Madison118

alentine’s Day. My earliest
thoughts of the beloved celebration
date back to the third grade and are
of tiny die-cut cards stating such simple
messages like, “Some-bunny loves you”
and, “Will you be mine?” I can remember
the importance of finding just the right
cards to give out, too. No way did I want
anything too mushy or anything. Picking
out the card was serious business.
They would eventually be placed in
individually decorated brown paper
sacks that were taped to the back of
everyone’s little-person sized desk.
Love was so easy.
Years later, flowers and gigantic
helium balloons were the must-have
order of the day, often delivered to the
workplace. I was never the recipient of
such over-the-top deliveries and was
even admittedly a bit jealous of those
who were. I mean, had they somehow
figured out a secret code to love that I
hadn’t? And how were you supposed to
get those big ol’ things home anyway?
I eventually married in my early
thirties. Prior to that time, while I managed
a couple of fairly decent relationships,
I was mostly single–a lot. I mean, there
were easier things in life than trying to
find a nice guy, you know. Like nailing
jelly to a tree. But it was worth the wait.
I would eventually find my perfect
match and we will celebrate 19 years
of marriage this year. Yay!
So as I look through the thousands
of cards at the store and contemplate
the message I want to convey, I’m
struck by a simple yet powerful thought.
I love us.
In reality, the card I’m looking for
should say, “Happy Valentine’s Day.
Who, in a million years, would have
ever thought that I’d be standing here
for the umteenth time looking through
this sea of red and pink hearts? But,
despite the fact that I get grumpy and
have unpredictable mood swings, you
keep coming home–and I thank you
for that. And even though you’ve yet
to develop the ability to read my mind,
I continue to love you anyway. We’ve
made a pretty darn fabulous kid that,
with any luck, will think marriage is a
good thing after watching us. So, there’s
that. Happy Valentine’s Day! I love us.”
There need to be cards with those
types of “real” messages. Someone
could make a fortune.
Relationships are hard. All relationships.
And they take work. Anything worth
having, does. And while my husband
and I have certainly made a good run so
far, we’ve definitely had our moments–
but we always manage to work through
them. Eventually, we even laugh it off.
Laughter is about connection, and
laughter and love go hand-in-hand.
So while I might not be one of those
that gets $100 worth of helium delivered
to the front door, I will get a funny card
from my fella. It will likely still be in the
store bag from which it was bought
along with one of my favorite Hollywood
gossip-type magazines and a box of
little white powdered donuts. He knows
they’re my favorite and that means the
world to me.
The truth is that love isn’t always
perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or a storybook
and it doesn’t always come easy. Love is
overcoming obstacles, facing challenges,
fighting to be together, holding on, and
never letting go.
It’s a short word that’s easy to spell,
difficult to define, and impossible to live
without. Love is work, but most of all, love
is realizing that every hour, and every
minute, and every second of it was
worth it–because you did it together.
Maybe more marriages would
survive if people knew that sometimes
the “better” comes after the “worse.”
And that’s ok. A successful marriage
requires falling in love many times,
over and over, with the same person.
I’m thankful for my person. I really do
love us. ♥
Hometown madison • 27