LOVE IS BLIND

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The Martian Cat by Guy Lane Copyright © 2017 Guy Lane All rights reserved. Titles by Guy Lane. See details at the end of this book. Eearth – Aquaria - Yongala- Intervene - The Moogh - The Oil Price - Heart of Bone - The Martian Cat guylane.com
Author’s note I have never been to Mars and I dare say that I probably never will. After writing this book, I doubt that they’d let me through customs. But that’s okay, because I don’t want to go to the stupid planet, anyway. I wrote this book because I don’t want anyone else to go there, either – not for at least a hundred years, maybe a thousand years, maybe a million years. It’s not because I’m misanthropic and want to spoil people’s fun; it’s because the manned trips to Planet Mars will impose a massive cost on everyone, just when we need to be focusing our energy elsewhere: on the rehabilitation of Planet Earth. Manned missions to Mars will create unprecedented environmental harm, misallocate vital human capital, and waste trillions of dollars of public money – your money and mine. The Mars colony will create great wealth for a handful of corporations, and this will justify them to lie, bribe and corrupt to protect their racket. The biggest lie that will be perpetrated is that there is another home for humans in this solar system. That’s just not true. Humans are Earthlings. Don’t forget that title – ‘Earth’-ling. We evolved in 1G gravity. It is our birthright to live in 1G gravity. Pro-Mars aficionados will likely bitch and moan about this book. They’ll say nasty things on social media, and I might even get death threats. That’s to be expected, because anyone who stands against a paradigm gets that sort of treatment. It’s just part of the game, I guess. To my detractors, I say the following: if the manned mission to Mars is such a great idea, and has ‘real’ public support, then a satirical novel like this one is not going to make a lickety-split of difference; this book will be set aside as a the ravings of an angry crank, and you’ll get your stupid Mars colony. However, if I am correct, and the manned mission to Mars is shown to be most stupid of ideas, and has very little broad-scale public support (outside of sci-fi enthusiasts and respondents to scammy questionnaires); then a novel like this might have a substantive impact in killing the idea off. If that’s the case, I’m glad to have been of service to humanity; and you Mars folk had it all
Page 1: LOVE IS BLIND and so is the Martian
Page 5 and 6: slinging mud at the rockets, and bl
Page 7: Chapters Pissing With Rain ........
Page 10 and 11: guylane.com “Damn rain!” the ca
Page 12 and 13: guylane.com the car forwards. He fl
Page 14 and 15: guylane.com light. He shakes his he
Page 16 and 17: guylane.com replies, welcoming his
Page 18 and 19: guylane.com Trudy looks around to c
Page 20 and 21: guylane.com on Mars. Next to Charli
Page 22 and 23: guylane.com Charlie grits his teeth
Page 24 and 25: guylane.com Inter-Planet Security n
Page 26 and 27: guylane.com tenderised, murdered, s
Page 28 and 29: guylane.com Charlie watches the com
Page 30 and 31: guylane.com doesn’t like being an
Page 32 and 33: guylane.com Inter-Planet’s Murder
Page 34 and 35: guylane.com the inside leaked the s
Page 36 and 37: guylane.com tonnes of kerosene, liq
Page 38 and 39: guylane.com The Two Tony’s At Int
Page 40 and 41: guylane.com go into space. It makes
Page 42 and 43: guylane.com Mars Express Lift-Off T
Page 44 and 45: guylane.com You know what, I am sic
Page 46 and 47: guylane.com Inter-Planet Mars Resor
Page 48 and 49: guylane.com pneumatic, which is a f
Page 50 and 51: guylane.com Moon because the Moon
Page 52 and 53:
guylane.com the orange emergency be
Page 54 and 55:
guylane.com The Martian Cat Meanwhi
Page 56 and 57:
guylane.com Maybe a paw pushed out,
Page 58 and 59:
guylane.com of. “You stupid mole!
Page 60 and 61:
guylane.com White Wee Meanwhile, ba
Page 62 and 63:
guylane.com come forward. “Come o
Page 64 and 65:
guylane.com The Flalgae Factory To
Page 66 and 67:
guylane.com “I’ll have a Gin an
Page 68 and 69:
guylane.com “I lost them?” Char
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guylane.com out in the pool room.
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guylane.com Life on Mars Charlie fi
Page 74 and 75:
guylane.com 50% of its terrestrial
Page 76 and 77:
guylane.com “Durr. Where do you t
Page 78 and 79:
guylane.com Maddy points a manicure
Page 80 and 81:
guylane.com to rasp in the foul air
Page 82 and 83:
guylane.com through open windows. T
Page 84 and 85:
guylane.com Micro-meteorite Shower
Page 86 and 87:
guylane.com “Suit pressure 40%.
Page 88 and 89:
guylane.com of angry flies. They bu
Page 90 and 91:
guylane.com “Is there any more?
Page 92 and 93:
guylane.com they do on Earth. Inste
Page 94 and 95:
guylane.com Model an Explosion Back
Page 96 and 97:
guylane.com Charlie sits back and t
Page 98 and 99:
guylane.com “Are there four peopl
Page 100 and 101:
guylane.com The Bite Fight Charlie
Page 102 and 103:
guylane.com “Please,” Charlie s
Page 104 and 105:
guylane.com Model an Explosion Outs
Page 106 and 107:
guylane.com “I’d like that.”
Page 108 and 109:
guylane.com Hellacious Cat Fart As
Page 110 and 111:
guylane.com the trauma of space fli
Page 112 and 113:
guylane.com Every muscle, fibre and
Page 114 and 115:
guylane.com Nobel Prize in Exobiolo
Page 116 and 117:
guylane.com “What idea?” “The
Page 118 and 119:
guylane.com Charlie in the frame. C
Page 120 and 121:
guylane.com first time since he arr
Page 122 and 123:
guylane.com Enya, Backwards When Ch
Page 124 and 125:
guylane.com being disturbed. There
Page 126 and 127:
guylane.com tears. “Come here.”
Page 128 and 129:
guylane.com Charlie’s pecker with
Page 130 and 131:
guylane.com “Stop bitching,” Ma
Page 132 and 133:
guylane.com on it. He picks up the
Page 134 and 135:
guylane.com the shuttle. All the po
Page 136 and 137:
guylane.com so it’s ancient histo
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guylane.com Martian Cat’s Health
Page 140 and 141:
guylane.com is exactly what happens
Page 142 and 143:
guylane.com “The cat suffers 30%
Page 144 and 145:
guylane.com of fear of what comes n
Page 146 and 147:
guylane.com Planning a Massacre Lat
Page 148 and 149:
guylane.com Charlie sits at the tab
Page 150 and 151:
guylane.com “Skipping meals is th
Page 152 and 153:
guylane.com Maddy starts jumping an
Page 154 and 155:
guylane.com Venison, Salad, Pussy,
Page 156 and 157:
guylane.com Sabotage Mars Infrastru
Page 158 and 159:
guylane.com ground. Completely obli
Page 160 and 161:
guylane.com finished packing, yet.
Page 162 and 163:
guylane.com at the frozen woman, en
Page 164 and 165:
guylane.com that ‘our’ interest
Page 166 and 167:
guylane.com Classic Martian Cat Att
Page 168 and 169:
guylane.com have a name, yet. Now,
Page 170 and 171:
guylane.com turning her attention t
Page 172 and 173:
guylane.com The shuttle rattles and
Page 174 and 175:
guylane.com sanitiser smell, and in
Page 176 and 177:
guylane.com from his positive spin
Page 178 and 179:
guylane.com Space Engineer, Charlie
Page 180 and 181:
guylane.com He looks at himself, fl
Page 182 and 183:
guylane.com money - public money, t
Page 184 and 185:
guylane.com Delousing A means of ki
Page 186 and 187:
guylane.com A space term that descr
Page 188 and 189:
guylane.com algae and cat. RAL The
Page 190 and 191:
The Moogh When people see the Moogh
Page 192 and 193:
Heart of Bone Rebecca is a personal
Page 194 and 195:
Intervene Anton Vorlov runs the wor
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LOVE IS BLIND

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