Hydrolife Magazine August/September 2017 [USA Edition]

CARBS, COOKIES, AND CANNABIS
At my bakery, we produce wacky taffy made mostly
with simple sugars, so it is quickly absorbed into the
bloodstream. The taffy actually starts its entry via your
saliva. This allows for a more rapid onset than edibles
made with complex carbohydrates. For my gingersnap
cookies, we like to grind our flour fresh from whole grains.
Cannabis introduced in whole grains take more time to
reach the large intestine before being introduced into
the blood stream as complex carbohydrates burn more
slowly than simple sugars. Consequently, it takes longer
to get high and you are high much longer. On the other
hand, edibles made with meat or cheese can keep you
feeling slightly buzzed for a few days because meat and
cheese remain in the body longer and burn even slower.
The fastest source to the bloodstream is usually alcohol.
Cannabis converted in alcohol has the most rapid onset
but also doesn’t last very long. All of this is a much more
important consideration when cooking with cannabis
than comparing sativa against indica. Which brings me
to my main point. When cooking with cannabis, try to
think about it like most any other herb. How much dill
would you add to any dish? Not tons, I bet. You can use
it like a rub, toss into the oil heating up, dry toast it, etc.
If you must consume cannabis for an illness or otherwise,
consider finding a perfectly dosed tincture or dry
decarboxylated cannabis capsules. Then eat a healthy,
well-balanced diet and leave those gummy bears alone.
I OWN A, ER, BAKERY
I have had a marijuana bakery so long now it feels
perfectly normal to me. In the past, I always had trouble
making up a lie when people asked what I did for work.
Except when crossing the border or talking to cops. I am
always happy to lie to those guys.
I just frankly told people who inquired that I own a marijuana
bakery. Watching their face tilt slightly, one wonky
eye, thinking about a traditional bakery and how bong
hits might fit in with apple fritters is usually pretty humorous.
Other times, I’d edit it down to “caterer” when I could
not afford the incrimination or knew my audience would
feel compromised. It is a fun job. I am not going to lie.
Another thing I have learned over the years is that most
dishes are impractical to produce for retail purposes. I
have limited my marijuana bakery to produce just those
items that keep well and taste delicious. I do, however,
love to throw parties and showcase exotic dishes not
ready for regular market twice a year.
I am definitely serving this next exotic dish at my annual
BudBQ. Jalapeño poppers! Recently, I was introduced
during a family fishing trip. It was love at first bite.
These poppers are made simple, but I want you to know
you can dress them up by adding some shrimp or the
classic bacon wrapped poppers. Anyway you make them
they are divine. The cooking of the peppers tones down
their wrath and the creaminess of the cream cheese cuts
its fire into a perfectly spiced mouth-gasm.
Just keep in mind the lingering effects of converting
cannabis in cheese.
To see Watermelon in action, check her out on YouTube.
Baked: Cooking with Mary Jean is a special show that features
one special ingredient: cannabis! Follow Watermelon,
a.k.a. Mary Jean Dunsdon, on Twitter @weeddiva to never
miss an episode, or sign up for updates at potent.media.
myhydrolife.com grow. heal. learn. enjoy. 93