2018 Spring Kansas Child

BIGR
THE
Alice Eberhart-Wright, Child and Family Specialist
I call it the Big R – RELATIONSHIPS. I don’t
have to go running to the library for books to review
today because my collection of children’s books is
full of stories of relationships.
How do we help children
become compassionate, caring
adults? Through stories – told,
listened to, and read. Here are
some of my new favorites.
The Pillow Fairy was
written by Marcia G. Riley
and illustrated by Joni E. Patterson, two Kansans.
It’s a delightful story about a 3-year-old who would
not sleep in his own bed. His mother helped him
do that by making up a story about the pillow fairy,
who left a little gift under the pillow of a child who
was able to stay in his own bed all night. Obviously,
this author knows how hard that feat can be for
some young children and how the adults caring for
them have to know how to turn on the magic to
help children take a developmental step that seems
gigantic.
I Love You, Little Monkey, by Alan Durant and
illustrated by Katharine McEwen, is written as much
for adults as for children. It’s all about adults needing
to get everyday tasks done while the children just
want someone to play with them. When an adult
is busy with some necessary chore, the child will
amuse him or herself by doing something that
either undoes what the adult has accomplished or
creates a new, time-consuming job. Children seem to
particularly enjoy an activity that invariably breaks
something or makes a mess. Sometimes this is very
hard, but we have to teach them to be sorry while
helping them understand that we love them, but
sometimes not their choices. In this delightful book
the little monkey throw all the figs Big Monkey has
gathered for dinner, jumps on the bed Big Monkey
has carefully made, and climbs and lands on Big
Monkey when he’s trying to take a nap. Then, by
some miracle, Big Monkey talks to
Little Monkey and he apologizes. Big
Monkey forgives and plays with him.
One more important thing, Big Monkey
apologizes for yelling at Little Monkey.
What a monumental task for parents
and teachers! Use discipline to teach
rather than punish. And, notice that
Big Monkey is a he, not a she. We have
moved beyond thinking that it’s only
mothers who do household chores.
Billy Tibbles Moves Out! is another
story about relationship challenges
that routinely occur in the course of
development. Billy Tibbles is a darling little
boy cat that is supposed to welcome his
little brother, Eric, into his personal space.
He doesn’t want to, and storms around the
house insisting this will not happen. He
will show his parent. He would rather sleep
in the bathtub or move out to the shed. He
protests sharing bedtime stories with both
Eric and little sister, Twinkle. Then the 3
little kittens find they can find some fun in
the midst of all their fighting and anger. They
can be wild and noisy, cling together
when there are scary things, and
begin to create havoc for parents.
Dad is not sure he wants to share
all this noise and commotion in
his haven of a home, but the kids
remind him that he has to share,
too. Time, space, different needs –
all are part of being a family.
What about the babies? The Big
R is all about relationships. Any
board book, a lap, and time to
encourage and develop babies’
skills to learn words, turn pages,
and begin real communication is
all that is required. Find the time
to do it, frequently. n
22 Kansas Child A Publication of Child Care Aware ® of Kansas