yellow and 

JOSEPH’S DREAM 

Narrator: 

Joseph’s coat annoyed his brothers 

Brothers: 

But what makes us mad 

Are the things that Joseph tells us of the 

Dreams he’s often had 


I dreamed that in the fields one day 

The corn gave me a sign 

Your eleven sheaves of corn 

All turned and bowed to mine 

My sheaf was quite a sight to see 

A golden sheaf and tall 

Yours were green and second-rate 

And really rather small 

Brothers: 

This is not the kind of thing 

We brothers like to hear 

It seems to us that Joseph and his 

Dreams should disappear 


I dreamed I saw eleven stars 

The sun, the moon and sky 

Bowing down before my star 

It made me wonder why 

Could it be that I was born 

For higher things than you? 

A post in someone’s government? 

A ministry or two 

Brothers: 

Ha the dreams of our dear brother are 

The decade’s biggest yawn 

His talk of stars and golden sheaves 

Is just a load of corn 

Not only is he tactless but 

He’s also rather dim 

For there’s eleven of us and 

There’s only one of him 

The dreams of course will not come true 

That is, we think they won’t come true 

That is, we hope they won’t come true 

What if he’s right all along? Aaagh! 

The dreams make more than crystal clear 

The writing on the wall 

Means that Joseph some day soon 

Will rise above us all 

The accuracy of the dreams 

We brothers do not know 

But one thing we are sure about 

The dreamer 

Has to go. Ha! 

Poor, Poor Joseph 

Narrator: 

Next day, far from home 

The brothers planned the repulsive crime 

Brothers: 

Let us grab him now 

Do him in, while we’ve got the time 

Narrator: 

This they did and made the most of it 

Tore his coat and flung him in a pit 

Brothers: 

Let us leave him here 

All alone, and he’s bound to die 

Narrator: 

When some Ishmaelites 

A hairy crew, came riding by 

In a flash the brothers changed their plan 

Brothers: 

We need cash. Let’s sell him if we can 


Poor, poor Joseph, what’cha gonna do? 

Things look bad for you, hey, what’cha gonna do? 

Brothers: 

Could you use a slave 

You hairy bunch of Ishmaelites? 

Young, strong, well-behaved 

Going cheap, and he reads and writes 

Ishmaelites: 

“Going cheap, and he reads and writes” 

Narrator: 

In a trice the dirty deal was done 

Silver coins for Jacob’s favourite son 

Then the Ishmaelites 

Galloped off with a slave in tow 

Off to Egypt where Joseph was not keen to go 

It wouldn’t be a picnic he could tell 


And I don’t speak Egyptian very well 

Brother: 

Ha ha ha ha ha 

Narrator: 

Joseph’s brothers tore 

His precious multi-coloured coat 

Having ripped it up 

They next attacked a passing goat 

Soon the wretched creature was no more 

They dipped his coat in blood and guts and gore 

Narrator, Ensemble & Children: 

Oh now brothers, how low can you stoop? 



Joseph 

You make a sordid group, hey, how low can you stoop? 

Poor, poor Joseph, sold to be a slave 

Situation’s grave, hey, sold to be a slave 

ONE MORE ANGEL IN HEAVEN 

Brothers: 

Father, we’ve something to tell you, a story of our time 

A tragic but inspiring tale of manhood in its prime 

You know you had a dozen sons – 

Well now that’s not quite true 

But feel no sorrow, do not grieve 

He would not want you to 

There’s one more angel in heaven 

There’s one more star in the sky 

Joseph we’ll never forget you 

It’s tough but we’re gonna get by 

There’s one less place at our table 

There’s one more tear in my eye 

But Joseph the things that you stood for 

Like love and peace never die 

Joseph died as he wished to Choir: 

He answered duty’s call 

He single handed fought the beast Gol darn it, gol darn it 

That would have killed us all Yip aye-ay 

His blood-stained coat is tribute to 

His final sacrifice 

His body may be past its peak Gol darn it, gol darn it 

But his soul’s in paradise 

Yip aye-ay 








Like truth and light never die 

We’ve seen the last of brother Jo 

Lets all join hands a dosie do 





Solo Brother: 

When I think of his last great battle 

A lump comes to my throat 

It takes a man who knows no fear Gol darn it, Gol darn it 

to wrestle with a goat 

Yip aye-ay 

Carve his name with pride and courage Ah 

Brothers: 

Let no tear be shed 

If he had not laid down his life 

We all would now be dead 

Choir & Brothers: 








Like democracy never die 




Camel: 

Poor poor Joseph what’cha gonna do? 

Things look bad for you 

What’cha gonna do? 

Sphinx: 

Poor poor Joseph what’cha gonna do? 

Things look bad for you 


POTIPHAR 

Choir: 

Joseph was taken to Egypt in chains and sold 

Where he was bought by a captain named Potiphar 

Where he was bought by a captain named Potiphar 

Narrator & Male Ensemble: 

Potiphar had very few cares 

He was one of Egypt’s millionaires 

Having made a fortune buying shares in pyramids 

Potiphar had made a huge pile 

Owned a large percentage of the Nile 

Meant that he could really live in style 

And he did 

Narrator & Choir: 

Joseph was an unimportant 

Slave who found he liked his master 

Consequently worked much harder 

Even with devotion 

Poitphar could see that Joseph 

Was a cut above the average 

Made him leader of his household 

Maximum promotion 

Narrator & Male Ensemble: 

Potiphar was cool and so fine 

But his wife would never toe the line 

It’s all there in chapter thirty-nine 

Of Genesis 

She was beautiful but evil 

Saw a lot of men against his will 

He would have to tell her that she still 

Was his 


Joseph’s looks and handsome figure 

Had attracted her attention 

Every morning she would beckon 

Mrs. Potiphar: 

Come and lie with me love 

Narrator: 

Joseph wanted to resist her 

’Till one day she proved too eager 

Joseph cried in vain 


Please stop I don’t believe in free love 


Potiphar was counting sheckels 

In his den below the bedroom 

When he heard a mighty rumpus 

Clattering above him 

Suddenly he knew his riches 

Couldn’t buy him what he wanted 

Gold would never make him happy 

If she didn’t love him 

Narrator: 

Letting out a mighty roar 

Potiphar burst through the door 

Potiphar: 

Joseph, I’ll see you rot in jail 

The things you have done are beyond the pale 


Poor, poor Joseph, locked up in a cell 

Things ain’t going well, hey, locked up in a cell 





Close Every Door 


Close every door to me 

Hide all the world from me 

Bar all the windows 

And shut out the light 

Do what you want with me 

Hate me and laugh at me 

Darken my daytime 

And torture my night 

If my life were important I 

Would ask will I live or die? 

But I know the answers lie 

Far from this world 


Keep those I love from me 

Children of Israel 

Are never alone 

For I know I shall find 

My own peace of mind 

For I have been promised 

A land of my own 

Children: 

La x 43 


Just give me a number 

Instead of my name 

Forget all about me 

And let me decay 

I do not matter 

I’m only one person 

Destroy me completely 

And throw me away 

If my life were important I 

Would ask will I live or die? 

But I know the answers lie 

Far from this world 

Joseph & Choir: 



Children of Israel 

Are never alone 

For we know we shall find 

Our own peace of mind 

For we have been promised 

A land of our own 

GO, GO, GO JOSEPH 

Narrator: 

Joseph’s luck was really out 

His spirit and his fortune low 

Alone he sat, alone he thought 

Of happy times he used to know 

Prison walls were wet and black 

Chains were heavy weighed him down 

A candle was his only light 

Hungry rats the only sound 

First Man: 

Hey dreamer, don’t be so upset 

Second Man: 

Hey Joseph, you’re not beaten yet 

Narrator: 

Go, go, go Joseph you know what they say 

Hang on now Joseph you’ll make it some day 

Sha la la Joseph you’re doing fine 

You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time 

Narrator: 

In the prison cell with Joseph 

Were two very frightened men 

Baker & Butler: 

We don’t think that we will ever 

See the light of day again 

Hey Joseph, help us if you can 

We’ve had dreams that we don’t understand 

Narrator: 

Both men were servants of Pharaoh the King 

Both in the doghouse for doing their thing 

One was a baker, a cook in his prime 

One was a butler, the Jeeves of his time 


Tell me of your dreams my friends 

And I will tell you what they show 

Though I cannot guarantee 

To get it right, I’ll have a go 

Narrator: 

First the butler, trembling took the floor 

Nervously he spoke of what he saw 

Butler: 

There I was standing in front of a vine 

I picked some grapes and I crushed them to wine 

I gave some to Pharaoh who drank from my cup 

I tried to interpret but I had to give up 


You will soon be free, old chap 

So do not worry any more 

The king will let you out of here 

You’ll buttle as you did before 

Narrator: 

Next the baker rose to tell his dream 

Hoping it would have a similar theme 

Baker: 

There I was standing with baskets of bread 

High in the sky I saw birds overhead 

Who flew to my baskets and ate every slice 

Give me the message - like his, would be nice 


Sad to say your dream is not 

The kind of dream I’d like to get 

Pharaoh has it in for you 

Your execution date is set 

Don’t rely on all I said I saw 

It’s just that I have not been wrong before 

Ensemble: 



Sha la la Joseph you’re still in your prime 






Go, go, go, 


Ahead of your time 


Go go go Jo 

ACT 2 

PHARAOH STORY 

Narrator: 

Pharaoh, he was 

A powerful man 

With the ancient world 

In the palm of his hand 

To all intents and purposes he 

Was Egypt with a capital E 

Whatever he did 

He was showered with praise 

If he cracked a joke 

Then you chortled for days 

No one had rights or a 

Vote but the king 

In fact you might say 

He was fairly right-wing 

When Pharaoh’s around 

Then you get down on the ground 

If you ever find yourself near Ramases 

Get down on your knees 

Female Ensemble & Children: 

A Pharaoh’s story 




Narrator: 

Down at the other 

End of the scale 

Joseph is still 

Doing time in jail 

For even though he is 

In with the guards 

A lifetime in prison 

Seems quite on the cards 

But if my analysis of 

The position is right 

At the end of the tunnel 

There’s a glimmer of light 

For all of a sudden 

There are visions and things 

Disturbing the sleep 

Of both peasants and kings 

Strange as it seems 

There’s been a run of crazy dreams 

And a man who can interpret 

Could go far - could become a star 

Female Ensemble & Children: 

Could be famous 

Could be a big success 


Could be a big success 

Narrator: 

FE: 

Strange as it seems 

There’s been a 

Run of crazy dreams And a man who 

can interpret 

Ah 

Could go far 

Could become 

a star 


Could be a big success Could be a star 


Could be a star Could be a star 

POOR, POOR 

PHARAOH 

Narrator: 

Guess what? In his bed Pharaoh 

Had an uneasy night 

He had had a dream that pinned him 

To his sheets with fright 

No-one knew the meaning of this dream 

What to do, whatever could it mean 

Then his butler said 

Butler: 

I know of a bloke in jail 

Who is hot on dreams 

Could explain old Pharaoh’s tale 

Narrator: 

Pharaoh said 

Pharaoh: 

Fetch this Joseph man 

I need him to help me if he can 


Poor, poor Pharaoh 


Dreams are haunting you, hey 


Poor, poor Pharaoh 


Dreams are haunting you, hey 


Narrator: 

Choir: 

Chained and bound, afraid, alone 

Ah 

Joseph stood before the throne 

Ah 


My service to Pharaoh has begun Ah 

Tell me your problems, mighty one 

SONG OF THE PHARAOH 

(SEVEN FAT COWS) 

Pharaoh: 

Well I was wandering along the banks of the river 

When seven fat cows came up out of the Nile, a-ha 

And right behind these fine healthy animals came 

FE & Choir: 

Bap shu wa du wa bap bap shu wa du wa 

Pharaoh: 

Seven other cows, skinny and vile, a-ha 

And then thin cows ate the fat cows which I 

Thought would do them good, uh-huh 

But it didn’t make them fatter like such 

A monster supper should 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

Well the thin cows were as thin 

As they had ever, ever, ever, ever been 

Well this dream has got me baffled 

Hey, Joseph, what does it mean? 

Now you know that kings ain’t stupid 

But I don’t have a clue 

So don’t be cruel Joseph 

Help me now I beg of you 

And I was standing doing nothing in a field out of town 

When I saw seven beautiful ears of corn, a-ha 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

They were ripe, they were golden and 

You’ve guessed it 

Right behind them came seven other ears 

That were tattered and torn, a-ha 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

Then the bad corn ate the good corn 

Man they came up from behind, yes they did 

FE & Choir: 


Phar 

Now 

It’s re 

FE & 

Bap s 

Phar 

Well 

As ba 

Well 

Treat 

Hey, 

Won’ 

What 

drea 

Oh, y 

Repe 

PH 

Jose 

Seve 

Years 

Your 

To st 

After 

Egyp 

And f 

With 

Noble 

What 

Jose 

All th 

Are a 

Jose 

And I 

What 

Find 

With 

But w 

I just 

Jose 

Who 

I just 

Who 

I just 

STO 

Narra 

Phara 

Phar 

Well 

This 

Who’ 

Could 

Josep 

I hav 

You s 

You s 

Narra 

Phara 

A chi 

Wher 

To cu 

Josep 

And a 

A cha 

A me 

Josep 

Phara 

Josep 

Egyp 

Narra 

Seve 

Were 

Josep 

Read 

Seve 

Egyp 

The f 

In his 

Choir 

Josep 

All th 

We’re 

We w 

Phar 

Josep 

Old b 

I was 

You’l 

Choir 

Josep 

All th 

We’re 

We w 



own 

Pharaoh: 

Now Joseph here’s the punch line 

It’s really gonna blow your mind 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

FE: 

Well the bad corn was 

As bad as it had ever, ever, ever, ever been 

Well this dream has got me all shook up 

Treat me nice and tell me what it means 

Hey, hey, hey Joseph 

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

Won’t you tell poor old Pharaoh ba x 14 

What does this crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy 

dream mean? Ba x 16 

Oh, yeah 

screams 

Repeat 

PHARAOH’S DREAM EXPLAINED 


FE & Choir: 

Seven years of bumper crops are on their way 

Years of plenty, endless wheat and tons of hay 

Your farms will boom, there won’t be room 

To store the surplus food you grow 

After that, the future doesn’t look so bright Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

Egypt’s luck will change completely overnight Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

And famine’s hand will stalk the land Oo-ee-oo oo-ee-oo 

With food an all-time low 

Ba ba ba 

Noble king, there is no doubt 

What your dreams are all about 

Joseph, FE & Choir: 

All these things you saw in your pajamas 

Are a long range forecast for your farmers 


And I’m sure it’s crossed your mind Ah 

What it is you have to find 

Ah 

Find a man to lead you through the famine Ah 

With a flair for economic planning 

Ah 

But who this man would be 

I just don’t know 

Joseph & Ensemble: 

Who this man would be 


Who this man would be 

I just don’t Jo! 

STONE THE CROWS 

Narrator: 

Pharaoh said 

Pharaoh: 

Well stone the crows 

This Joseph is a clever kid 

Who’d have thought that fourteen cows 

Could mean the things he said they did? 

Joseph, you must help me further 

I have found a job for you 

You shall lead us through this crisis 

You shall be my number two 

Narrator: 

Choir & FE: 

Pharaoh told his guards to fetch oo-ee-oo -ee 

A chisel from the local store oo-ee-oo 

Whereupon he ordered them oo-ee-oo 

To cut the chains that Joseph wore ee-oo-ee-oo 

Joseph got a royal pardon 

oo-ee-oo -ee 

And a host of splendid things oo-ee-oo 

A chariot of gold, a cloak 

oo-ee-oo 

A medal and some signet rings ee-oo-ee-oo 



Pharaoh’s number two 



Egypt looks to you 

Narrator & Female Ensemble: Choir: 

Seven summers on the trot oo-ee-oo 

Were perfect just as Joseph said ee-oo-ee-oo 

Joseph saw that food was gathered oo-ee-oo-ee 

Ready for the years ahead 

oo-ee-oo 

Seven years of famine followed oo-ee-oo-ee 

Egypt didn’t mind a bit oo-ee-oo 

The first recorded rationing oo-ee-oo 

In history was a hit 

ee-oo-ee-oo 

Choir & Female Ensemble: 

Joseph how can we ever say 

All that we want to about you? 

We’re so glad that you came our way 

We would have perished without you 

Pharaoh: 

Joseph we are the perfect team 

Old buddies, that’s you and me 

I was wise to have chosen you 

You’ll be wise to agree 



All that we want to about you? 


We would have perished without you 

But who this man 

would be 


But who this man 

would be 


I just don’t Jo! 

Pharaoh: 

We were in a jam 

Would have baffled Abraham 

But now we’re a partnership 

It’s just a piece of cake 


Greatest man since Noah 

Only goes to shoah 

Joseph & Pharaoh: 

Anyone from anywhere can make it 

If they get a lucky break 

Narrator: 

Choir: 

This could be a happy ending oo-ee-oo-ee 

Perfect place to stop the show oo-ee-oo 

Joseph after all has gone oo-ee-oo-ee 

About as far as he can go oo-ee-oo 

But I’m sure that Jacob and 

His other sons have crossed your mind 

How had famine hit the family Joseph left behind? 

KING OF MY HEART 

Pharaoh: 

Oh – I know they treat me nice 

Any place is paradise 

When I walk in the room 

They tell me they need me, pretending it’s burning love 

But way, way down I feel so bad 

My heart is cold and sad 

As silent as the tomb 

What can a fool such as I do to earn their love? 

It’s all too much 

They won’t let me be 

I must escape 

The wonder of me 

I feel I’m acting in a play 

Where every line I’m forced to say 

Foretells impending doom 

I’m playing for keeps but I know I must learn my part 

Learn to be king of my heart 

Oh lordy lordy lordy lordy 

How I yearn to be king of my heart 

I won’t surrender 

To suspicious minds 

I must break 

The tie that binds 

I’ll break, break away from shallow things 

From the lonely world of kings 

A world of golden gloom 

I’ll follow that dream make a tender and brand new start 

Then I’ll be king of my heart 

The King of this old wooden heart 

Then I’ll be king of my… 

Heart 

THOSE CANAAN DAYS 

Jacob: 

Do you remember the good years in Canaan? 

The summers were endlessly gold 

The fields were a patchwork of clover 

The winters were never too cold 

We’d stroll down the boulevards together 

And everything round us was fine 

Now the fields are dead and bare 

All: 

No joie de vivre anywhere 

Et maintenant we drink a bitter wine 

Brothers: 

Those Canaan days we used to know 

Where have they gone, where did they go? 

Eh bien, raise your berets 

To those Canaan days 

Jacob: 

Do you remember those wonderful parties? 

The splendour of Canaan’s cuisine 

Our extravagant, elegant soirees 

The gayest the Bible has seen 

It’s funny but since we lost Joseph 

We’ve gone to the other extreme 

No-one comes to dinner now 

All: 

We’d only eat them anyhow 

I even find I’m missing Joseph’s dreams 

Brothers: 





Jacob: 

It’s funny but since we lost Joseph 

All: 

We’ve gone to the other extreme 

Perhaps we all misjudged the lad 

Perhaps he wasn’t quite that bad 

And how we miss his entertaining dreams 

Brothers: 





Jacob: 





THE BROTHERS COME TO EGYPT / 

GROVEL, GROVEL 

Narrator: 

So back in Canaan the future looked rough 

Jacob’s family were finding it tough 

Brothers: 

For the famine has caught us unprepared 

We are thin, we are ill, we are getting scared 

Its enough to make anyone weep 

We are down to our very last sheep 

We will starve if we hang around here 

And in Egypt there’s food going spare 

They’ve got corn 

Fruit and drinks 

And if we have time 

We can see the Sphinx 

Choir & Narrator: 

So they finally decided to go 

Off to Egypt to see brother Jo 

Where they all lay before Joseph’s feet 

Brothers: 

Mighty prince give us something to eat 

Choir & Narrator: 

Joseph found it a strain not to laugh because 

Not a brother among them knew who he was 

I shall now take them all for a ride 

After all they have tried fratricide 


Choir: 

I dreamed that in the fields one day 

The corn gave me a sign 

Your eleven sheaves of corn 

All turned and bowed to mine 

I dreamed I saw eleven stars la la la la la la la la la la la 

The sun the moon and sky la la la la la la la la la la la 

Bowing down before my star la la la la la la la la la la la 

And now I realize why 

la la la la la la la la la la la 

How do I know where you come from? 

You could be spies 

Telling me that you are hungry 

That could be lies 

How do I know who you are? 

Why do you think I should help you? 

Would you help me? 

Brothers: 

Yes 


Why on earth should I believe you? 

I’ve no guarantee 

Brothers: 


Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall Grovel, grovel, grovel 

Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl Grovel, grovel, grovel 

Brothers: 

We are just eleven brothers 

Good men and true 

Though we know we count for nothing 

When up next to you 

Honesty’s our middle name 

Life is slowly ebbing from us 

Hope’s almost gone 

It’s getting very hard to see us 

From sideways on 

Brothers: 


Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall Grovel, grovel, grovel 



I rather like the way you’re talking 

Astute and sincere 

Suddenly your tragic story 

It gets me right here 

Brothers: 

This is what we hoped he’d say 


Brothers: 

All this tugging at my heartstrings 

Grovel, grovel 

Seems quite justified 

Cringe, bow, stoop 

I shall give you what you came for 

Worship, worship 

And lots more beside 

beg, kneel, sponge 

Brothers: 


Thank you, thank you, cringe, bow, stoop, fall Grovel, grovel, grovel 


Narrator: 

Joseph handed them sackloads of food 

And they grovelled in base gratitude 


Then unseen, Joseph nipped out around the back 

And planted a cup in young Benjamin’s sack 

When the brothers were ready to go 

Joseph turned to them all 

With a terrible stare and said 


No No No No No 

WHO’S THE THIEF? 


Stop, you robbers- 

Your little number’s up 

One of you has stolen 

My precious golden cup 



Narrator: 

Joseph started searching 

Through his brothers’ sacks 

Everyone was nervous 

No-one could relax 

Children: 

Who’s the thief? 




Narrator & Children (answering): 

Is it Reuben? No 

Is it Simeon? No 

Is it Napthali? No 

Is it Dan? No 

Is it Asher? No 

Is it Isaachar? No 

Is it Levi? No 


Who’s the man? No 

Narrator & Children (answering): 

Is it Zebulon? No 

Is it Gad? No 

Is it Judah? No 

Is it him? 

Could it be, could it be 



Could it possibly be Benjamin? 

Children: 

Yes Yes Yes 


Benjamin, you nasty youth 

Your crime has shocked me to the core 

Never in my whole career 

Have I encountered this before 

Guards, seize him! Lock him in a cell 

Throw the keys into the Nile as well 


Each of the brothers fell to his knees 

Brothers: 

Show him some mercy, oh mighty one, please 

He would not do that, he must have been framed 

Jail us and beat us, we should blamed 

La x 16 

BENJAMIN CALYPSO 

Brothers: 

Oh no - not he 

How you can accuse him is a mystery 

Save him - take me 

Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree 

One Brother: 

I hear de steel drums sing their song 

Dey’re singing man you know you’ve got it wrong 

I hear de voice of de yellow bird 

Singin from de tree dis is quite absurd 

Brothers: 

Oh, yes 

It’s true 

Benjamin is straighter dan de big bamboo 

No ifs 

No buts 

Benjamin is honest as coconuts 

One Brother: 

Sure as de tide wash de golden sand 

Benjamin is an innocent man 

Sure as bananas need the sun 

We are de criminal guilty ones 

Brothers & Female Ensemble: 




Benjamin is straighter dan de tall palm tree 

Brothers & Female Ensemble: 




Benjamin is straighter than the tall palm tree 

La la la la la la la la 

JOSEPH ALL THE TIME 

Narrator: 

Joseph knew by this his brothers now were honest men 

The time had come at last to reunite them all again 


Can’t you recognize my face? Is it hard to see 

That Joseph who you thought was dead, your brother 

It’s me 


Joseph, Joseph, is it really true? 

Joseph, Joseph, is it really you? 

Narrator & Brothers: 

Joseph, Joseph, is it really true? 

Joseph, Joseph, is it really you? 

Narrator, Brothers & Choir: 

Joseph, Joseph 

Jacob In Egypt 

Narrator, Choir & FE: 


All that we want to about you 


Brothers: 

So Jacob came to Egypt 

No longer feeling old 

And Joseph came to meet him 

In his chariot 

Of gold 

Of gold 

Of gold 

Of gold 

FINALE: ANY DREAM WILL DO/ 

GIVE ME MY COLOURED COAT 


Choir & FE: 

I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain 

To see for certain what I thought I knew 

Far far away, someone was weeping 

But the world was sleeping 


I wore your coat 

He wore your coat 


Ah 


Ah 






Ah 

any dream will do 


A crash of drums 

A flash of light 





Choir: 


Ah 



May I return 

May I return 




The light is dimming light is dimming Ah 

(Bros/Jacob) 




The world and I, 



Ah 



Any dream will do Any dream will do 

All: 

Give me my coloured coat 

My amazing coloured coat 


My amazing coloured 

Coat 

Repeat 

SONG OF THE PHARAOH 

(REPRIEVE) 

Pharaoh: 

I was standing doing nothing in a field out of town 

When I saw seven beautiful ears of corn, a-ha 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

They were ripe, they were golden and 

You’ve guessed it 

Right behind them came seven other ears 

That were tattered and torn, a-ha 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

Then the bad corn ate the good corn 

Man they came up from behind, yes they did 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

Now Joseph here’s the punch line 

It’s really gonna blow your mind 

FE & Choir: 


Pharaoh: 

FE: 

Well the bad corn was 

As bad as it had ever, ever, ever, ever been 

Well this dream has got me all shook up 

Treat me nice and tell me what it means 

Hey, hey, hey Joseph 

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba 

Won’t you tell poor old Pharaoh ba x 14 

What does this crazy, crazy, crazy, 

crazy dream mean? Ba x 16 

Oh, yeah 

screams 


Reuben was the eldest of the children of Israel 

With Simeon and Levi the next in line 

Nepthali and Isaachar with Asher and Dan 

Zebulum and Gad took the total to nine 


Benjamin and Judah which leaves only one 


Joseph, Jacob’s favourite son 

Jacob, Brothers & Choir: 




Choir: 

I look handsome, I look smart Ah 

I am a walking work of art 

Ah 

Such a dazzling coat of many colours Ah 

How I love my coat of many colours 

Narrator, Ensemble & Choir: 

It was red and yellow and 

green and brown 

And scarlet and black and 






And cream and crimson and 

silver and rose 

And azure and lemon and 

russet and grey 

And purple and white and 

pink and orange 

and blue 

Go go go 

Joseph, Choir, Narrator & Tenors: 

Joseph you know what they say 




Go go go 

Joseph you know what they say 






Go go go Jo! 


Just give me a number instead of my name 

Forget all about me and let me decay 

I do not matter I’m only one person 

Destroy me completely and throw me away 

If my life were important 

I would ask will I live or die? 

But I know the answers lie far from this world 

Joseph, Narrator, FE, Pharaoh & Choir: 



Children of Israel are never alone 

For we know we shall find 

Our own peace of mind 

For we have been promised 

A land of our own 


Choir, Brothers, Jacob & FE: 




Ah 






any dream will do 


A crash of drums 

A flash of light 







May I return 


The light is dimming 


The world and I, 




All: 


My amazing coloured coat 


My amazing coloured 

Coat 

Ah 


Ah 

Choir: 

Ah 


May I return 



light is dimming Ah (Bros/Jacob) 




Ah 




DREAM ON 

DREAM ON was the brainchild of producer/director Bill Kenwright, who came up with the concept for an album to 

celebrate the phenomenal talent witnessed on Any Dream Will Do, featuring Craig Chalmers 

and some of his fellow contestants from the show. Bill Kenwright said: ‘When I decided to 

make the album with Craig, I phoned half a dozen of my other favourite lads from the show. 

To a man they all replied “great” when I asked them to support Craig on the album. 

It was a real joy for me to see them all together in the studio. They looked sensational. 

They sounded terrific. What more could anyone want?’ Bill Kenwright went on to present the 

boys in a spectacular one-off live concert at the London Palladium. The phenomenal evening, which 

was enjoyed by a star-studded packed out audience, included songs from Joseph as well as brilliant 

versions of contemporary pop classics and a brand new track written especially for the boys by hit song writer 

Geoff Morrow. The Dream On album proved to be a fitting tribute to Any Dream Will Do and the 

Joseph phenomenon, becoming a chart hit within its first two weeks of release. 


Clockwise from top left: Jess Conrad, Stephen Gately from Boyzone, Mike Holoway, Darren Day, David Ian 

Left: Ian ‘H’ Watkins from Steps 

some of the stars who have 

worn the technicolored coat 


A SELECTION OF REVIEWS 

FROM THE 2003 

WEST END PRODUCTION 

WHAT THE PAPERS SAY 

and from the 

record-Breaking 

national tour 

“JOSEPH is back in all its glory… 

AN AMAZING DREAM SHOW. 

Daily Mail 

I was thrilled... 

A SUPERB PIECE OF ENTERTAINMENT. 

Daily Mirror 

ENORMOUSLY ENJOYABLE. 

An evening entirely without the 

snobbery that so often infects theatre. 

REAL FUN. 

The Guardian 

THERE’S SUCH A LOT TO SCREAM 

ABOUT. Bill Kenwright’s legendary, 

indestructible production is a marvel of 

precision, detail and breakneck pacing. 

London Metro 

STILL AMAZING. 

I don’t think TIM RICE and 

ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER have 

done anything better. 

AN EVENING OF REAL PLEASURE. 

Daily Telegraph 

THIS ENCHANTING MUSICAL EXPLODES 

LIKE GLITTERING FIREWORKS. 

Bill Kenwright directs and he turns 

it into a brilliant celebration of 

words, music and colour. 

The best kind of feel good show: 

unashamed, warm-hearted 

and irresistible. 

Sunday Times 

A TECHNICOLOR TRIUMPH. 

This wonderfully warm-hearted 

scenically lavish, deliriously 

droll revival… 

MAKES YOU CRY WITH 

HAPPINESS. 

The Independent 

You won’t find a more enjoyably 

upbeat show in town. 

The Times 

A DREAM COME TRUE. 

IT IS UTTERLY IRRESISTIBLE. 

Mail on Sunday 

A SMASH HIT. 

Colourful, energetic, full of amusing 

touches and tuneful as ever. 

Opening night saw the audience on 

their feet applauding, cheering and 

stamping in an ovation which 

threatened to raise the roof. 

Surrey Advertiser 

JOSEPH IS JUST THE TICKET. 

This driving, rousing, dynamic 

production ended with a standing 

ovation and then had the audience 

dancing in the aisles during the encore. 

West Sussex County Times 

Bill Kenwright’s production of JOSEPH 

is amazing to behold and listen to. 

A REALLY FIRST CLASS MUSICAL. 

The applause seemed to go on forever 

with encore after encore demanded by 

the audience. 

Reigate Independent 

FANTASTIC. 

The sheer vitality of the talented 

performers, the virtuosity of their singing 

and movement and the sheer artistry of 

the principals brought the entire 

audience to its feet clamouring for more. 

The Stage 

THE HISTORY BOOKS WILL 

EVENTUALLY LABEL IT 

THE SHOW OF THE CENTURY. 

Entertainment and News 

I WAS BOWLED OVER by the sheer 

unabashed sexy glamour. The score is 

enjoyably bouncy with a delicious blend 

of musical genres from Parisian apache 

to country and western. 

Richmond and Twickenham Times 

JOSEPH is undoubtedly the best musical 

to have come out of the Tim Rice and 

Andrew Lloyd Webber partnership. An 

exuberant, expansive spectacle with 

never a dull moment. 

A WINNER WHICH 

SHOULD NOT BE MISSED. 

” 

Manchester Evening News 




Stephen Gately (Joseph) 

Eaton James (Joseph) 


James Head (Jacob) 

Graeme Smith (Joseph), Ashley Keech (Butler), 

Glen Harper (Baker) 



Lyrics reprinted by kind 

permission of 

The Really Useful Group. 

First published August 2003. 

This edition published 

July 2010, reprinted 

September 2013 

Designed and printed by 

Dewynters © 


Excerpt from the book ~ 

‘A panorama of popular theatre in Britain in the twentieth century.’ 

In the final paragraphs of the final chapter of John Moore’s 

wonderful celebration of the last vintage Gaiety theatre 

on the British mainland, the Gaiety Theatre, Ayr, he writes ~ 

“The brightest most encouraging event of the 

new millennium was the return of 

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT. 

Once again it was brilliant, encapsulating 

everything that is good in theatre. 

Truly, in a century of the Gaiety there had 

simply been no other touring show 

remotely like Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 

JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT. 

as presented by Bill Kenwright.”

Joseph Brochure 2013_DEWYNTERS_

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