20888 ACE Language (Yr 4) Pronoun Reference and Text Connectives

What’s wrong?
1. (a) Read the text and think about why it doesn’t sound right.
Bill and Ben are twins. Bill and Ben like to do the same things. One afternoon Bill
and Ben were helping Bill and Ben’s dad cook dinner. He was making his famous
stew. One of the things Bill and Ben liked doing was chopping up the vegetables
to put in the stew. Bill and Ben’s dad said Bill and Ben could do this if Bill and Ben
were very careful with the knives he gave Bill and Ben. Bill and Ben added Bill
and Ben’s vegetables to the stew. Then Bill and Ben’s dad’s phone rang. Bill and
Ben’s dad went away to talk. Bill and Ben knew Bill and Ben’s dad liked hot stew
so Bill and Ben added some hot spices. Bill put in the chilli then Bill’s twin added
the same. Ben put in some pepper and Ben’s brother added Bill’s too. Bill and Ben
continued adding the same spices until Dad returned, then Bill and Ben left. Mum
was very pleased that dinner was ready when Bill and Ben’s mum got home. Bill
and Ben’s mum took one mouthful, Bill and Ben’s mum’s face went red and Bill
and Ben’s mum raced to get some water. Bill and Ben
and Bill and Ben’s dad had all added the same spices …
and was it hot!
(b) Explain what’s wrong with it.
(c)
Change all the Bill and Ben words so it sounds better. Write your new words
above Bill and Ben. Try to make the text more interesting by using words such
as ‘the twins’ or ‘the silly boys’ as well as pronouns such as ‘they’ and ‘them’.
(d) Circle one word.
My new text: (i) is more interesting/boring.
(ii) takes more/less space?
(iii) makes it easier/harder to understand.
(iv) gives more/less information.
Australian Curriculum English – Language: Text structure and organisation (Year 4) www.ricpublications.com.au R.I.C. Publications ®
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Understand how texts are made cohesive through the use of linking devices including pronoun reference and text connectives (ACELA1491)
© Australian Curriculum: Assessment and Reporting Authority 2012