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Family Finance<br />
SECRETS<br />
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and<br />
shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall<br />
become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked<br />
and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s<br />
presence” [Genesis 2 verses 24-25]<br />
FAMILY FINANCE<br />
I once heard that the three most common areas that the<br />
enemy usually use in creating conflicts in marriage are Power,<br />
Money and Sex. Let’s focus our attention, briefly, on the area<br />
of finances.<br />
I like this dictionary definition of secrets which states that;<br />
Secret is something that is kept confidential.<br />
A secretive partner or spouse is someone who is faithful or<br />
cautious in keeping matters confidential. Need to mention at<br />
this point that it's a positive attribute to be able to keep<br />
matters confidential, especially when one has sworn to do so.<br />
I am aware that some of us are students of our backgrounds,<br />
managing our finances same way our parents did when we<br />
were growing up. Let's be mindful that marriage was not<br />
instituted by culture but by God. God's idea of making both<br />
one is too much for our hearts to comprehend. The greek root<br />
word for cleave conveys to be glued unto. When things are<br />
glued together, they remain inseparable and any attempt to<br />
separate them will definitely lead to both items being<br />
destroyed. The ultimate end of keeping such secrets (in family<br />
finances) is destruction! To be married means to be one in<br />
Spirit, Soul and Body. Whatever belongs to each belong to<br />
both. That is the biblical truth!<br />
Remember the Lord in all you do, and he will give you<br />
success. Don't depend on your own wisdom. Respect the Lord<br />
and refuse to do wrong. [Proverbs 3 verses 6-7 NCV]<br />
Sensual (worldly) wisdom will fail us. If there are issues or<br />
reasons why you have not been transparent about your<br />
finances to your spouse, please make every effort to resolve<br />
such from the root and be determined to obey the Lord and<br />
He will surely give you success. Seek godly and professional<br />
counsel if you have to and stop depending on your own<br />
wisdom and that of men. Do not take ungodly counsel. If we<br />
want to enjoy the best of God (the author of marriage), then<br />
we must be determined to obey Him fully and not partially.<br />
Remember, "He opens up the depths, tells secrets, sees in<br />
the dark—light spills out of him!" [Daniel 2 verse 22 MSG]<br />
SIN<br />
“Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your<br />
false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one<br />
another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual<br />
tone of mind and heart] ”[James 5:16a AMP]<br />
Another area where we are prone to keeping secrets is in our areas<br />
of weakness. Let us be conscious of the truth that marriage is not the<br />
union of two perfect individuals. It is a sacred union of two imperfect<br />
individuals through the grace and the ability of the initiator of the<br />
marriage covenant (God). Knowing very well that it is in our<br />
weakness that His strength is made perfect. This is the main reason<br />
why we should never cover up when we are supposed to open up! of<br />
two perfect individuals. It is a sacred union of two imperfect<br />
individuals through the grace and the ability of the initiator of the<br />
marriage covenant (God). Knowing very well that it is in our<br />
weakness that His strength is made perfect. This is the main reason<br />
why we should never cover up when we are supposed to open up!<br />
I have heard it said before that;<br />
“the power of sin is in secrecy”<br />
One sure way to break the influence and hold of sin over our lives is<br />
to consciously make ourselves accountable to others, especially our<br />
spouses. You see, as soon as that besetting sin is confessed and<br />
laid in the open, the recovery process begins in full swing! One of the<br />
reasons why spouses keep sins and secrets from each other is<br />
because of the fear of ridicule. This is not scriptural. James 5:16a<br />
tells us what we are to do when sins and secrets are<br />
confessed...pray for one another! It is not the time to ridicule or<br />
drag the fallen spouse in the mud. It is the time to build and raise<br />
them up from their fallen state. The ultimate goal should be<br />
restoration.<br />
Are you held bound by any form of destroying habits such as<br />
addiction to pornography, masturbation, lust, cheating (in any form)<br />
etc.? It’s time to break the cycle! It’s time to be accountable!<br />
“People who conceal their sins will not prosper,<br />
but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.”<br />
[Proverbs 28:13 NLT]<br />
Wouldn’t it be great to deny sin of its power? You can do that right<br />
now by consciously bringing that secret to the open. Be accountable<br />
to one another. At least start by being accountable to someone for a<br />
start and do not stop there. Walk towards being accountable to your<br />
spouse who loves you so much to pray for you.<br />
Shalom,<br />
Leye Olayiwola<br />
S P L E N D O U R M A G A Z I N E | 3 1
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