You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
GIRL ON FARMER<br />
BY CELIA BERESFORD<br />
I was really looking forward to seeing the show at<br />
Comerica. Not only was I meeting my monthly antiaging<br />
quota, it was also a band I love. One of the<br />
things about getting older is that so many things that<br />
happen are just so lame, especially because they are<br />
so stereotypical and predictable. I’m not even talking<br />
about the terrifying things that start happening to<br />
your face. I mean the middle-agey behaviors that<br />
creep up on you. You go to bed earlier, you can’t<br />
sleep, the idea of heavy drinking two nights in a<br />
row is laughable, and weekend/weeknight – who<br />
cares? Organizing my wildflower seed collection is<br />
preferable to going to the bar, and knowing that I<br />
have all of the laundry done is woefully satisfying. In<br />
response, I decided that, in addition to my daily olive<br />
oil face scrub to combat wrinkles (a battle lost years<br />
ago, if I’m honest), I also need to implement an antiaging<br />
behavior plan.<br />
Part of this plan is going to see a show at least<br />
once a month. In the past, I could easily squeeze in<br />
a few good bands each month. Now, I excitedly put<br />
something on the calendar, but when it comes to<br />
the night of the actual event, I’m like, “Meh, I’ve got<br />
seeds to sort.” This kind of nonsense is unacceptable<br />
in Operation Youthiness: It’s Showtime. I’m doing<br />
OK at meeting the monthly quota, but the necessary<br />
motivation to get to some shows is easier than<br />
others. And this was one of them. I had been waiting<br />
for The National to come back to town since they had<br />
played at the Tempe Marquee years ago. I had floor<br />
tickets and was ready for some young fun.<br />
Young fun typically involves some drinking. But<br />
since when you’re over 35 you have to pee every<br />
10 to 12 minutes, it was important that I put some<br />
restrictions on my liquid intake. This is easy to do at<br />
most venues, where a beer costs more than the Lyft<br />
ride to get there. While in line for my beer, I had to<br />
dig out my “wallet.” Wallet is a generous term for<br />
the cloth sack that I pack to the brim with nonsense<br />
like used subway passes, outdated library cards, hard<br />
half pieces of gum, lucky beads, innumerable scraps<br />
of paper where I’ve collected brilliant, yet illegible,<br />
stoned thoughts, ibuprofen tablets that look like rats<br />
have chewed them, and roughly 66 cents in pennies.<br />
The zipper is broken and it is very dirty. There were<br />
cute embroidered farm animals on the front, but now<br />
they just look like colored blobs.<br />
38 <strong>JAVA</strong><br />
MAGAZINE
Change language