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14 A u g u s t 1 6 ' 1 8 H A N N A / C o r o N A t i o n / S t e t t l e r , A b . E C A r e v i e w<br />
Count On Us<br />
for everything on your farm<br />
SLAP<br />
Shots<br />
• CBS’s James<br />
Corden, on “The<br />
Shop,” LeBron<br />
James’ new HBO<br />
talk show: “Apparently,<br />
(it’s) going<br />
to be him and four<br />
random guests<br />
you may or may<br />
not have heard<br />
of. You know, like<br />
when he plays<br />
basketball.”<br />
• Patti Dawn<br />
Swansson in<br />
the River City<br />
Renegade, on<br />
Jets’ utility player<br />
Marko Dano signing<br />
an $800,000<br />
contract: “Nice gig.<br />
Sit in the press<br />
box, watch 82<br />
hockey games, eat<br />
popcorn, collect<br />
800 large. The<br />
least Dano could<br />
do for that kind of<br />
coin is file a game<br />
story and sidebar.<br />
On deadline. Also<br />
gain about 40<br />
pounds and wear<br />
wrinkled clothes<br />
that don’t fit. Then<br />
he’d feel right at<br />
home with the<br />
rest of the boys on<br />
press row.”<br />
• RJ Currie of<br />
sportsdeke.com:<br />
“Toronto dealt<br />
veteran southpaw<br />
J.A. Happ to the<br />
Yankees. Which<br />
makes the Jays<br />
even more Happless.”<br />
•Scott Ostler of<br />
the San Francisco<br />
Chronicle: “Former<br />
NFL running back<br />
Ricky Williams,<br />
who once took a<br />
break from smoking<br />
weed to swear<br />
to me that he was<br />
done smoking<br />
weed, is selling his<br />
own line of weed<br />
products, ‘Real<br />
Wellness by Ricky<br />
Williams.’ I hope<br />
it’s better than the<br />
line of baloney he<br />
used to sell.”<br />
from the bleachers<br />
Canada’s TV<br />
sports personalities:<br />
Who do you like?<br />
by Bruce Penton<br />
Choosing your favourite<br />
television sports personality<br />
is hardly a scientific matter.<br />
It’s like asking someone to<br />
pick their favourite colour<br />
or their favourite brand of<br />
vehicle. It comes down to<br />
personal preference. You<br />
like green? I think blue is<br />
better. You’re a GM guy? I’ll<br />
take a Ford.<br />
Same goes with TV sports<br />
personalities. There are<br />
dozens to choose<br />
from, in a number of<br />
categories: Play-byplay;<br />
colour<br />
commentators; analysts;<br />
interviewers;<br />
program hosts;<br />
anchors. Some are<br />
smooth, some aren’t.<br />
Some are more professional<br />
than<br />
others. Some are Penton<br />
truly annoying.<br />
Some are simply terrible.<br />
I say toe-may-to, you say<br />
tom-att-o. I say left, you say<br />
right.<br />
So take the following with<br />
a grain of salt but let’s have<br />
some fun.<br />
Play-by-play — Jim<br />
Hughson, CBC’s No. 1<br />
hockey guy. Knowledgable,<br />
knows when to shut up,<br />
keeps his cool. Runner-up —<br />
Dan Shulman, so easy to<br />
listen to a ball game with<br />
him describing the action.<br />
Colour commentator —<br />
Russ Howard, explains the<br />
strategic nuances of a<br />
curling game better than<br />
anyone. Runner-up — Kelly<br />
Hrudey, enthusiastic,<br />
former goalie knows hockey.<br />
Analyst — Elliotte<br />
Friedmann, the most informative<br />
and<br />
believable guy on<br />
TV. Runner-up —<br />
Bob McKenzie,<br />
only Friedmann<br />
Terry<br />
Fox<br />
Run<br />
Submit your<br />
runs or call in to<br />
sponsor. Proceeds<br />
to go to Terry Fox<br />
Foundation.<br />
Call your rep today.<br />
has more hockey scoops.<br />
Interviewers — CBC’s<br />
Scott Oake, no contest. Treat<br />
to watch him get his subjects<br />
to open up and divulge the<br />
most interesting nuggets;<br />
Runner-up — Sara Orlesky,<br />
who always asks the right<br />
questions of CFL players.<br />
Program hosts: Rod<br />
Smith, who steers CFL on<br />
TSN. Well organized, lets his<br />
colleagues do most of the<br />
talking. Runner-up — Ron<br />
MacLean, who is<br />
not the star of<br />
Coaches Corner,<br />
but so clever with<br />
the English<br />
language.<br />
Anchors —<br />
Evanka Osmak<br />
of Sportsnet, a<br />
great presenter<br />
and one of the<br />
few in her position<br />
who doesn’t<br />
go overboard with bogus<br />
enthusiasm; Runner-up —<br />
the duo of Jay Onrait-Dan<br />
O’Toole, who combine<br />
sports news with entertainment<br />
and guffaws.<br />
Seven who just missed<br />
making the grade: James<br />
Duthie, Cassie Campbell,<br />
Rod Black, Scott Russell,<br />
Gord Miller, Farhan Lalji<br />
and Darren Dreger.<br />
Four who cause me to<br />
change the channel: Kate<br />
Beirness of TSN tops this<br />
list, followed closely by Don<br />
Cherry. Third and fourth<br />
are Bob Cole, who is no<br />
longer at the top of his game,<br />
and Buck Martinez, whose<br />
voice is … well, unique and<br />
grating.<br />
One man’s opinion, but<br />
probably not your’s.<br />
Count on Us to keep you<br />
Healthy & Happy<br />
Castor<br />
Box 179 Castor, AB T0C 0X0<br />
403-882-3055<br />
fax 403-882-2349<br />
SLAP<br />
Shots<br />
• Ex-QB Jay Cutler,<br />
in a teaser for his<br />
wife Kristin’s ‘Very<br />
Cavallari’ TV series<br />
on E!, on the secret<br />
to raising chickens:<br />
“Feed them,<br />
water them … it<br />
can’t be that hard.<br />
It’s got to be easier<br />
than raising kids.”<br />
•Comedy writer<br />
Jim Barach: “PGA<br />
Tour player Justin<br />
Thomas says he<br />
is inspired by<br />
his grandparents.<br />
Which may<br />
explain why the<br />
average round on<br />
the PGA Tour now<br />
takes five and a<br />
half hours.”<br />
• Barach again:<br />
“Hackers hit the<br />
PGA’s computer<br />
system, locking<br />
them out of files<br />
for ransom. It was<br />
the biggest incident<br />
of a hacker<br />
with the PGA since<br />
Charles Barkley<br />
was allowed to<br />
play in a pro-am.”<br />
• RJ Currie again:<br />
“Selfridges<br />
store in London<br />
announced<br />
early Christmas<br />
by opening a new<br />
Yule-themed shop<br />
Aug. 2. ‘You call<br />
that early Christmas?’<br />
said Leafs<br />
fans. ‘We got John<br />
Tavares July 1st.’”<br />
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Feature Trees Size Price<br />
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