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mama bird<br />
I speak out loud often, "be kind, be brave, be love..."<br />
My grandmother is one of the most<br />
beautiful women I have ever met, and<br />
in her 80's today, she is even still. I<br />
remember we would visit her and my<br />
PaPa every summer and she would have<br />
her hair done every week and lay on a<br />
silk pillow case so it would keep it's<br />
shape. Her red fingernails were always<br />
perfection too. She would let me lay in her<br />
with<br />
open hands<br />
lap as she would run her fingers through<br />
my hair. Growing up, she was never<br />
without her panty hose and rouge...and<br />
I remember her silk house slippers, so her<br />
hose wouldn't run. She was so graceful<br />
and soft spoken and always kind. She<br />
made the best layered chocolate cake I<br />
have ever had...to this day. So. many.<br />
layers. It was magic.<br />
by Krista Sartin<br />
@thedoorposts<br />
Founder of @kanthabae<br />
thedoorposts.co<br />
photos by Joy Prouty<br />
wildflowersphotos.com<br />
My mother is like her in a lot of ways. Her<br />
house is always in order and she rarely<br />
leaves the house without her makeup and<br />
hair fixed, but I finally got her to wear a<br />
pair of leggings and a top knot instead of<br />
being so "put together" to run up to the<br />
grocery store. My mother is a servant and<br />
loves people. I don't think she thinks of<br />
herself for even a minute. I remember she<br />
would read and read to us. I love to read because of her. She<br />
loved us with her whole self and still does.<br />
Now as a mom myself, I look back on my childhood perception<br />
of my mother and understand her so much better. I am not<br />
nearly as kind and patient as she is, but I'm learning. Being<br />
a mom has been an undoing for me. I remember when I held<br />
Lagen for the first time, such love overcame me, but such fear<br />
too. I had such a struggle with my identity as a woman, as a<br />
wife, and newly as a mother. I was afraid I couldn't measure<br />
up and that I would never be enough for him. Now with 5<br />
littles and nearly a decade later, my story is much the same,<br />
but fear is not my cage anymore.<br />
Living my life with open hands hasn't always been my<br />
mantra. In my motherhood journey, I have learned "the<br />
doorposts" of my life because I have been forced to look in<br />
a mirror every day. An unforgiving one. When my children<br />
start to have patterns and tendencies that reflect my<br />
weaknesses, that mirror is rather ugly. I speak out loud<br />
often, "be kind, be brave, be love...." for myself and for<br />
them! In my weakness and brokenness, I want my children<br />
to know the goal. "Open your hands," I tell them, "Don't be<br />
afraid." "Love God, love people."<br />
It is easy for me to be insecure, to set the bar too high for<br />
myself...To try to fit a mold of motherhood by a pretty picture<br />
on my instagram feed. But no, I was crafted and designed by<br />
an All Powerful Creator, beautifully fashioned in His image<br />
to be bold and brave and live an abundant and full life. But<br />
even more, I was made to be the mother each of my children<br />
need. This is me. And me is enough for them. I have a little<br />
vintage sign in the kids' bathroom that says, "There are but<br />
two lasting bequests we can give our children, the first is roots and the last<br />
is wings." I hope that when I give them wings, they look at the road ahead<br />
and say, "Look out 'cause here I come."<br />
It's not an easy road, but I wouldn't trade motherhood or the undoing that<br />
came with it, for anything. I am stronger, braver, kinder because of my<br />
babes. I know who I am and I am not afraid anymore of the thoughts of<br />
others. This is me, and I can be me...boldly.<br />
After a very stressful few weeks, I looked at Landon and said, "we're gonna<br />
be ok babes." He said, "ya know, I don't think so, I think we are just going<br />
to be." I understood him immediately. "Being" is enough. "Ok" is passing<br />
and usually doesn't last very long, but "being" present, kind, love, brave...<br />
no matter the circumstance...well, I can land there.<br />
I'm definitely not all put together and I don't sleep on a silk pillowcase or<br />
have a perfectly neat house, but my heritage of mothers have helped me<br />
become the woman I am today. They have walked my journey too and now<br />
I understand it. You are beautiful and you can be you boldly. Motherhood<br />
is an undoing, a beautiful journey of becoming, and you are worthy of it.<br />
54 bohocollective.com<br />
bohocollective.com 55
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