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30 — VANGUARD, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2019 My husband’s friend is hot! Dear Bunmi, I’ve been with my husband for over ten years and we have three lovely children and a good house of our own. We both have good jobs and life is good. Although I love my husband to bits, I’ve fancied his very good friend for years. He’s been quite helpful and friendly to me, and I even get jealous if he speaks of other women. Married to a mama’s boy My husband is completely tied to his mother’s apron strings. At first it was kind of endearing, but now it’s starting to really get on my nerves. She fusses over him non-stop, taking him lunches at work and even bringing him local soups she swears he loves. It might be alright if he was a teenager, but he’s 36 years old for God’s sake! Now the whole situation is starting to affect how masculine I see him in the bedroom department. I could take over from her, but I’m a busy career woman and I’d prefer Her cruel taunts put me off sex Dear Bunmi, My ex-girlfriend left me feeling so paranoid about sex that I am now nervous about getting involved with women again. I suffer from premature ejaculation and she made me feel like it was my fault and somehow I was doing it just to spite her. She kept telling me only “kids” suffer from it and I should ‘grow up’ and learn to satisfy a woman. Is there a pill I could take to cure it? I’ve tried most of the recommended methods but none works very well. If there isn’t a drug, is there anything else you could suggest? Albert, by e-mall. Dear Albert, Of course, it is not your fault. One in three men struggles with premature ejaculation, PE, at some point in their lives. It can happen to anyone, no matter how old or sexually experienced you are. Your exgirlfriend is as misguided as she is rude. You’re lucky to be rid of her! There is a lot of research If he hits on me, it’s going to require all my willpower to turn him down! Christy, by e-mail. Dear Christy, What you’re describing has all the signs of lust, not love. You’re happy with your home and husband, but you want the excitement of strong emotion. So, you lust after this man from a distance, get jealous if him to man-up and learn to look after himself, instead of running to his mum to wipe his nose! We have only one child of school age. Ifeoma, by e-mail. Dear Ifeoma, I can understand why you’re upset. Women generally want a man who would look after us and protect us, and it doesn’t feel like your man is that when his mother pampers him all of the time. As a career woman, it’s obvious taking over domestic chores is the least of your problems. being done on PE. Some of the latest thinking is that it could be hereditary. It could also have something to do with the levels of chemicals (serotonin and dopamine) in your brain. High levels of dopamine appear to trigger early ejaculation, and high levels of serotonin appear to delay it. Drugs like antidepressants can help restore the balance...and getting lots of exercise also seems to help. Scientists are currently working on a pill to ‘cure’ PE. But it has to be perfected and he sees someone else. The reality is, if you knew your partner’s best friend as well as you know your husband, you’d feel the same about him. You’d be affectionate but restless. So, instead of trying to hurriedly have a bite of the forbidden fruit, hoping not to be caught, put your energy back into loving your husband. Talk yourself out of doing anything you’ll later be very ashamed of. You might be focused on your career but men don’t like getting their own meals all the time! Try to calmly discuss with him about his mother backing off. But not before you’ve sorted out domestic alternatives like a reliable househelp, for instance, since you can obviously afford one. On top of which you could do a few things to take care of him as part of your loving, nurturing relationship. Role reversals in a marriage sounds interesting but it’s not popular in this neck of the woods! approved, and drugs are not the answer for everyone. In the meantime, you can learn to manage your PE. Go to the American website www.goodinbed.com and download an e-book called 'Overcoming Premature Ejaculation'. It is said to be the best book on the subject, and it covers the practical and emotional aspects. Read it, do the exercises and when you feel confident, start dating again. Not all women are as unsympathetic as your ex! High levels of dopamine appear to trigger early ejaculation, and high levels of serotonin appear to delay it, drugs like anti-depressants can help restore the balance and getting lots of exercise also seems to help. Scientists are currently working on a pill to ‘cure’ PE Mum is a pain in the neck! Dear Bunmi, Even now I’m in my mid- 30s, my mother is as overbearing as always. She thinks she knows exactly what’s best for me and has always had my whole life mapped out. For example, as a teenager, we fell out because she didn’t like the make-up I wore and disapproved of my friends. They were friends I really got on well with, but mum wanted me to be friends with her posh friends’ children. These days, her problem is about my choice in men and my career. What can I do to stop her? Temi, by e-mail. Dear Temi, I’m happy with both men Dear Bunmi, I have been married for three years and we have a daughter. I have been secretly seeing one of my husband’s friends for the past six months, though he is also married. We have a sexual relationship and love each other so much. But I feel bad because this man is a better lover than my husband. As a result, I have not had sex with my husband for weeks. I know that this is a wrong thing to do, but I’m very happy this way. Why? Dorothy, by e-mail. Dear Dorothy, Because you have no morals, no scruples, no Could your poor mum be over-compensating for her own life not turning out as planned? Well, let her know she can’t live her life through you. I guess you must have said this to her time and again over the years. Calmly communicate your feeling but learn to step back too. She may never really change. Any mother would be anxious about a daughter in her 30s who isn’t married, especially since the longer you leave childbearing, the more difficult it gets to conceive. Try to brush off her overbearing behaviour as challenging, as it may be. After all, you’re in control of your own life and there’s not much she can do about it now you’re a grown up! What present would impress my married lover? Dear Bunmi, I’ve been involved with a married man for about two years now. This year, I’m thinking of giving him a complete native wear, come Christmas. He seems to be short of this. I don’t care if his wife finds out about where the gift comes from, but from past experience, gifts that look remotely suspicious have been left in my flat. What do you suggest I give him that he could take home? Chichi, by e-mail Dear Chichi, You say you love this man, but wouldn’t you rather have a man of your own to share your birthdays and Christmas' with? Someone you could shower with love and gifts for the whole of various holidays? I think you’re playing a dangerous game. If you think you can give him something so special, he’ll wear it all the time so that his wife will eventually find out about you. This is hurtful to say, but be rest assured that whatever you give him that couldn’t be taken home would be given away to someone else, rather than have his wife find out. Why not get a bottle of good wine to share, or prepare his favourite meal you can eat together? Why not make sure you get out, meet and have fun with other single people? conscience and no common sense, it is clear that you have no respect for your husband, his friendship or your marriage vows. You may think you are happy now, but the joy will evaporate when your husband finds out about your affair. Sexual compatibility is important in a marriage, but it takes a lot more than good sex to make a long, mutually rewarding relationship. Don’t throw away a good future for you and your kid for a sexual fling. By the way, why did you marry your husband in the first place? Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi, Vanguard Newspapers, P.M.B 1007, Apapa, Lagos, or bunmsof@yahoo.co.uk
The NDDC, corruption and the politics of dirt NIGERIA’s Niger-Delta has had a long history of struggle, being one region populated by some of the so-called minority ethnic groups in the country. It has always been a struggle for self-recognition from the larger ethnic groups either individually or as a collective. That is, when peoples of the Niger-Delta are not fighting to be free from the ethnic overlordship of the Hausa/ Fulani, the Yoruba or the Igbo, they are worried by the real or perceived control of any one of the ethnic giants. Under colonial rule, the fight was mostly about political control and representation in the larger scheme of national politics, culminating in the Willinks Commission of 1957. Things remained the same in the years after Nigeria gained political control from British rule and the discovery of crude oil. The trio of Nigeria’s ethnic giants still had their gaze firmly fixed on cash and food crops as their major means of economic survival, be it groundnut or cotton, cocoa and kolanut, palm oil and kernel, etc. But following the spike in the price of crude oil in the world market in 1973 and the realisation that exportation of crude could be an Mobolaji Johnson: A humane soldier and administrator TRIBUTE By TAYO OGUNBIYI THE harsh reality of death as the predictable end of every mortal was succinctly driven home by Williams Shakespeare in one of his enduring works, Julius Ceaser, in the following words: “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, It seems to me most strange that men should fear; Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come”. Death is certainly an integral part of human existence. Either by spiritual insight or medical diagnosis some know ahead of time about the imminence of their death. But for others, death come so suddenly, tragically and at times so painfully. This same death, which Shakespeare describes as a necessary evil, finally caught up with Brigadier General Mobolaji Johnson (rtd) on Wednesday, October 30, 2019 at the age of 83. Mobolaji Johnson, the first Military Governor of Lagos State (1967-1966), reportedly died on that fateful day after a brief illness. His death has since been described as a great loss to Lagos State and indeed the country as a whole. Lagos State Governor, Mr. Babajide Olusola Sanwo-Olu, described the deceased as a dedicated Lagosian with massive contributions to the development of Lagos State in particular and the nation as a whole. The departed illustrious son of Lagos was a constant source of support and inspiration to subsequent governors of Lagos State, especially from 1999 till date. He was always willing to offer his wise counsels and experience whenever the need arose. Even while it was obvious that his health could not really support such easier or faster means of revenue generation than groundnut, cocoa or palm oil, the Niger-Delta has been exploited for its crude oil resources. Gradually the struggle of the peoples of the region would shift from political representation to control of its natural resources (mainly crude oil) and the space from which the resource(s) are derived. The latter aspect of this struggle was focused on the fight against environmental degradation, following the relentless exploitation of the crude oil resources of the Niger-Delta and the consequent destruction of sea and plant life, farmland, water resources and massive pollution of the atmosphere. The symbols of this misuse of state power against a region were and still are the oil exploration companies. The struggle for environmental and civil rights was mostly championed and brought to world attention by the writer, Ken Saro-Wiwa and his Movement for the Survival of Ogoni People, MOSOP. Saro-Wiwa paid heavily for leading this struggle. His life and that of eight others of his associates was the price for that struggle that came to a head on November 10, 1995, when in an rigorous endeavour, Johnson was a regular feature at every major Lagos State government ground breaking events since 1999. Such was his unbelievable commitment to the cause of Lagos State, and that is the exact reason why he would be sorely missed. What is, however, soothing is that Mobolaji Johnson passed away at the ripe age of 83, having served God and humanity in various capacities and fields. A great administrator and rare humanist, Johnson touched and transformed several lives through his life of selfless service and industry. He was a symbol of decency, humility and integrity. His life epitomised the virtues of honesty, fairness and justice. As the First Military Governor of Lagos State, he discharged his mandate equitably with remarkable dignity. His indelible record of service remains intact. The “Centre of Excellence” that we proudly proclaim today is a product of his vision for Lagos State when he conceived several landmark programmes and projects for the newly created state. Even in death, the story of the development of Lagos to a model megacity cannot be told without a mention of this unassuming and worthy leader. Some of the impactful projects he executed as governor are still visible and have definitely outlived the man who did them. In the realisation that Lagos State is the most populous and leading state in the federation, Mobolaji Johnson was determined to turn the state into the pride of the nation. The policy thrust of his administration was shaped by his faith in the creative capabilities and unbounded energies of the people, especially the masses. Thus, his early days in office clearly showed him as a man who brought resourcefulness, experience and dynamism to the task of solving problems ignoble demonstration of the misuse of state power, Ken Saro-Wiwa and eight other men were judicially murdered by the brutal regime of General Sani Abacha. Even though Saro-Wiwa did not live to see the actualisation of the Ogoni or Niger- Delta struggle or its recognition by the Nigerian state, things never stayed the same after the sacrifice he and his associates made. Their struggle and that of others would lead to the establishment of series of intervention programmes such as the Oil Mineral Producing Areas development Commission, OMPADEC and, later, the Niger Delta Development Commission, NDDC, with the main goal of safeguarding both the environmental and civil liberties of the Niger-Delta region. Can the Nigerian state be held accountable for what is now playing out in the Niger-Delta? The recognition that came with Saro-Wiwa’s mostly peaceful struggle was an elixir for copycat groups that would, however, be defined by the violent nature of their struggles which had been diluted and somewhat driven by politicians from the Niger-Delta. Having seen the reward that came from violent struggle, the Niger-Delta became a warehouse of many militias that were variously led by people, most of whom would in a short while rank among the richest in the country and Vanguard, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2019—31 Send Opinions & Letters to: opinions1234@yahoo.com whose credentials kept changing even when their commitment to the struggle had become venal, subject to what was in it for them. They emerged bearing arms and thereafter retreated to the sidelines having amassed wealth that would not let them put their lives on the line for the people in whose name they gained both wealth and recognition. The NDDC that was set up to cater to the needs of the Niger-Delta has become a cash cow from which individuals from the Niger-Delta not inclined or unable to pursue a life of violent struggle, like the so-called militants, draw their share of Niger- Delta wealth. Otherwise, a single politician would not be the beneficiary of hundreds of unexecuted contracts as is now being alleged. Nor would the region be the headquarters of tens of thousands of abandoned or unexecuted projects. The latest struggle among the Niger- Delta elite is to grab a slot on the NDDC Board where millionaires could be made far from the degraded creeks. Under the guise of leading the drive for the infrastructural development of the Niger-Delta, people are now at one another’s throats for a cut of the NDDC pie. Perhaps, this would not matter much if the Commission was still focused on its core mission. But there is increasingly little evidence on the ground to show that the resources allocated to the NDDC are utilised for the good of the Niger-Delta. While people would stop at nothing to get a place on the NDDC and its surrogates in the states, ordinary people of the region are still as exploited and immiserated as they have always been. What was meant to meet the needs of the people have been transformed into an avenue for that linger and hinder the progress of the people of the state. Mobolaji Johnson was first appointed as the Administrator of the Federal Territory of Lagos on January 15, 1966 and later as Military Governor at the creation of the state on May 27, 1967. He recorded considerable achievements during his tenure. His regime witnessed an increase in revenue of the state from N36.7m to N99.7m. The increase was largely due to the revenue allocation formula that had just been introduced and increased revenue from crude oil, which was partly distributed to the state governments. Under his leadership, the state government generated the larger proportion of its revenue from Internally He was a symbol of decency, humility and integrity; his life epitomised the virtues of honesty, fairness and justice Generated Revenue, IGR. According to the government then, the IGR was known as “sources under the control of the Lagos State Government”. It was the Mobolaji Johnson administration that began the construction of Ikorodu and Mushin General Hospitals. It also modernised the General Hospital, Lagos, by building the new mortuary block, physical medicine department, sewage treatment plant and installation of a standby generator. The administration also commissioned the nurses hostel, doctors flat at Marina, Isolo and Harvey Road Health Centres. Also built by the administration was the maternity annex at Onikan Health Centre and additional ward at Igbobi Orthopedic Hospital. It equally opened five new massive corruption and selfgratification, leading to the so-called forensic probe of the NDDC recently ordered by President Muhammadu Buhari. With the possibility of exposure, there are now claims and counter-claims of corruption, mostly along party lines and affiliations, by persons and groups connected to the NNDC and the Niger-Delta as a whole. Even while nominees’ names have been sent for Senate confirmation, an interim board of the NDDC was still put in place. Is this to give room for some to “chop and clean mouth” before a new board is constituted? What is motivating the accusation that the interim board under the chairmanship of a man, Cairo Ojougboh, is not qualified to lead it? Is the issue really one of qualification or pork sharing? Were the past leaders of the NDDC unqualified? If yes, is their lack of qualification the reason the NDDC has had so little to show after receiving so much? What is all the noise about low representation or marginalisation of some ethnic groups in the NDDC for? Another opportunity to clear space for a new set of hungry bellies? The struggle for the soul of the NDDC should tell everyone that things are virtually back full circle to where they were before some control, through various intervention programmes, was ceded to the people of the Niger-Delta. With many in the Niger-Delta now at loggerheads, are the enemies still outside? Can the Nigerian state be held accountable for what is now playing out in the Niger-Delta? Or does the Niger-Delta have to be fragmented and made more restive in the name of development? Government Colleges in each of the five divisions of the state. The Johnson administration also introduced the harmonised teachers’ salaries and conditions of service to enhance the status of the profession and commenced the implementation of the Universal Primary Education, UPE. The administration equally completed projects under the Lagos Water Supply phase1 Expansion Programme and designed the Owo Water Works as an alternative to Iju Water Works, to serve Ojo and environs. Other strides of the administration are: Construction of the Victoria Island Sewage Scheme for Ikoyi, Lagos Island, etc.; introduction of the regulations for motorcyclists to wear crash helmets; introduction of Traffic Courts; establishment of Agricultural Extension Works Stations; construction and commissioning of the Government Printing Press at Isheri road in Ikeja; and so on. A diligent and dedicated military officer, Mobolaji Johnson began his military career at the Zaria Military Depot from 1958 to 1959. He was a member of the United Nations Peace Keeping Troops, Congo between 1960 and 1961. He was promoted Second Lieutenant in the Nigeria Army in 1961, while he became a Captain in October 1962. His steady progression in the military saw him serve variously as Deputy Commander, Federal Guards, Commander, Federal Guards, Deputy Adjutant and Quartermaster-General Headquarters, 2nd Brigade, Apapa, Lagos, Station Commander, Benin, Midwest (old Bendel State), Second in command, 4 th Battalion, Ibadan, among others. Having played his part in the stage of life, one could only wish him eternal peace at the bosom of the Lord. Rest in Peace, Brigadier General Mobolaji. •Ogunbiyi is of the Lagos State Ministry of Information & strategy, Alausa, Ikeja C M Y K
Page 1 and 2: Operation ‘Identify Yourself’:
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Page 5 and 6: vanguardnews @vanguardnews Vanguard
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Page 19 and 20: By Udeme Akpan Oil price recorded f
Page 27 and 28: Direct Digital Transformation Inves
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Page 45 and 46: Pinnick, 4 others discharged, acqui

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