Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 429 July 31, 2019

THOMAS
TALKS
ABOUT: GUESSING
and IDK if he’s even
gay. -Male, Gay, 28
GAMES
I have a straight best
friend that I met in
college, and up until
two months ago he’s
never given me any
inclination that he’s
gay. One night we
were hanging at my
apartment, having a
few drinks, and he
made a joke about
kissing me. Then, he
leaned over and did
it. We both laughed,
no big deal. But then
he started to kiss me
again, and we ended
up making out for a
long time. We hung
out the following
week, and neither of
us mentioned it. Then
like a week after that
and we made out
again; he initiated it.
It’s been back and
forth like this, and now
we’ve made out four
times. I don’t know if I
want it to go further…
he’s my best friend,
but I don’t think I’d
want to “date” him,
The issue here isn’t
about if he is or isn’t
“gay,” it’s that you keep
making out but not
talking about it. You
don’t know where either
of you stand on what’s
going on. Acknowledge
the situation (while
you’re not drinking).
He might tell you that
he has feelings for
you, he’s just having
fun, he thinks he’s gay
or maybe he’s curious
and feels safe with you.
Then be honest with
him about how you
feel. Do you want it to
continue? Under what
circumstances (i.e., just
fun, dating, friends with
benefits)?
I’ve been hooking up
with a guy from an
app for the last month,
and after we hung out
last he mentioned he’s
married to a woman
and has a couple kids.
I realize this isn’t
completely unheard of,
but I wasn’t expecting
it, and he could see it
on my face. He told
me that he loves his
wife and would never
leave her, but that
he also “loves dick
so much.” As far as I
know, this the first
time I’ve had sex with
a married guy, and
I feel EXTREMELY
guilty about it. Am
I responsible for his
cheating? I keep
thinking about what
might happen if his
kids found out. I like
the sex, but maybe
I shouldn’t do it
anymore with him?
-Male, Gay, 37
At the end of the day,
you’re not responsible
for anyone else’s
actions. With that said,
a lot of guys could be
in your situation and
not care, but you do,
and that’s OK. Because
you’re concerned,
and this is NYC, I’d
recommend just finding
someone else to have
sex with. There are
probably dozens of
guys within blocks
of you that would be
willing to have sex, so
if you’re just looking
for sex, go with your
other options. It seems
like the situation with
the current guy could
potentially become
a lot of drama, and if
deep emotions aren’t
involved, is it worth it?
Probably not.
Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: ThomasTalksAbout@gmail.com
@ThomasWhitfield84