Typewriter Emergencies May 2017

How Raven Brought the Tides
(Very, very loosely based on A Tlingit Legend)
BanWynn Oakshadow
41
Once, long ago, when the world was
new, and cool and white people hadn’t
screwed it up yet, there was Raven. Raven
was one of the First People: those
created by the Great Spirit and given
a world to live on. The first world
was made of just land and water and it
was pretty boring, so the Great Spirit
scrapped that project and made a new
one with lands waters and trees and animals.
It was most tranquil...and got boring.
Then, He made a third one and added
the First People. These were the first
creations that the Great Spirit could actually
interact with, and He gave them
great medicine so that they could enjoy
the world He had created for them. Then
Coyote (who wasn’t called that yet)
managed to poke a hole in it and flooded
it. The Great Spirit made another one. It
was the fourth that he had created and
the Great Spirit said, “Enough! This is
getting old and my fingers hurt. If this
one gets broken...it’s over! Kaput! Curtains!
Geendikt! Avslutade! Finito! You
get my drift?”
In this fourth world, he also created
something new. A different kind of people
who he did not give powerful medicine
to. He decided that for this world,
his First People should take a form and a
name, and he would give each medicine
made just for them. There was much rejoicing.
All of the First People could not
wait to get in line and land a really cool
gig like Golden Eagle, or Wolf.
The Great Spirit chose four from
among the First People and said, “You
have seen the new people that I have
created. I have decided that they need
to be taught the ways to become wise,
and protected so that they can learn to
prosper and grow. They will learn much
more from a fool than a wise man, so I
have chosen you four Tricksters to be
their guides and guardians. I have chosen
a special name and medicine for each
of you.”
“Kokopelli, the flute player, I am
sending you to teach those I put in the
desserts and cliffs far to the South. Spider
Iktomi, the medicine man, you will
teach those to the East. Coyote, I charge
you watch over the people on the Plains
of the West. Raven, use your wings to
fly far to the North to guide and protect
the people I have placed at the edge of
the Big Water. One Trickster for each of
the Four Directions.”
When the people to the West heard
this, they said, “We’re screwed...in lots
of ways. They immediately put up an
ACME warehouse right next-door to
Home Depot.”
Kokopelli used his flute to seduce
many maidens and so those in the South