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MEMORIZE WEAR A HELMET PATTERNS OF
ATTACK
Aliens tend to be very organized, a
necessary skill for mounting coordinated
planetary assaults. You are advised to
use this to your advantage. While most
invasion waves tend to strike in rows
and columns, picking up speed and
alternating directions as they descend
towards the Earth, there can be some
minor variations. Memorize these
patterns to the best of your ability in
order to maximize your efficiency when
shooting down their ships.
WEAR A HELMET
Protective clothing and gear is very
important during any invasion event. At
the very least, you are advised to wear
a helmet. Aliens tend to leave many
objects behind that attack the face or
head of passersby. As a general rule,
if it looks like a spider, it’s probably
bad and you should avoid it (practical
advice for ordinary life as well). If you
can’t avoid it, wear a helmet and move
as quickly as possible. DO NOT allow
the spider creatures to touch you!
They are gross.
PICK A SIDE
There are generally two varieties of
alien invader: the round, humanoid
types and the angular, insectoid types.
Often, these two factions will be at
war and have chosen Earth as their
battlefield for reasons that do not hold
up to much scrutiny. When faced with
both, support the humanoid types.
They are our friends by virtue of being
much less scary to look at and will
likely not destroy humanity should they
win the war. Touching bonds may even
be formed.
INVASION 6