GTMarApr

Involuntary estrangement - a living bereavement? - by Julia Meanwell
The very painful matter of
family estrangement is one
that is sadly close to my
heart. I find it astonishing
to comprehend that in the
UK the current estimation
of grandparents being
denied access to their
grandchildren is one
million. This heart-rending
statistic is usually as a result
of family breakdown or
bereavement.
So many questions, how did
this happen, why did this
happen? Feelings of anger,
pain, helplessness and
confusion are overflowing
at finding yourself in this
situation. The heartbreak of
being kept away from your
grandchildren is undeniable
but sadly with fragmented
families on the increase it is
becoming more common.
Grandparent estrangement
does not benefit the wellbeing
of the grandchildren
unless of course there is
good reason such as the
presence of violence or
abuse.
I have noticed several
articles recently about
celebrity family rifts. The
singer Olly Murs and his
twin brother Ben have
not spoken for several
years and it has torn their
family apart. After being
estranged from her family
for 9 years ex-Spice Girl
Mel B has decided to
resolve the feud with her
relatives saying that she
realised ‘life was too short’.
Boxer Amir Khan’s wife has
demanded that he choose
between her and his family
after a particularly bitter
feud. Whatever the reasons
for these three feuds are
they all have one thing in
common – children missing
out on interaction with their
grandparents.
It is difficult to understand
how people who were
always so close could end
up so far apart. Healing
the rift can feel like an
impossibility especially if
the cause of the relationship
breakdown seems unjust or
confusing. The conflict can
really only be resolved if
both parties are prepared
to talk. Although if this is
unlikely then seeking help
via mediation could be a
way forward.
If you are currently
experiencing the distress
of separation from your
grandchildren, then there
is support out there for
you. The Grandparents
Plus Support Network
www.grandparentsplus.
org.uk brings together
grandparents who
have lost contact with
their grandchildren, to
share experiences and
provide them with useful
information. They provide
a Grandparents Contact
Helpline on 0300 033 7015
which is open on Mondays
and Fridays only between
2 – 4pm. Their team of
trained staff and volunteers
can offer confidential
support.
Local counsellor Julia
Meanwell, has been
in practice for over 20
years, she has a wealth of
experience, empathy and
understanding to offer
clients.
Julia began her counselling
career as a relationship
counsellor with Relate
which incorporated working
in television and radio.
Julia can be contacted via
her website:
juliameanwellcounselling.co.uk
email: julia.meanwell@
gmail.com or give her a
call on 07714 280083.
See life more clearly with safe cataracts treatments
Who is at risk of cataracts?
The risk of cataract increases as you get
older. Other factors that can cause cataracts
include certain diseases such as diabetes,
personal behaviour such as smoking and
alcohol use, or prolonged exposure to
ultraviolet sunlight.
What is a cataract?
Cataracts occur when changes in the lens of
the eye cause it to become less transparent
(clear). The lens is the crystalline structure
that sits just behind your pupil (the black
circle in the centre of your eye).
When light enters your eye, it passes
through the cornea (the transparent layer
Eye with clear lens
Eye with cataract
of tissue at the front of the eye) and the
lens, which focuses it on the light-sensitive
layer of cells at the back of your eye (the
retina). Include graphic to explain.
Cataracts sometimes start to develop in a
person's lens as they get older, stopping
some of the light from reaching the back of
the eye.
Over time, cataracts become worse and start
to affect vision. Eventually, surgery will be
needed to remove and replace the affected
lens.
What are the symptoms of a cataract?
Cataracts normally develop very slowly.
At first, the changes to your sight may be
slight, but as your cataracts get worse you’ll
start to notice symptoms such as your sight
is misty and cloudy. Colours seem faded.
You’re more sensitive to light such as,
bright sunlight or car headlamps may glare
more. Double vision may develop, or seeing
a halo (seeing a circle) around bright lights.
Eventually, almost all people with cataracts
will find that their sight has turned misty or
cloudy, and things have become difficult to
see all of the time.
Your vision deterioration may start to
affect your everyday life, enjoying activities
with friends and family. Cataracts could
affect Advanced your ability cataract to read, drive treatment and work.
The postcode from specialist lottery of consultant cataract treatment
ophthalmologists
Cataracts are very common and they're the
main cause of impaired vision worldwide.
In the UK, most people who are aged
Ask
65 or older your GP have some degree of visual
or Optician
impairment caused by cataracts. Men and
to
you
refer
women are equally affected.
NHS patients in some areas of England face
waiting up to 15 months for desperately
There’s no need to sit home waiting
We’re specialists in cataract removal
needed
for treatment
cataract
a minute longer
treatment, a new RNIB
Why Benenden Hospital? We’re a Centre of Excellence
You can enjoy clearer sight, free of cataracts as a private having performed thousands of successful cataract
patient at Benenden Hospital. The procedure is quick and procedures. Our consultants are all specialists with many
report
painless
has
and available
revealed.
without delay – in fact, you can
The years of experience, postcode not general consultants as used by lottery
walk in and walk out the same day.
some other providers. Our safety record is second to
none. Our facilities are modern and comfortable. Our
An opportunity to improve your vision
of cataract treatment means many NHS
choose to travel, we’re easy to find.
Seeing clearly again is wonderful - now you have the
chance to correct your eyesight at the same time.
rates too.
patients We don’t just are treat cataracts, being we can correct astigmatism forced to live with sight
and reduce dependence on glasses or contact lenses You can be referred by your GP or Optician as a private
the same time using our range of specialist lenses*. insured or self-paying patient, NHS Choice patient, or
Our highly experienced eye surgeons can discuss the Benenden member†.
loss which range of options to suit can your needs and be lifestyle. treated with a simple
† Benenden members will need a GP referral and must contact member
procedure.
services for authorisation before seeking treatment on 0800 414 8100.
Find out more today
*Benenden members who opt for a special lens only pay the additional cost
incurred for the lens and additional treatment as cataract treatment with the
standard lens is covered by treatment authorised as part of their membership.
quote GT
NHS patients only receive the monofocal lens. The Benenden Hospital Trust
is a company limited by guarantee. Registered in England, number 3454120.
www.benendenhospital.org.uk
Registered charity number 1065995. Registered office, The Benenden
Of the
Hospital Trust,
estimated
Goddard’s Green Road, Benenden, Cranbrook, Kent TN17 4AX2 million people in the
UK living with sight loss, 19 per cent have
cataracts. This means almost 400,000
people have a sight loss condition that
could be easily treated. People with
cataracts often find their reduced vision
seriously impacts on their ability to carry
out everyday tasks, like driving.
Cataract surgery is the most common
operation in the world and is considered
by the World health Organisation as one of
the safest surgeries available.
10
Find us online at www.goldentimes.co.uk