JAVA.Feb.2019

Being at the plasma donation center is what
I imagine it would be like at a meth den, only
there are lights and it’s cleaner.
the boat on that one, but while I was chatting with a friend who had also been
looking for easy ways to make cash, she enlightened me to plasma donation.
They paid $40 or so for a donation. It sounded like a good idea.
Have you ever donated plasma? It’s easy, and they give you a cookie afterward,
but that doesn’t quite sum up the experience. Being at the plasma donation
center is what I imagine it would be like at a meth den, only there are lights and
it’s cleaner. While I lay there with the needle vacuuming out my fluids, it certainly
didn’t make me think of my parents and say “If they could only see me now!” I
suspect most people go straight from the donor place to the meth distribution
center. It’s not a pretty crowd. I don’t know why donating blood is considered a
kind of heroic and noble act but plasma donation implies that you eat smack for
breakfast. Is it because blood is a donation, but you get paid for plasma? If so, I
wonder where did the plasma people go wrong? Plasma is also an essential body
fluid. Shouldn’t we be encouraged to give it for free? Where are the plasma blood
drives? Somebody really dropped the ball.
Another great way to make easy money that I still do to this day is field research.
This is where you provide a marketing agency your information and they send
you surveys to determine if you qualify for a study. The studies are funded by big
corporations that are looking to do focus groups and gather more information
about their products or trends. I have participated in many of these research studies
over the years, and they are the best thing going, especially when times are tight. In
the waiting room they provide limitless snacks like pretzels, cookies and goldfish.
Yes, free goldfish! Once you are called in, it’s about an hour or two of genial
banter and questions while being monitored from behind a two-way mirror, and
you walk out $150 richer. This is preferable to the plasma center. Trust me.
My Year of Action has already included one research study. It was the best one
yet. I responded to a survey, indicating that, yes, I do have a cat, two in fact. And,
yes, I do play with these cats. No, I would not mind if someone came to my house
and observed me playing with my cats. Once they arrived, the researcher pulled
out a very exciting toy. I asked what they wanted me to do, but they wouldn’t
say and would only instruct me to “play as usual.” My cats played like they
knew we were getting paid. They were so cute I thought for sure it was for a
cat commercial. I continued to ask, what do you want, what should they do? But
they wouldn’t give any details, only the directive to play as if no one were there.
Once the “research” was done, they let me know it was not for a commercial.
It was part of the development of a new camera app involving high-tech motion
detection. In other words, they were just looking for some action.