Full Family G handout and Guide v2

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online eworkshops
Enabling | Stimulating | Revolutionary
Family Graffiti is parenting, but smarter. Our aim is to make child
psychology accessible to all parents.
We believe knowledge is power, you’ll get real results once you understand
what causes your child’s behaviours in the first place.
Through a series of online workshops
and an on-demand searchable library of
parenting guides, we will teach you the
psychology behind your child’s
behaviours and empower you with the
parenting know-how to make a real
difference to your child behaviours right
from day 1.
The cognition process
All of Family Graffiti’s parental teaching
will work using what the child already
has; a cognition process. By using the
natural phenomenon that is the developing child’s mind, we should work
our way systematically through every stage of the mind process to create
an advantage that is proven to:
enable deeper learning and higher achievement
create better recall of learning
develop high order reasoning and problem-solving skills
prove to the child that learning can be fun.
What is Cognition?
Cognition is what our mind recalls from when we last faced a situation. This
thought automatically believes that ‘this’ will happen again, this is how it
makes me feel and how I should react. Basically, Cognitive means the
mental processes involved in our thinking. Whatever our mind includes in
its logical working process, including dreams, memories, images, thoughts
and attention. It is a ‘process’, it happens one step after another.

It's a powerful gift: Having the
ability to think before you act.
The cognitive process:
Receive information (learning: hearing, seeing, touching, sensing, tasting)
Retain information (stored, indexed to previous events and ready for recall)
Recall information (how we think, when an event re-occurs)
Reacting to this information (how we behave, because of this thinking)
A practical definition of cognition would be the process by which we learn,
think, feel & understand. This process determines how we should react (behave)
in a given situation.
What is behaviour?
Behaviour, therefore, is a reaction. We combine our thoughts and feelings
about a current action or an upcoming event then we act on them. Adults can
weigh up and consider the outcome or consequence of behaviour, but children
have limited ability to do this.
Cognitive Behaviour refers to everything that we do, and can be both ‘good’
or ‘bad’ (although we prefer wanted or unwanted. This includes what we say,
how we try to solve problems, how we react and also how we avoid certain
situations. Behaviour refers to both action and inaction, when referring to a
given situation. It is fashioned by our thinking process, rather than by an
inherent need to be naughty or shy or unhappy.
Weighing up the consequence and outcome of our behaviours is called
cognitive reasoning, and this is a skill that children learn from watching and
interpreting the world around them (especially you – their parent).
Morris xx

The cognitive process
Receive
Retain
Recall
The starting point for all learning
7% verbal, 93% witnessed
Processing ability / speed input
Good messages in: ensure good messages out
Message memory store
Compartmentalised correctly or confused
Cognitive dysfunction and cognitive thinkers
Usually where cognition starts going wrong
With associated feelings
Our perception of what may happen: Anxiety
How to achieve goals, influences compliance
Processing ability / speed output
Reactions to cognitive processing
All behavioural responses are created within this mechanism of the
cognitive process often to hide frustrations, confusions, anxieties or
poor communicative skills etc.
Poor cognitive reactions can usually be changed by refocusing this
cognitive process by putting new messages in to replace the old.
Autistic and concrete thinkers are usually geniuses with facts, precision
and routine, but are hampered in-part by a disorientated linkage
between each process stage and feelings are usually not influential in
their reactions. Keep communication short and factual.

Planting new seeds and feeding cognition
Cognition
Feelings
The cognitive process is a function created
pre-birth.
It receives, records and retains all incoming
messages (information).
It retains all information as 'factual'.
It recalls these memories when accessed.
It can develop as a 'fact' from a 'seed'
planted during early years learning.
It can be replanted with an
alternative 'seed' of truth to
refocus a new fact.
Feelings are very powerful.
Feelings develop later than cognition.
Feelings are ever evolving / changeable.
Expressed emotions can be misleading.
Linking the 'true child needs' to the
emotional display is 'key' to our parenting
response and our cognitive empathy.
Use what
They have
Behaviour
All children are born with a functioning
cognitive process and with auto recording.
It is their natural born instinct to learn.
Most of what they learn is via mimicking.
The cognitive process can be disrupted or
dysfunctional because of many factors.
'Old' learning can be replaced with 'new'.
Don't challenge... repair instead
Reactions are a mix of our thought process
and any associated feelings.
It may not be true but it sure feels real.
Reactions are what others usually see and
witness / recognise as 'behaviour'.
All reactions are a 'learnt behaviour' and
can be 're-learnt' to have different
outcomes and provide the child with coping
skills.

E-workshops
Easy to digest step-by-step guidance, for the modern parent.
Cognition & Solution Focused Parenting eWorkshop
Learn all about the cognition process; the psychology behind our parenting
philosophy and get an introduction to solution-focused parenting and how it will
lead to happier, calmer and simpler parenting.
Behaviour eWorkshop
Learn how to improve your child’s go-to behaviour reactions with our simple, step
by step Behaviour Workshop course that will give you all the tools you need to
practise our solution-focused parenting techniques.
Communication eWorkshop
Learn how to recruit the inner child with your words and actions – not only will
we teach you how to speak so they will listen, you’ll also learn how to teach them
to communicate, make friends and thrive.
Family eWorkshop
Life with more than one child can be a battleground at times! This workshop will
empower you with parenting know-how to tackle sibling rivalry and balance
sibling relationships.
Divorce and separation: Dealing with change eWorkshop
We strongly believe that a happy family is much more important to a child’s
wellbeing than a nuclear family. Learn how to help both you and your child
transition through family changes.
Discipline and Boundaries eWorkshop
Giving you all the tools you need to instil a solution-focused parenting approach.
Boundaries and discipline needn’t be fraught with tension and raised voices, no
longer will you have to go around in circles. This workshop is full to the brim with
tips, solutions and guides to instilling successful boundaries and limitations
without inhibiting your child’s learning.
Sign up online now = £56 to access all areas
www.familygraffiti.co.uk

E-workshops pt2
Easy to digest step-by-step guidance, for the modern parent.
Sleep eWorkshop
In need of a good nights sleep? This workshop is packed full of how-to tips and
guides from bedtime routines to night terrors and anxious sleepers.
Anxiety eWorkshop
What is anxiety? What triggers anxiety? How to soothe your child’s anxiety?
This workshop gives you all the parenting tools you need to cope with, manage
and soothe your child’s anxious behaviours.
Baby and Toddler eWorkshop
How do babies learn? Should I discipline my toddler? Everything you need to
know about child psychology in the early years and helping your toddler to
understand their world, through their eyes.
Food Phobia eWorkshop
Why are kids picky eaters and how can we help them to have a better
relationship with their food psychologically? This workshop will teach you
everything you need to know about our psychological relationships with food.
School eWorkshop
Covering everything from how to help prepare your child for their first day at
school, helping them to embrace and enjoy learning to making friends and
coping with bullying. This workshop will empower you to help your child through
their school years.
Autism eWorkshop
From daily routines, to communicating with a concrete thinker. Our Autism
workshop will give you the tools you need to help you to understand how a child
with Autism understand, learns, thinks and engages with their world.
Sign up online now = £56 to access all areas
www.familygraffiti.co.uk

Plus, Our ever growing library
of self-help papers, written to
suit all of your needs.
Managing Anxiety
Beating the ‘bully’ in your child’s mind – reducing anxieties
Dealing with change
Dealing with a new baby in the house
“Help my child to make friends”
How to overcome food phobias
“My child is too scared to sleep” – case study
Picky Eaters
Preparing your child to join with others
Sleep Easy – anxious child
What is Anxiety?
What to do (and not to do) when children are anxious
Changing a child’s behaviour
Ask what, not why! When you want to know
“Behave … Me?” what to do when a child misbehaves
out of the house
Calm voices, Calm choices, Calm children (no yelling)
Countering Conflict – tips on how to avoid confrontation
Discipline – correctly defined
8 steps to improve a child’s behaviour
How do I discipline my toddler?
How do I teach my child to manage their own behaviour?
How do I teach my child to respect me?
How to recruit the inner child to engage and reinforce new
outcomes
How to repair sibling relationships
“It’s not fair” ~ my child always screams it’s not fair
Managing tantrum meltdowns better
My child is a bully, how do I stop this?
“Naughty Steps” and other do nots
“Ouch, that hurts” ~ is it okay to spank my child?
“Okay, that didn’t hurt” alternative discipline teaches good
reactions
Promoting emotional wellbeing, don’t fight it, work with it
Punishment totally dismissed – it teaches NO new behaviours
“Sorry” is just a worthless word
Spanking isn’t a punishment, it’s an abuse, and it doesn’t
correct anything
10 things to try that show why calmer is better
What are we teaching our children – giving effective
instruction
“Why is my child naughty?” ~ Understanding your child’s
behaviour
“What is cognition?” – Cognition defined
X-box and all that stuff
X-box and older siblings
You don’t have to say NO!
PACE: how to avoid tantrums and meltdowns?
Dad’s need help too
How Dads can master bedtime routines
Weekend Dad, some practical solutions
Weekend Dad, your child’s emotions – coping with change
Will I be like my Dad? ~ fears from the past
Working with a Diagnosed difficulty
Autism – daily routines
Autism – I am a concrete thinker, communication with me
is different
Autism – phrasing your words
Autism – understanding how a child with autism learns
Autism – what is autism spectrum?
Autism – what is neurodevelopmental disorder?
What is PDA?
How to help a child who is self-harming
Learning stages Different ages, different learning
Actions speak louder than words
Baby Knows best 1 (0-2 years)
Baby knows best 2 (0-12 months)
Dealing with a new baby in the house
4 tips on communication when talking to children
Life Modelling – how we teach our children
Toddlers know better 1 (2-3 years)
Toddlers know better 2 (2-3 years)
Pre-schoolers know it all (3-5 years)
Use what they have, to give them more (3-5 years)
When should I teach my child boundaries – toddlers
School and education: needs and coping strategies
How to retain reading skills ~ helping a child revise
Motivating your child to focus on school work
What is SEN? And how it relates to a child’s education
Learning Solution focused parenting skills
Actions speak louder than words
Birth Order: siblings (a pack of three)
Boundaries, praise and reflection time
Calm voices, Calm choices, Calm children
Changing behaviour by re-framing the reaction
Children and their feelings – the perfect cognitive repair?
Cognitive and Constructivist parenting
Cognitive difficulties and influencers – affect your child’s
learning ability
Communicating better understanding – “why ask why?”
Countering Conflict – tips on how to avoid confrontation
Talking of children – do you understand child psychology?
“Finding Diamonds on the Beach” ~ making everyday events
useful
Helping toddlers to understand boundaries
How children learn – wired to absorb, process and learn
everything
How to recruit the inner child to engage and reinforce new
outcomes
How your child will learn new behaviour skills
Life Modelling – how do I get my child to do as their told?
Organising a successful day out (and still be smiling at the end of
it)
Parenting that is future proof – enabling, stimulating and
revolutionary
Problem solving to build a child’s self-esteem
Problem solving: it isn’t about you doing it
Promoting emotional wellbeing, don’t fight it, work with it
Repairing sibling relationships (stopping fighting and falling out)
Step-by-step problem solving
Teaching: Praise, Blame and reward
Understanding and recognising your child’s behaviours

Our services
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Every month we have a different parenting focus - communication, anxiety, discipline and boundaries... and
many more!
1-2-1 Cognitive Family Therapy Parent Talk
Specific to your family and parenting needs.
£45 per 60 minute session in person
£30 per digital email response.
Testimonial: “Morris & Gemma are amazing and
have pointed me in a direction where I can actually
see the end of the tunnel after the first 1-2-1
meeting. Thank you so much, keep up the amazing
work”
News and views from parents and Family Graffiti
Members. Please contact us if you'd like to
contribute to Parent Talk.
Testimonial: “Fascinating stuff! I really learnt a
lot, after 6 years of hearing the same advice,
a breath of fresh air! Great to have a team so
passionate about what they do!”
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Parent online E-Workshops
Testimonial: “It’s opened my eyes to finding alternatives” … “Incredibly helpful”
We highly recommend that you follow up these workshops by joining our online parenting
platform for modern parents, with a library of parenting guides and eWorkshops. You will
receive more in depth knowledge of our practices and how they can benefit you and
your children. Smarter parenting for just £56.00 per year and all subjects covered.
Testimonial: “I love the papers in your library … just reading a handful is already
transforming my parenting, and I feel much calmer about dealing with some
tantrums and huge expressions of emotion”
www.familygraffiti.co.uk