Anger management

Ask yourself why you’re angry (problem solve). If you ask yourself why you’re angry, and
really think about your answer, you might figure out a problem you can solve or even uncover
some of the sneaky feelings that feel like anger.
Use “if–then” statements to consider the consequences. If–then statements mean that you ask
yourself what might happen if you do something. They are best used when you are deciding what
to do about a situation or problem. If–then statements help you make better choices by helping
you understand the consequences of your actions.
Count up to or down from 10. Sometimes, quietly counting to 10 is something some people do
to stop themselves from doing something too quickly. Counting to 10 as soon as you notice
you’re having an angry reaction can give an angry person just enough think time to make sure
their first idea is a good idea
Listen to another person. If you’re angry about something or with someone else, talking to
someone and listening to their perspective—even the person you’re angry with—may help you
understand exactly what caused the problem so you can fix it.
Focus on your breathing. Focusing on breathing can help during angry moments in several
ways. First, it takes your attention away from the anger for a moment, just like when you count
to 10.
Second, breathing in a certain way, slowly and deeply (so deeply that your belly moves, too), and
in through your nose and out through your mouth, can often help people who are angry to begin
to calm down.
Take a walk or step away. Change the environment by taking a walk or stepping away if you
can. Just like counting to 10, and thinking about your breathing, walking away from a situation
that is making you angry can sometimes help prevent you from reacting to a situation too.
Give yourself some good advice (self-talk). Self-talk means that you say to yourself the things
that a good friend would say to calm you down, such as, “Calm down,” “Maybe it’s not that
bad,” or “Let it go.” It is best used when you first notice that you are angry (emotional reaction
stage). Its purpose is to help calm you down.
Look for the humor—without making fun of someone. Sometimes we get angry for silly
reasons that are hard to explain. Maybe you don’t even really want to be angry. Sometimes, if
there is no danger, you can count to 10 and imagine what it must look like if this whole angry
situation was something you were watching in a TV comedy. Sometimes, when you really think
about it, some of the things that make us angry can seem really silly.
SUGGESTIONS FOR LONG-TERM ANGER MANAGEMENT
• Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad.
• Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution.