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GIRL ON FARMER<br />
The Smell of Romance<br />
BY CELIA BERESFORD<br />
At what age did my armpits start to smell? I’m not<br />
sure, but I’d have to guess it was later than everyone<br />
else’s and I was jealous about it. I can safely say that<br />
whenever I did notice I was starting to smell, I did<br />
everything in my power to hide it from my mother, not<br />
because she was a shamer, but because the thought<br />
of discussing any sort of body issues mortified me.<br />
This mortification led to me inventing the double<br />
tank-top look during one summer when I was in<br />
middle school. Instead of telling my mom I needed a<br />
bra, I would double up tank tops in hopes that no one<br />
would notice that my boobs were actually just pointy<br />
nipples. This was the same summer that I enviously<br />
noticed Jan Brimmer’s armpit hair at a pool party. I<br />
assume her pits had already started to smell.<br />
For me, most puberty-related things come with some<br />
dose of shame, or at the very least, secrecy. I never<br />
felt bad or dirty about what was happening to my<br />
body, but I definitely planned to hide it from my family<br />
and flaunt it to my girlfriends. And by flaunt, of course<br />
I mean let them know that I was also experiencing<br />
what they were. But I probably wasn’t, because, as I<br />
mentioned, I was a late bloomer. This led to a lot of<br />
making things up. It was handy that I had a variety of<br />
friend groups. I could take one girl’s period story and<br />
retell it as if it were my own, in the meantime cursing<br />
my own stubborn ovaries for holding out on me. But<br />
something like smelly armpits isn’t something you<br />
can manufacture. It starts and then there it is. I bet<br />
that most girls, eager to be older, start deodorant-ing<br />
before it is truly necessary.<br />
When I noticed that my friend Susan Waitt had<br />
deodorant on her dresser, I naturally decided I needed<br />
some. But I didn’t want to ask my mom, so I did the<br />
obvious, which was to steal hers. I didn’t have smelly<br />
pits yet, but the deodorant was more like a showpiece<br />
I would put on display when a friend came over.<br />
Other times it was hidden deep in my sock drawer so<br />
my brother wouldn’t see it and make fun of me. The<br />
deodorant was called Ban – just in case you didn’t<br />
get the message that you smell and it should be<br />
outlawed, this not-so-subtle name would leave you<br />
with no doubt. This was in the roll-on era, where you<br />
would roll a small, wet round ball all around under<br />
your armpit. It felt gross.<br />
38 <strong>JAVA</strong><br />
MAGAZINE