Issue 88 / May 2018

JORDAN
STEPHENS
Since penning an article for The Guardian on toxic masculinity, the Rizzle Kicks singer has
become an outspoken authority on the subject, as well as an advocate for mental health.
JORDAN STEPHENS first found fame as one half of
the chart-busting duo Rizzle Kicks, who burst into the
charts in 2011. Since then, Stephens has worked on his
own music, under the moniker Al The Native and with
a new act Wildhood, but more recently, he’s become known for
his work outside of music; speaking up about toxic masculinity,
and raising awareness around mental health. He’s worked with
YMCA on their #IAMWHOLE campaign, which encourages young
people to challenge the negative stigma surrounding mental
health, encouraging others to speak out and seek help, as well as
with Amnesty International, advocating for access to education.
It’s his work on toxic masculinity, however, that has really
caught people’s attention. Writing in light of the revelations of
sexual harassment around disgraced movie producer Harvey
Weinstein, Stephens penned one of the most eloquent and
honest letters to come from someone in a position of fame and
success in recent years. Pinning down toxic masculinity and the
issues that percolate from it into every aspect of society, the
letter was a breath of fresh air in terms of its perceptiveness
and honesty, and one that tackled heavy subject matter as well
as his own personal experiences. Published by The Guardian,
Stephens professes “Any man who has read a woman’s account
of harassment or assault and thought ‘that doesn’t apply to me’:
what you’re experiencing in that moment is the exact privilege,
power and entitlement that women are finding space to battle
against.”
Continuing to advocate for gender equality and removing
the stigma from mental health, Stephens will appear at Writing
On The Wall Festival in May, where he’ll be in conversation with
comedian Robert Webb, another personality who is tackling
conceptions of masculinity with the publication of his book How
Not To Be A Boy. Conor Giblin caught up with Jordan to talk
about about the motivations behind his Guardian article, and how
he believes gender can hinder people’s ability to process their
emotions.
Shortly after writing your piece in The Guardian on toxic
masculinity, you went to The Bridge [an intense six-day
personal development retreat] – can you describe what that
experience was like for you?
I first wrote about masculinity because I was trying to sort
myself out, I was experiencing a lot of anxiety and frustration. It
all culminated in me having a bit of a self-sabotage breakdown
last year, so after that I wrote an essay as a way of getting my
feelings out. My uncle said I should send it into The Guardian, so
I did and it kinda went viral, which was crazy. Donna Lancaster
from The Bridge asked if I wanted to join them and if I could
write about my experience. It was an utterly transformational and
eye-opening experience – it’s really about listening to your body
because all your emotions are stored in your body. I always feel
a bit conscious of saying too much about The Bridge because I
really believe that if people want to go to it, the less you know the
better. If anyone has the money to go, I honestly could not think
of a better way to spend it.
“It would be beneficial
for men to see life
through another
gender’s eyes”
Were the other guys at The Bridge experiencing the same
feelings as you?
There was actually only one other guy there, it was mostly
women who had been on the receiving end of toxic masculinity.
I was also the youngest person there by about 20 years, but I
would go as far as saying that it’s imperative for men to do that
course. I’m working with Donna to try and get more and more
men to go to The Bridge.
People have traumatic experiences at different ages and a lot
of older men have bottled up their feelings for decades – how
can we prepare men of all ages to deal with their emotions?
It’s a tough one because they’ve lived so much of their lives
having a certain way of processing their emotions, but from my
experience, older men are receptive to the idea of talking about
their feelings. There’s a lot of weight in terms of trauma and
sadness that they’ve carried for many years, but it’s never too
late to sit down, open up and process your emotions. Ultimately,
what all of this is about is that it’s more beneficial and more
harmonious to process your feelings.
Previously you’ve addressed the issue of privilege in relation to
toxic masculinity – what do you think the connection is there?
Is it about having such stable and perfect lives that people
aren’t able to deal with trauma when it eventually hits them?
Totally. Pain of any kind is a teacher if you listen to it, although
there is some pain that you’d never wish on anyone. But usually
with events that test you, there’s something to learn from them.
When you have the utmost privilege and you’re prevented from
experiencing general struggle, if you then experience something
difficult, you can totally spiral. Whilst I don’t necessarily have
white privilege, I do have the privilege of being a young mixedrace
man and when I started to feel emotional pain, it was so
overwhelming because I’d never really allowed myself to feel it, or
I’d just use coping mechanisms to get past it. For me, my struggle
was tied in with me becoming a man but also with becoming
famous. It was a double power boost, which removes any desire
to be responsible until it’s too much and isn’t very healthy at all.
Do you think that the media has a role in changing our
understanding of masculinity?
Having more of an equal representation of men and women in
the media would be helpful. It’s interesting that we’ve had years
of looking at things through a male gaze, consistently since the
creation of TV pretty much. There have been successful female
writers and directors but they’ve had a tough time trying to
get through. If we were to balance the amount of Hollywood
cinema that was created by women, for women, through a
woman’s eyes, it would be beneficial for men to see life through
another gender’s eyes. There’s a whole undertone of what’s
acceptable for a man to do and because we have objectified
women for so long, womanising and being a general liability
is totally glamourised. There’s probably a place for it and for
whatever reason, some people do love an anti-hero, but how
interesting would it be to put another message into the back of
someone’s mind? To have someone being responsible for their
actions, yet glamourous.
The excuse that there isn’t any demand for an alternative
can’t be used anymore because people clearly want to see
something different. Younger generations in particular are
getting bored of it and want to see something that’s in line
with the kind of equality that we’re trying to achieve.
Deadpool and Wonder Woman were pretty boss for
promoting strong female characters and I think the film
industry is changing, you can tell that there is a push for more
representation, but hopefully it isn’t a temporary thing. It’s
happening regardless because there’s more awareness of it
now and it’s shameful to overlook it, from a male perspective.
Have you had any backlash over all of this or has it all
been positive? Or do you just choose to shut out all of the
negativity?
I’ve been asked this a lot recently… genuinely, the people who
hit me up after my Guardian article still baffles me. A lot of
young men are living with pain that they don’t know how to
express, I’ve had people come to me in confidence and say that
they’re grieving and heartbroken. I should really go and test the
waters with those who are a bit more reluctant to talk about
this. But generally, by talking about the emotional secrecy of
men, it seems to have resonated with most men because it’s a
reality that people are living with every day. !
Words: Conor Giblin / @conorjgiblin
Jordan Stephens In Conversation With Robert Webb on How
Not To Be A Boy takes place at The Black-E on 26th May as
part of Writing On The Wall Festival. Head to wowfest.uk for
more information.
22