Karma_YW August-2018 Dummy

47
Malcolm In The
Middle! Avoid
The Middle-child
Syndrome
Were you a middle child? Perhaps you have a middle child. Or maybe you’re
trying to decide how many children is the ideal number for you as a couple.
Well, while relationship dynamics are different in different domestic setups,
one thing that many with three children worry about is the ‘middle-child
syndrome’.
What is middle-child
syndrome?
Middle-child syndrome is when a
child with both an older and a younger
sibling feels neglected or ignored. Often,
they feel that their older sibling is given
privileges they don’t enjoy while the
younger sibling is indulged or babied.
The middle child, meanwhile, can often
feel that they don’t have a special place
within the hierarchy, being neither the
eldest nor the youngest.
Of course, most parents aim to
treat all their children equally and
are horrified at the thought that their
middle child might be unhappy with
their role within the home setup. So,
if you are a parent to three children,
here's what can you do to avoid middlechild
syndrome:
Celebrate their firsts
Eldest children are used to having
their first milestones celebrated
whereas for the next child, it might
not seem so exciting as their sibling
has already done everything they’ve
achieved. Add a younger sibling into
the mix, and the middle child can
often feel that their accomplishments
go unnoticed. Make time to celebrate
every achievement so that your child
feels valued.
One-on-one time
When you have three children of
varying ages, it can be difficult to find
activities that are age-appropriate
for all of them. This often means
the middle child gets dragged along
to activities that are either too old
for them to join in or too young to
be interesting. Instead of trying to
entertain your children together,
schedule time where you can take each
one to an activity on their own.
Don’t make them
compromise
Whether it’s letting the eldest
choose or letting the youngest go first,
middle children often don’t get to make
decisions. As a result, they’re probably
used to having to compromise, either
giving into what the eldest wants or
being encouraged to let the youngest
choose. Make sure you regularly let
your middle child choose what to do
– whether it’s picking a board game
to play or choosing the film for movie
night.
Capture the memories
When you have your first baby, every
moment is captured and you probably
have thousands of photos of your
firstborn. Equally, if you’ve just had baby
number three and know they are likely
to be your last, you’re probably keen to
make the most of every little gurgle and
giggle, especially now that you know
how short the baby stage lasts. Your
middle child might not be the first or the
baby of the family but make sure you
create long-lasting memories of their
childhood in the same way. If not, one
day they are likely to look back and ask,
“Where are all the photos of me?”
Bur being a middle child can be
incredibly rewarding – they can have a
strong bond with both of their siblings.
They get to learn from their older
sibling while being a role model to their
younger sibling. They also make great
partners and team players as they learn
to get along with different personality
types. That’s the reason why, says
a study in ‘The Journal of Genetic
Psychology’, middle children tend to
do better in group situations than older
and younger siblings... And these are
only some of the advantages that a
middle child has. To conclude, if you’re
a middle child, you’ve done fine for
yourself. Be rest assured, so will your
second of the three children.
August 2018 • Issue III • Volume VII • yourwellness.com