Pittsburgh Patrika October 2018 issue

The Pittsburgh Patrika, Vol, 24, No. 1, October 2018
to terms with cruel games Life/Fate/Bad Luck plays with people.
A great many variations are there in the details of the rites from region
to region and even within the region in different families with customs
evolving over several centuries, compounded by geographic isolation.
Even fifty years ago, for people who die after a long life, siblings and
cousins, nephews and nieces, and grand-kids and also close friends assemble
for the 13th day Pujas to joyfully reminisce the life of the departed.
There is a great fellowship and camaraderie in these celebrations.
13-day death rites and celebrations, which was OK during our
The countryside leisurely life, are simply not sustainable in today even
in India, not to speak of Hindus living outside. There are several practical
reasons: For starters, today, the members of the family are scattered
globally. Further, people have only two weeks of paid vacations, and
they have very busy work routines. Children need to go to schools and
colleges. And people running shops or small businesses cannot afford to
be away from their shops for long duration.
Today, relatives — sometimes even siblings — rarely participate in
all the key events such as the cremation itself, immersion of the ash, and
the 10th and 13th day events. It simply is not possible in contemporary
lifestyle.
The saddest part of the system as it exists today is that often the husband
and wife do the 9th and 10th day rites, and the 13th day puja all by
themselves, or with very few people to give them emotional support.
A great opportunity is thus lost for the extended family members and
friends to commiserate among themselves during such a somber and evocative
occasion. We need to remember that after the death of aged parents,
the siblings slowly and naturally drift apart in any case.
So, the 13-day death rites even for observant Hindus, for all intents
and purposes, are already modified to varying degrees to to accommodate
the present day constraints and lifestyles.
Need for Reform on Death Rites
Given our changed lifestyle today, it is time that we are honest to discuss
in the open the need for reform on death rites. We need to come up with
a set of shortened and reformed death rites that will be the standard for
all Hindus who cremate the mortal remains of the departed Jiva.
In stating this, I am NOT suggesting any radical change Those who
want to do in the traditional 13-day event may continue to do it that
way. However, for others who have other constraints as listed earlier,
we can come up with death rites that can be done, say, within three days
after the cremation, while still retaining the key elements of the 13-day
events. Thus, the whole sequence will be completed within 3 days after
14