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PW OPINION PW NEWS PW LIFE PW ARTS<br />

•ADVICE•<br />

BY PATTI CARMALT-VENER<br />

A PROMISE<br />

AND A PLAN<br />

AS CONFUCIUS SAID, ‘IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW SLOWLY YOU GO,<br />

SO LONG AS YOU DO NOT STOP’<br />

Dear Patti,<br />

How do I pick New Year’s resolutions and successfully reach my goals?<br />

— Christie<br />

With New Year’s resolutions come a sense of hope, excitement, a desire to make life better,<br />

a chance for renewal and a dream of a new self that resonates deep inside.<br />

Start by making a list of all the changes you want to accomplish in the next 12 months.<br />

The sky’s the limit! This is a chance to go through a thoughtful self-analysis and determine<br />

what’s important to you. Go over your resolutions carefully and narrow the list down to<br />

five.<br />

The goals you choose should be important to you, not what others expect. Plan out and<br />

write a statement of intent that is specific, realistic and contains measurable goals. Don’t<br />

write “get out of debt” but rather “I want the loan to my grandparents paid off by June and<br />

all my credit cards paid off by the end of the year.”<br />

Write a statement of intent about each of your resolutions, one that is specific, realistic<br />

and contains measurable goals. Resolution statements tend to come with a “should” or a<br />

“must.” You will more likely be successful, however, if you make it a “want to” intention<br />

rather than a “have to” chore. Keep your written action plan with you at all times and<br />

practice every day, one day at a time. Remember that something big and important usually<br />

takes a while to accomplish. With the passage of each week, try to lovingly look at what<br />

went wrong and — with new clarity — reset your intentions for the coming week.<br />

Create a resolution calendar marked with clear small achievements to keep you on<br />

track and give you the confidence to continue. Practice, practice, practice!<br />

Research shows that only 12 percent of participants in a resolution study actually<br />

achieved their goals. Identifying your resolutions is fairly undemanding. Following through<br />

and making it a success can be overwhelming. Start actively harnessing your motivation<br />

today and resolve to achieve your resolutions one day at a time for one year. Keep your written<br />

statement and your planning calendar in a highly visible space to serve as a reminder of<br />

the new strategies you’re incorporating into your life. Schedule dedicated time each week<br />

to monitor the results and make adjustments. Your life is a work in progress. Nothing big<br />

gets accomplished overnight. Resolutions are set in one day but are implemented with a<br />

hundred tiny steps that happen throughout the whole year.<br />

Visualize how amazing it will be to have your goal completed. Change of any kind is<br />

challenging, but if you persist and appreciate each accomplishment you make, the new you<br />

will be well worth the effort. New Year’s resolutions can be your chance to decide what you<br />

want to change about your life and truly change it, an opportunity to go through thoughtful<br />

self-analysis and take an introspective look at what’s really important to you.<br />

If you slack off, don’t be critical; just get back to following through on your goals. Focus<br />

on a desire to make life better, a chance for renewal and a dream of a new self that resonates<br />

deep inside. By working on your goal all year long, you can be one of the few able to<br />

say that you really did keep your New Year’s resolution.<br />

Seek inspiration in the words of the following luminaries:<br />

“Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year<br />

find you a better man.” — Benjamin Franklin<br />

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” — Albert Einstein<br />

“You were born with potential. You were born with goodness and trust. You were born<br />

with greatness. You were born with wings. You were not meant for crawling, so don’t. You<br />

have wings; learn to use them and fly.” — Rumi<br />

“Never, ever give up.” — Sir Winston Churchill<br />

In the words of Confucius, “It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not<br />

stop.”<br />

By working on your goal all year long, you can be one of the few able to say that you really<br />

did keep your New Year’s resolution.<br />

Take care and have a wonderful New Year! n<br />

Patti Carmalt-Vener, a faculty member with the Southern California Society for Intensive Short Term<br />

Psychotherapy, is a psychotherapist in private practice with offices in Pasadena, Santa Monica and Canoga Park.<br />

Contact her at (626) 584-8582 or email pcarmalt@aol.com. Visit her website, patticarmalt-vener.com.<br />

<strong>01.03.19</strong> | PASADENA WEEKLY 13

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