NHEG-Magazine-March-April

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7. Avoid saying, “If you tell the truth, you won’t be punished.” Rather teach students that everyone makes mistakes, but that
there are consequences for lying. One idea is if a child breaks a rule, there is one consequence and if he or she lies about it,
there is an additional one. Dealing with lies in a calm, yet disciplined way teaches children that they are responsible for their
behavior.
8. Never ask a child a question that invites him or her to lie. For example, do not say, “Did you take the envelope with lunch
money off my desk?” Rather describe what you observe in a calm voice, “I see that the money envelope is gone. I am sad that
someone took something that was not theirs. It belongs to all of the students and needs to be returned.”
9. When what happened is unknown, ask the children about it. Observe their facial expressions and other nonverbal behaviors.
Listen for inconsistencies in the stories they tell. Ask yourself, “Are the comments spontaneous or rehearsed, believable
or full of contradictions?” If you suspect a child is lying, having him or her repeat his story can be helpful in determining the
truth.
10. Assist a child in saving face if he or she begins to tell a lie. Instead of saying, “That’s a lie!” say something like, “That doesn’t
sound right to me,” or “Wait, I need to hear the truth.” Then the child may say something like, “Oh, I forgot, it wasn’t exactly
like that...” Or simply give attention without hearing the lie by interrupting it with a request, “(Child’s name), I need you to
collect the papers.”
11. When appropriate, talk about imagination and how sometimes children lie to protect themselves or others. You could say
something like, “(child’s name), you have a vivid imagination. Your stories are exciting, but now I need to hear the truth,” or “In
this room we care about each other and it is okay to make mistakes. But, it’s not okay to lie to me.”
12. Discuss lying with a guilty child as privately as possible, and avoid shaming him or her. Your goal is to help the child become
more honest. Attempt to find a solution to the problem together by stating what happened and by asking something like,
“What will you do now to make things right?” If the child has no response, provide some suggestions from which he or she can
choose.
13. Model honesty and fairness toward your students and peers. Point out that people can learn from their mistakes, and that
if a lie is told it can be rectified if the child or adult acknowledges it. (For children ages three to ten, see the Kelly Bear Behavior
book that deals with lying.)
14. If lying becomes a significant problem, involve a parent or parents. Help them see that every child needs to feel loved and
cared for, even if he or she is not always truthful. Together explore appropriate consequences and rewards that will reinforce
Words Can Inspire
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
Most educators can recall a teacher’s comment that either encouraged or discouraged them. Positive messages
foster a child’s growth and are constructive, while negative messages can defeat and discourage a child. Our words can have
a profound effect upon a child’s attitude and behavior. A comment like, “You better do well on this test,” can threaten a child’s
confidence. In contrast, by saying, “This is an important test, but I know each of you will do your best,” can inspire children to
try harder. Here are some examples of teacher comments made to children that illustrate how the right (or wrong) words can
discourage or encourage:
A discouraging comment such as...
“You are slow like your brothers. You may never learn to read.”
...would lead the child to internalize the message and quit trying.
An encouraging comment such as...
“You do well in math and I believe you will become a good reader. I will help you learn to read!”
...would make the child think that if his teacher believes that he can learn to read, maybe he really can! The student will feel
proud of his math ability and be ready to try to improve his reading.
A discouraging comment such as...
“You are always in trouble. You are just one of those children who cannot get along with others.”
...would lead a child to believe that she is a hopeless troublemaker who will never have friends.
Successful Teachers
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
www.NewHeightsEducation.org
Teacher comments can have a significant impact on a child’s self-esteem. Many students come to school sad and discouraged
as a result of poverty, abuse or other problems. Children desperately need someone to believe in their worth and encourage
them to try harder to do their best!
Jerry Moe, a renowned national speaker and prevention specialist for children at the Betty Ford Center, shared his childhood
at a recent conference. His parents were alcoholics who were unavailable to help him grow and develop into a self-confident
child. As an adolescent, he exhibited delinquent behaviors. One day a substitute teacher called him aside and said, “You are
too good to get in trouble. I see a lovable child underneath your tough exterior. You are a valuable human being. I know you
can make a contribution to this world.” Mr. Moe reported that those few words turned his life around and he began to believe
that he could develop into a worthwhile person.
Students with a low sense of worth dwell on their weaknesses. Teachers who search for and discover each child’s strengths
can contribute greatly to a child’s revised self-concept. When a teacher mentions a child’s strengths, he or she will most likely
begin to believe he has abilities.
For example a teacher might say:
“I see you can run very fast. You may want to be on the track team someday.”
“I have been thinking about your project idea, and I have decided to use it!”
“What a creative story! I am going to hang your paper on the bulletin board.”
“What bright colors you used in your picture. Maybe you will become an artist!”
Words that paint successful pictures for children stimulate optimism about their future and thus encourage positive behaviors.
If you want to inspire your students, stop and think before saying something defeating and then express the idea in a
Teachers set the tone in a classroom and can affect children’s lives in profound ways. What teachers do and say
encourages or discourages their students. When teachers model acceptance and caring for all children, the students
are likely to follow their example. The resulting classroom climate is conducive to children’s growth and development.
Children thrive when teachers:
• Sincerely like them and believe in their worth
• Are dedicated to helping children learn
• Are enthusiastic about teaching and inspire their students
• Are prepared, consistent and firm
• Provide a nurturing, safe environment
• Accept themselves as imperfect and freely admit to making
mistakes
• Model fairness, honesty and dependability
• Listen carefully and give recognition freely
• Are sensitive and respectful of children’s individual
differences
• Provide an opportunity for children to help formulate classroom
rules
• Help children feel important by allowing them to make
choices
• Acknowledge children’s efforts and successes no matter
how small
• Stress that it is okay to make mistakes because they are a
natural part of learning
• Avoid threats, sarcasm, favoritism and pity
• Focus on solutions to problems rather than on punishment
• Teach children how to solve their problems peacefully by
listening to each other and by compromising
• Provide opportunities for children to encourage and
applaud one another
• Involve parents or guardians as partners in their children’s
education
• Invite them to dream, share goals, and to think of themselves
as being successful
An encouraging comment such as...
“You are a talented artist. Getting along with others is something that can be improved upon. I know you will be able to learn
how to share and take turns.”
...would inspire a child to try to live up to her teacher’s expectation of her being able to behave appropriately.
134 NHEG Magazine | January - February 2020
• Have clear, high, reasonable expectations for children’s
work
January - February 2020 | NHEG Magazine 135