JAVA Dec '18 issue

I don’t know a single person who has gone to
church in the past 10 years, but everyone has
a Christmas tree, and I’ve got a feeling baby
Jesus has nothing to do with it. Santa wins
hands down.
There are so many things you’re going to unintentionally spoil in your child’s life,
especially once they turn 12 and your existence becomes a big inconvenience,
so you can’t risk being a Santa spoiler. That’s a lot of pressure, but it makes the
holidays so exciting and worth it.
Christmas Eve: Leaving out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for his reindeer,
sprinkling sparkly reindeer food on the front lawn to make sure your house
isn’t accidentally passed over, trying to stay awake to possibly hear a sound or
see a glimpse of this North Pole superhero. Then, the sheer bliss of morning,
knowing he came and fulfilled all your wishes – it is the closest thing to a fantasy
we’ll ever get to genuinely believe in. Watching your own child lets you relive
those feelings, only it’s better because you are partially responsible for all that
giddiness and happiness, the lit-up faces and smiles when they tear open boxes
and find just want they wanted. But that only lasts so long.
I strung my daughter along as long as I possibly could. She was about eight when
I felt my heart beginning to crack as she figured out I was the Tooth Fairy. She
looked at me and said with conviction, “I know you are the Tooth Fairy, which
means you must be the Easter Bunny too, because that’s just ridiculous. But at
least I know Santa is real.” Somehow a large hopping bunny with a basket and
a Mary-like fairy collecting teeth to turn into stars were declared ridiculous, but
a man who runs a workshop full of mini-magic people and then flies around the
entire world in one night seemed completely reasonable.
Like me, she was a late believer in Santa, and last Christmas, when she was
12, there was a slight inkling of hope. But it just wasn’t the same. She made it
impossible for me as she kept asking me repeatedly with watery eyes if Santa
was real. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. Why couldn’t she just find out like
everyone else, through school and her cousins, and not say anything to me out of
fear that it would affect her gift pile? That’s the only reason I never confronted
my parents, I was terrified that it would lead to a certain gift reduction. I’m pretty
sure they still hid gifts from me until I went to college.