1/1911 - 12/1911a - The Lowell

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THE LOWELL
Then began a race long remembered by ihc spectators. Bob started out
with a sprint, then, coming to his senses he slowed down so as not to run himself
out like Peters. Steve saw him slow down and groaned. "He is going to
"dog it' and make the defeat more bitter, just to get even."
But Bob had no such thought, and, at the end of the first lap he had decreased
the lead by about eight yards.
Tlie Huntington man gave a sudden spurt, trying to worry Bob, but Bob
easily regained toe distance lost by the spurt. Then began his trial. He lengthened
his stride and siowly gained on the Huntington mai.. Now but eight
yards separated them, now five, now three, now two, now they arc even. Gasp!
Gasp! Stride! Stride! His opponent seemed to have vanished into thin air, and
the tape loomed up. Someone got in his way and he couldn't stop, so he fell into
their arms. He was dizzy and tired. Why did they stop him? He could beat
that fellow.
"Did you win?" exclaimed Steve, "Well I guess you did."
Bob could not forbear one more retort.
'"You had Ixttcr get some one with a reputation to run for you after this,
Steve."
"Why, man," exclaimed Steve, "you have a big reputation now: you beat
the fastest man in the State, and came within two seconds of the record; isn't
that enough?" Enw.uin WACN'EU, June 1914.
"There's one good thing to be said about my wooden new one,—
The liquor can't git into it cz "t usect to in the true one;
So it saves drink; an' then, besides, a feller couldn't beg
A gretter blessin' than to hev one oilers sober peg;
It's true a chap's in want 'r two fer lollerin' a drum
I'.ut all the march I'm up to now is jest to Kingdom Come."
—"P»iglo\v Papers.''
I've bed some ribs broke,—six (I b'lieve)—I haint kep' no account on 'em;
Wen pensions git to be the talk, I'll settle the amount on em.
An" now I'm speakin' about ribs, it kin" o' brings to mind
One thet I couldn't never break.—the one I lei" behind;
l\f you should sec her. jest clear out the spout of your invention
An' pour the longest sweetnin' in about an anooal pension.
An' kin' o' hint (in case, you know, the critter should refuse to be
Consoled) T ain't so 'xpensive now to keep ez win I used to be;
There's one arm less, ditto one eye. an' then the leg thel's wooden
Can be took off an" sot away wenever ther's a puddin !"
—"Iliglow Papers."
Sunday school Superintendent—Who led the children if Israel into Canaan?
Will one of the smaller boys answer?
Xo reply.
Supt. (somewhat sternlv)—Can no one tell? Little boy on that seat next to
the aisle, who led the children of Israel into Canaan?
Little Ho 1 ,- (badly frightened)—It wasn't me. I—I jest moved yere last
week f'm Mizzoury.
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