2018 Spring Kansas Child

in Kids - a working metaphor
JOHN H. PRESLEY
MSW
love and affection for her boys. Our work
was easier and successful for that reason.
Her resilient nature helped provide a
caring home for her children, though not
in a way that was consistent with the
values of many people around her.
Another memory is that of
a 5-year-old girl whose
mother murdered
her older sister
and attempted to
suffocate her. She
was brought
to therapy to
help her deal
with that
trauma.
It didn’t
take many
sessions
to help her
get past the
nightmares
and some
intrusive
thoughts,
but we
spent a
significant
amount
of time
working
on her aggressive and even
rebellious behavior.
Frankly, I was thrilled
to work with her and her
guardians on those issues,
simply because that quality
was what kept her alive in a
situation many of us would
not have survived.
These examples illustrate what I think
of as inherent resilience – that is, people
who seem to have an inborn quality,
that allows them to combat the effects
of trauma. Their management may not
conform to a generally accepted manner,
but it demonstrates their coping capacity.
Looking for and finding this capacity is
essential as we work with the children
entrusted to our care and skill.
This emphasis helps those of us who
work with children to look past the
presenting behavior for elements of
resilience. Part of this process has to do
with our presence. Nearly every child
who develops into a resilient person
has an adult mentor/role model. Brooks
cites Emmy Werner’s description as:
“a person in their lives who accepted
them unconditionally, regardless of
temperamental idiosyncrasies, physical
attractiveness, or intelligence.”
In addition to the unconditional
acceptance cited here, there are a number
of specific steps we can take to promote
our mutual awareness of the strengths and
capacity of children. A question I learned
to ask right after hearing the recitation
of the “problem statement” (a phrase I
learned in graduate school) was, “What
are you good at?” A common reaction to
this question made it clear that the child
(and sometimes the parents) had trouble
thinking about him/herself in positive
terms. The focus on “the problem” made it
difficult for both the child and the parents
to think in these terms.
When it was difficult for the child
or parent to respond, I would look for
descriptions of preferred activities that
provided clues about the child’s interests
and abilities.
Once the initial strengths have been
identified, it is important for the adult to
comment, typically restating what was said
by or about the child. However, it seems
important to make that restatement in
a direct and “businesslike” manner. An
over-the-top “Gee-Whiz, that’s great!!”
reaction frequently undermines the
impact. Restating it in a way that suggests
John Presley, MSW, has worked in juvenile
justice, child psychiatry, residential treatment,
pediatrics and community mental health. He
retired from Central Kansas Mental Center
after 24 years. He focused on work with
children and families throughout his career.
the child’s strengths come as no surprise
reinforces the notion that you suspected
that the child always had it in them to do
something positive.
Finally, it becomes important to include
the identified strengths in the planning
for whatever is to take place in the school,
center or wherever the child is being
engaged. Using the strengths as a starting
point allows the child some degree of
control and freedom to grow on his or
her terms.
There are several benefits to taking
this approach of identifying the Islands
of Competence. The first is that children
start to see themselves as capable people,
something that may be a very different
experience for them. Secondly, parents
and even professionals change their
perspective from seeking out the problems
to starting out with an assumption that
the child has abilities that deserve to be
recognized and can be used to promote
their development.
Discovering the Islands of Competence
builds a larger model of competency that
carries over into managing life’s routine
issues, which can minimize an emphasis
on “problems” and maximizes the mindset
of capability.
Finally, the idea of developing a model
of strength-based work is simply more
pleasant for all concerned. Constantly
attending to failures/problems wears
people down emotionally.
This model allows tension to be reduced,
problems to become manageable and
promotion of a positive, life-long approach
to the issues that confront us all. n
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