Trinitonian July Online Issue

TEEN FEATURE
Why don’t bystanders intervene?
There are various excuses used by bystanders as
to why they don’t intervene in bullying or acts of
violence. They are:
• “It’s none of my business”: Oh, but it became
your business the minute you stood by and did
nothing!
• “The perpetrator might turn on me!”: Yes,
intervening may be scary but the more people
who stand up for the victim, the less likely
you’ll be next. Encourage collective bravery!
• “I feel powerless!”: Can you imagine how
powerless the victim feels? At least if you
stand up to the bully there will be two of you.
Trust yourself that your actions can make a
difference.
• “The victim deserves it!”: This is not about
whether you like the victim or not; this is about
right or wrong! No matter your feelings, be
true to the human being you are.
• “Telling a teacher or parent will make me
a snitch!”: This is possible, but only to the
perpetrator (and possibly a few Instigating
Bystanders). Other bystanders may secretly
also have a problem with the actions taking
place and they will back you, and even look up
to you as the voice of bravery. Who would you
rather impress?
Bystanders who don’t intervene or don’t report
the bullying often end up grappling with their
own shortcomings. They may lose respect for
themselves and feel the following emotions:
• Guilt
• Anxiety
• Powerlessness
• Vulnerability
• Fear
Become a Helpful Bystander
There are three key actions to directly stopping the
abuse. They are: discourage, defend and redirect
(DDR). DDR occurs when a bystander uses their voice
to directly discourage the behaviour, defend the
victim and to redirect the focus by highlighting the
consequences. A good example is the following:
• “Hey! This is crazy behaviour and it has to stop
right now.” (Discourage)
• The victim isn’t as strong as you. (Defend)
• Do you really want this guy (the victim) to be the
reason you get suspended and miss out on the
rugby tour? (Redirect)
Other bystanders don’t deal with the situation directly.
They choose to rather get help from others. They do
this by rallying support from peers to stand up against
bullying or by reporting the incident to adults, such as
parents or teachers.
The Trinitonian | 19