Ink Drift August

Issue 1 - Confessions
Melancholy
Melancholy
Sakshi Upadhyay
I sabotage myself by seeing you with her,
covering it up with saying “it’s just to feed my curiosity”,
it is like enjoying pain which in this case is entirely mental.
The more I see them, the more my inside burns and leave
it filled with agony.
It’s like a real fire has been lit up which no amount of water
can put up off,
yet here I am unable to control or should I say eager to see
you,
even if it means her on your side and Every single time it
hurts, it aches but I continue,
like you are some narcotic substance and I am an addict.
Yes I am guilty of wanting you,
even when you were never mine to have,
yes I am guilty of wishing for you,
even when I knew it was unfair,
yes I am guilty of praying for you,
even when I am an atheist,
yes I am guilty of falling for you,
even when you asked me to stay away,
yes I am guilty of losing myself even when the maps were
clear.
but,
yes I am stronger now,
because I have to,
yes I haven’t moved on yet, but eventually I will ,
because I have to,
yes I still have hopes and dreams to fulfill,
because I WANT TO.
And I know how it feels like to be stuck in that infinite
time and space of “not getting over “
but it’s just a matter of that same time,
I will be grateful to you for this,
but until then let me be buried alive
with that aching heart and longing eyes.
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