The Point: Spring 2019

“Sometimes parents make choices
about how to engage with their child
based on their own needs or what they
did or did not receive in their own
childhood,” said Dr. Aundrea Paxton,
Psychology Adjunct Professor. “Nevertheless,
just because one parents in
this fashion does not mean that they
do not love their child or is trying to
hurt them. Often choices that we make
in parenting and other relationships
in our lives are unconscious and we
can sincerely believe that we’re doing
what’s in the best interest of the child.”
One of the most important steps in
caring for those who suffer from the
symptoms of an eating disorder is to
remind them that they are not alone.
Various campus departments ranging
from the BCC to Resident Life offer
their support to affected students.
Dean of Student Wellness Lisa Igram
expressed Biola’s eagerness to help any
students who come to them.
“Biola cares deeply for students who
struggle with disordered eating and
eating disorders. Support and care for
those with eating disorders requires
an interdisciplinary approach, which
at Biola may include Student Care, the
Health Center, the Biola Counseling
Center, and referrals to off-campus resources,
depending on what the student
most needs,” Igram said in an email.
“We are ready and waiting to support
you!”
No disorder is too small to ask for
help. The smallest of thoughts could
be the start of a future demon. One
of the potentially dangerous factors
that contributes to any form of an
eating disorder is an individual telling
themselves that their rejection of their
own body is too minor for them to ask
for help.
On their own, eating disorders are
huge monsters to tackle. However, the
methods of self-punishment created by
fat-shaming are not limited to eating
disorders alone. Over time, a seemingly
small comment is capable of sending
an individual into spaces of of hurt
and self-harm that can take years of
rehabilitation to heal.
“Sometimes people feel trapped with
their emotions within their own bodies.
Self-harming is a way of releasing
extreme feelings of shame, guilt and
self-hatred when they do not have the
skills sufficient for addressing their
pain,” Robins said.
For Elena*, the emotional pain was
coupled with physical pain. She shared
about her experiences of coping with
her hurt through cutting.
“For me, cutting was a form of
self-punishment that gave me an
immediate release from the guilt that
I received from my parents if I ate too
much,” she said.
Those who are faced with less than
pleasant criticism of their body can
find hope in a solution. In some cases,
painful comments made toward us by
our families often have more to do
with their love for us than any harmful
intent. By humanizing our families,
we can look past the toxicity and into
their personal struggle with self-love.
Outweighing the thoughtless words by
remembering that in a healthy family
no one, including ourselves, loves us
more than our parents.
*Elena’s name was changed in order to
protect her identity.
By humanizing our
families, we can
look past the
toxicity and into
their personal
struggle with
self-love.
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